Things you miss from before having kids

[Smellslikechikenoutthere]

Very very happy to be a mum, like my life now in a different way and wouldn’t change it..,BUT…occasionally crave the things in my old life and hope to one day do them again

1). Lying in and sleeping properly
2). Coming downstairs only me and Ddog , to quiet, whatever I want on the tv/radio and only having to think about making myself a coffee
3). Drinking wine in the sun on my balcony, reading a book or listening to music..spending hours relaxing there until sunset and the stars come out..then crashing on my bed in a lovely drunken haze (barely drink these days as feel awful afterwards)
4). Doing what I want and when I want to
5). Spending rainy weekends lay on a sofa watching films all day and trashy tv
6). Making only food for myself and not having to cook full, heathy meals
7). Going to festivals and concerts and weekends away
8). Spending money on myself on perfume, bags, books..just whatever I fancy
9). Lying on a sun lounger on the beach, reading magazines, listening to music and drinking cocktails
10). Having proper time and conversations again with Dh

What would yours be?

Will I ever get these back?? Or will I be too old and a different person by then 🙈

If parenting was an actual job I’d have resigned this week!

I just miss being me and not being ‘mum’. My almost 6 year old is so active and he’s untireable. It’s like whatever I do it’s never enough and it makes me feel shit.
I have my dissertation due in in 2 weeks and my son will just not leave me be for 5 minutes 😩

Id like to pee in peace too, without my child shouting through the door “Are you having a poo mummy?”

Totally understand. It’s funny written down but in real life it isn’t.

Before DD I had lovely long hair and nice skin. When I look back at photos I want to cry. I have no problems with getting older, but the speed of which it happened has bothered me. I lost so much hair post partum and my hairline has never recovered.

I used to take really long luxurious baths and play loads of video games. My energy levels are now at quick shower and doom scrolling.

I miss DH and I just deciding at 9pm to go for a walk and get snacks and being out the door in 30 seconds.

i miss taking time with my make up and outfits. Comfort is key now.

i miss not having a drooping long belly. I can’t blame it solely on pregnancy but C section and two abdominal surgeries in 3 years really did a number on me and my belly looks like it’s melted now.

my vision! It got so much worse during pregnancy and never recovered.

I miss my sex life. It almost has to be scheduled now because I can’t fully relax once DD is in bed - I expect her to wake up. So we have to wait for opportunities when we work from home and she’s at nursery.

My perineum

My size 12 or 14 figure

Walking around London going to museums all day Saturday

Going out on Saturday night without a care in the world

Yep. DS is 5 and yesterday I may have said to DH "I hate parenting at the moment, 80% of the time." I just want to be left alone to go to the toilet, gulp down a cup of tea, have a shower or indeed sleep past 6 on a Sunday. It's nearly as demanding as breastfeeding a newborn. He just follows us around, demanding stuff. Weekends are meant to be enjoyable!

Travelling. My children have severe allergies. We don't go abroad yet. It wouldn't be a holiday as I'd be anxious every time they ate.

I’ve got all that back now apart from the one about only pleasing myself with food! If I could make one chore disappear… and I don’t really do any of the cooking but I do the online shopping and breakfasts and weekend lunches (dh will do this too if he’s about at the weekends), it’s just relentless!
I do miss evenings to ourselves but mostly the older 2 will be out or working or with their boyfriends and it’s just ds at home with us. I’d love to be able to just ‘be’ of an evening instead of playing a game or hearing a joke or helping with homework or watching shit tv 😂
BUT I can lie in, go out, drink a few boozy ones on a Saturday night, have weekends away with friends (mind you I did this even when they were very small!), have holidays away just with dh, read a book in an afternoon, loads of stuff just for me. I’ve always spent money on myself and never felt guilty for it.
And I do get so much joy from spending time with my kids, they are a lot of fun and get on with each other. They’re brilliant company.
It does get easier op and anyone else wondering if it will.

I miss being able to go out without either taking the kids or waiting for my husband to come home so I can go out. However, they are 7 and 9 this year so we are getting closer to being able to nip to the shop or go for a run when I want to.

I miss being able to actually sleep in late sometimes. Years of waking up with the kids mean that once it hits 7am I can't even snooze. Good for when I want to get up and get stuff done but sometimes I want to actually he asleep at 8am. Not sure if this will ever come back 😕

It's difficult to remember what life was like, I left Uni at 22 and had my eldest at 28 so there wasn't a huge amount of years of living a real adult life.

It was quieter but I quite liked the background noise children make (when they aren't being too loud and annoying!!)

I miss all the things but also the ability to be poorly in peace!

My two are 13 and 15
I do all on the list ( except the sex) - I'm single.
It gets easier!

Haha I love this post! I literally day dream about my life when the kids have grown up and what I will do:

Reading in peace and more often as barely get anytime these days!

Having sex and being loud and not having to be quiet and it always being a quickie!

Being able to go away abroad multiple times a year.

Only having to clean up after myself

Being able to make my home look more attractive and have nicer things in it without thinking I can't have that as I have children

Being able to go out on the weekends and meet friends for coffee and lunch or even nights out!

Not feeling guilty for buying myself something nice and then feeling bad and having to get the kids something too yet they are well and truly looked after and have everything they need🙈🤣

Having a nicer car as I know the interior wouldn't get ruined by spilt food or drinks and shoes on chairs.

Soo your post is basically everything I think about but I wanted too add these 🤣

Having a halfway decent relationship with my husband where I don’t feel angry and resentful about 75% of the time because so much shit seems to be landing in my lap.

Caribbean holidays
My waist

When they were younger - sleep

Honestly I think every parent craves it hun it's not just you and don't feel guilty to crave your old life now and then having children is a huge change!! I mean I love my children absolutely adore them, they are my world but some days I just think mehhhh wish I could just bugger off on a plane for a week 🤣🤷🏼‍♀️ when your a mum too sometimes life becomes robotic cleaning, cooking and washing repeat! I wish I could have a sh*t in peace but that won't happen for a while 🤣 my kids are 13,11,8 and 1 I'll be 50 when my youngest is 18 and I tell you what I don't care how old I am I'm doing everything I haven't done since I was 19 when I had my first child 😊. It is funny though because I know damn well when they all fly the best eventually I will miss them and won't really know what too do with myself 🤣🙈 can't really win hey?

@Piglet89 Yes, this too

I think just putting yourself first is the main thing I miss, and sleep.

I made myself some chips the other night and forgot they were in the oven (I turned it off) they sat there for 2 days until the next time I made dinner, that just sums up having young kids for me you put everyone's lifejacket on but forget your own etc etc!

@Smellslikechikenoutthere Alton Towers do a late night Halloween Evening. It;s such fun.

I feel the same it’s like you lose yourself

It gets easier once they’re all a bit older if your still on baby stage with one of them it’s tough and a big adjustment juggling them especially if the older kids are loud while baby is trying to sleep and you just want 5 minutes to yourself

I identify with most of these, but my god I miss easy, spontaneous, open-ended socialising.

Now the weather is good, pre kids id often be down at the pub after work - colleagues, friends. You’d stay all night sometimes.

Now that takes organisation. Finding a friend available also takes organisation.

Friendships in general are quite difficult as a parent I find. Everyone is so busy with their own lives.

It can be a bit lonely really. I haven’t made new ‘mum friends’ as I thought as everyone is in the same boat of being exhausted and busy with work and kids.

Probably most of those and now my youngest is 16 I can finally have most of those things again and I’m very happy about that!

When they get older you get do more fun things with them by choice. For example sometimes doing anything with a 2 year old whinging and doing a runner is a nightmare but having a 16 year old and doing a shopping day, meal and the cinema is like going out with a friend. You can chat and have a giggle.

I miss being carefree.

The constant niggling anxiety at the back of my mind is difficult. Have they eaten enough? Are they safe? Where do they need to be at this hour of the day?

Does it get any easier?

I miss not worrying. I'm exhausted with worrying. And fighting for support.

We have SEN dc - sometimes I feel guilty with the thought that If I went back in time I would think long and hard about the decision to have dc and most likely I wouldn't choose this path. I remember nievely discussing the possibility of having children with disabilities with DH and we both looked at life with disabilities in this rose tinted view. I have no friends, no social life, never been abroad, days out are stressful, life isn't what we pictured. And I'm skint, so very very poor. In all senses of the word. I love my children but the life I lead is not one I would choose for anyone.

General freedom!

I watched a vid of myself skydiving whilst I was travelling 15 or so years ago. I miss that. I used to go away every 6w at one point, now I haven't been abroad once in 4 years.