Surprise day trip - sister mad!

[Bellyblueboy]

I will open this by saying I don’t have kids!

it’s my sister’s birthday today. As her present I have booked a day trip to London for us (we are in Dublin). I knew she wouldn’t want an overnight because of her dog.

I have booked flights and a few things for us to do. I have arranged someone to come and walk the dog (our brother).

she is angry because it’s a long day - first and last flights and she says it will be too much for the kids.

we would need to leave the house at about 6:30am and our flight gets back at about 9pm.

I thought in the summer holidays this would be grand - but clearly not🫣.

I have apologised - the flights are non refundable. She and I can’t go without the kids as her husband is away on a work trip and no grandparents are free.

So my question - do you think she will come around? Do I go alone? I honestly thought I was doing a nice thing but she says I am clueless and don’t understand children. The kids are 12 and 16. The 16 year old does love a lie in and on non-school days is rarely up before noon! But he has got up early before for holidays.

There are daily threads on here where female posters are saying how exhausted they are because of life, work, family, house, garden blah ,blah. Perfectly justified. Modern life is hard work. Maybe Ops sister feels this is just more stuff to deal with in her brain and her immediate reaction is a negative one. If you are feeling healthy, happy and positive about life its easy to take teens on a long day involving airports, new stuff etc. If you aren't it's like dragging your feet through quick sand. She didn't have a say in this. She is allowed to feel as she feels.

I wasn't specifically referring to the OPs sister.
More the posters who say they wouldn't do a trip like this because it would make them tired. Does that mean you never do anything that deviates from your routine?

If they want to go. What about if they don’t?

Mine would hate this kind of day, and you’ve never experienced passive aggression until you’ve experienced tween/teen passive aggression.

I do this all the time but the other way over to Dublin with similar aged children who love it. However, I'd never book this as a gift for someone and just assume they are ok with it. It's a very early start to get to the airport for that flight, infact I'd never pick the flight that's that early. I get the 8:30 one and that's still a killer getting up and to the airport so early. Its a long ass day, that someone should be able to make the choice if they want to do.

I have one, and it's been fine thus far. If they don't want to go, they could theoretically be left at home, but I'd hazard a guess they'd be quite excited to go to London for the day. Getting them up slightly earlier than usual really shouldn't be that much of a big deal considering it's a once off.

I said it sounds exhausting.

Exhausting and draining - traipsing around really slow and boring sightseeing symbols (sorry but it is, the London Eye is soul destroyingly boring).

I could do the same hours to do something I would genuinely enjoy - cocktails in Covent Garden, a show in the west end etc (although I wouldn’t, I would stay over).

I would have to drag my kids up to do something neither they nor I want to do. That’s what’s exhausting. Not the hours themselves.

If we had been consulted and said well actually let’s go and do ABC instead (same timings) and I knew they were really keen, would bounce out of bed and we were all looking forward to it, it wouldn’t be exhausting.

It is largely not physical exhaustion that plagues people (mainly women), it’s mental load, mental drain.

I didn’t see the actual itinerary per se, I read:

Have to wake them up really early.
Absolutely must be on time, it’s a flight.
Things will be ticketed, we will be on a schedule.
Nothing is adrenaline filled or anything I can see my kids being enthused about.
Nothing looks like something I would like to do.
Dragging kids round sightseeing places tends to not be well received. That means at least low level moaning at regular intervals.
This sounds like hard work….oh and I’m also expected to be grateful as it’s a ‘treat’ for me.
Based on the above this doesn’t sound like a treat.

It sounds like a nice idea. At 16 and 12 the children could easily cope but also presumably stay at home without an adult quite often.

Sorry I've just re-read and it sounds like it's a similar flight to what we do if you'd have to leave at 6:30. My kids love doing this but they are given the choice knowingnhow early they'd have to get up. Your sister is being awkward I think, but then she should have been given the choice.

You did a nice thing and the kids would probably enjoy it but your sister won't. She sounds anxious, I get anxious over everything ATM even going to the supermarket.. maybe she's going through something similar

I'd feel like that, and I don't have children. I wouldn't do this trip in one day.

They are old enough to stay home as their mum will be back home in the evening.

Then why doesn’t their mum suggest this and still go?

It doesn’t sound like she wants to, and that’s her prerogative without being called ungrateful.

Give it a some time and she come around. I'm terrible when presented with surprises and panic. It may just be she's finding the kids super hard work coming to end if school year and just feels like another task.

If it was me I’d have preferred at least at overnight stay and more cost and someone to dog sit but I’d find that a lot in one day.

As pp said Paris in a day is more doable from London as you’re on and off the train, no airports.

I think it sounds like a brilliant gift, and my teens would also love it. I would be so touched at the thought.

Take us! 😂

As pp said Paris in a day is more doable from London as you’re on and off the train, no airports.

But they're travelling from Dublin to London

Okay okay😂. I have made a mistake - dear heavens!

I answer to some questions I was of-course paying for everything. The boat trip was the rip. The London eye was because my sister has always wanted to do it - I have done it a few times but she and the kids havent.

but everyone can relax - I am going by myself.

getting sister a different present that doesn’t involve any activities or planning. Maybe new Ghd straighteners!

and relax 😊

Well tbf you may not have children but you have been one and will no doubt have a feel for if you'd have done this as a child.

I have children and I'd do this with them.

What a shame OP, my kids and I would have absolutely loved it as, I'm sure, would many others.

We live and learn I suppose! 🙄

I hope you have a wonderful time.

Would a day return train trip to Galway city not have been a better plan with teenagers? Still a full day out but not half as much hassle.

Oh OP, don’t be disheartened. Mumsnet is skewed heavily towards the introverted - people who put their pyjamas on as soon as they get home, get affronted if they’re expected to answer their front door and think weddings, group holidays and team-building events are the seventh circle of hell. It’s not representative of the general population.

Were you planning on paying for everything?
Bus, taxi, food, shows, entertainment? For all 3 of them?

Of course - it’s a present!

and I didn’t book any shows. Wouldn’t have needed taxis - the tube takes you straight from city airport to the London eye.

I’d do it and I’m in Glasgow! Some people are making it sound like you asked her to go off to war!! Sounds a great day to me OP!

OP, give her a few days to think about it, she might calm down. It sounds like a great day out that many children that age would love.
She could be generally stressed and this sounds like work.
Taking the children on your own and giving her a day to herself sounds good too.
You are a lovely sister.