Things you miss from before having kids

[Smellslikechikenoutthere]

Very very happy to be a mum, like my life now in a different way and wouldn’t change it..,BUT…occasionally crave the things in my old life and hope to one day do them again

1). Lying in and sleeping properly
2). Coming downstairs only me and Ddog , to quiet, whatever I want on the tv/radio and only having to think about making myself a coffee
3). Drinking wine in the sun on my balcony, reading a book or listening to music..spending hours relaxing there until sunset and the stars come out..then crashing on my bed in a lovely drunken haze (barely drink these days as feel awful afterwards)
4). Doing what I want and when I want to
5). Spending rainy weekends lay on a sofa watching films all day and trashy tv
6). Making only food for myself and not having to cook full, heathy meals
7). Going to festivals and concerts and weekends away
8). Spending money on myself on perfume, bags, books..just whatever I fancy
9). Lying on a sun lounger on the beach, reading magazines, listening to music and drinking cocktails
10). Having proper time and conversations again with Dh

What would yours be?

Will I ever get these back?? Or will I be too old and a different person by then 🙈

Slender figure

Oh and not having almost constant worry..selfishly being able to think of only myself most of the time..

Having sex spontaneously and without having to be quiet.

All of yours, basically!

Sleep the most. DS is nearly 6 and has been coming to wake us up at about 3, then again at about 5.30, for almost a year.

I think you've hit mine on the head- I miss doing things just because I like them AND not feeling selfish about this. DH and I have always been quite independent and we've never held each other back from going and doing anything, but I always feel a side of mum-guilt.

I also miss being able to watch anything at anytime; Sopranos at 9am? no problem, Walking Dead over lunch? totally fine.

I mean people say "Oh well, it's not like childfree couples are actually going on spontaneous weekends away, or nights out twice a week" but my best friend and her husband do. I am envious.

Peace. I really miss peace. Coffee first thing in silence. Sundays reading the papers in silence or just with classical music playing.

Freedom to just go out, to the shops, for a walk without so much planning.

Holidays exploring cobbled streets and museums and stopping for a slow lunch with interesting food and good conversation.

Will I ever get these back?? Or will I be too old and a different person by then

Yes, you will. My DCs are late teens now and I could near enough all of your list if wanted to (maybe not the spending money on myself one yet).

Will I ever get these back?? Or will I be too old and a different person by then

Well define 'too old' I mean you don't change who you are just because you get older. Mine are 15,19,21

1). Lying in and sleeping properly do this every weekend
2). Coming downstairs only me and Ddog , to quiet, whatever I want on the tv/radio and only having to think about making myself a coffee yup
3). Drinking wine in the sun on my balcony, reading a book or listening to music..spending hours relaxing there until sunset and the stars come out..then crashing on my bed in a lovely drunken haze (barely drink these days as feel awful afterwards) again yes
4). Doing what I want and when I want to yes
5). Spending rainy weekends lay on a sofa watching films all day and trashy tv watched Real Housewives all morning!
6). Making only food for myself and not having to cook full, heathy meals sometimes
7). Going to festivals and concerts and weekends away went away last weekend and have a festival next weekend
8). Spending money on myself on perfume, bags, books..just whatever I fancy have always done this to be honest
9). Lying on a sun lounger on the beach, reading magazines, listening to music and drinking cocktails yes - I go away alone but teen also likes 'chilling' by the pool
10). Having proper time and conversations again with DH no DH here but lots of lovely chats with the kids

Not sure how old you think is too old to do any of the above but I am 54 and my 87 year old mother is currently train/AirB+B'ing around the south of France! Drinking wine, reading books and having a ball.

Some of those you will get back, hopefully!!
I take my DD to concerts, festivals, love going away with her she makes everything so joyous (took her to an abba tribute and she turned to me with shining eyes and said this is the best thing that ever happened to me 😂😂)

also we love watching trashy TV on a mattress in the lounge when it rains. I hate horror and gore so never really felt like I missed out on not watching that stuff.

I miss having a disposable income and I miss moving around from place to place.

I miss weekends not spent at dance competitions. Jesus Christ they are tedious.

I miss my motorbike

Deciding to go somewhere, and just going.

I didn’t really mean I’d be too old, just if I would have changed by then and not enjoy those things.

Yes to spontaneous sex too or any really 😂or just feeling like it

Yes to just having peace and slow times, doing what you want and when

@HandsDown84 Yes, we have no family near by, we’ve never been even out on a night out alone, I can’t even imagine how incredible a weekend away would be or just a weekend at home alone

1. Lots of social stuff which has drastically reduced due to lack of time, energy, childcare and money - cinema (very rare), clubbing/pub nights (never), meals out friends (more frequent but not as often as before), parties (very rare) etc.
2. Same as above re: fitness e.g. I used to go the gym and pole fitness classes. Now can't do either.
3. Holidays abroad - no longer afford it.
4. Holidays in the UK - we still do this but obviously it's not the break it used to be, at all! Everything revolves around the kids.
5. Being able to spend hours slowly going around a museum or art exhibition.
6. Being able to eat meals at a normal pace.
7. Doing things just with DH. We spend about half a day together twice a year, we take annual leave for this. No offers of babysitting and we don't feel comfortable paying a professional sitter (and cost barrier too).
8. Attending weddings just with DH. I love weddings but its far less enjoyable with the kids, or on my own.
9. Regular lay ins on the weekend
10. Lazy days at home watching movies/sunbathing etc
11. Having a clean and tidy house
12. Not worrying about money and financial/job/housing security etc. We had less money before anyway but obviously less to spend it on and I was never worried or thinking ahead all the time like I am now

Oh and I miss my body in terms of down below 😩I tore during labour and have never felt the same since

I'm assuming your kids are very young OP? I've done most of those in the last week, all of them in the last month, and mine are 13 and 10. So fear not, you won't be waiting until they move out!

Nearly 50 and have most of these back.
Can't drink much anymore though.

But teens sleep late, are often out or sleeping over.

You can go to gigs with or without them.

They often enjoy the same shows or films as you do and if they don't they will take themselves off.

They go away of school trips, camps etc leaving you blocks of time to holiday just with DH.

You will get this stuff back.

You will look older but might well not actually feel that much older when you get to this age.

Number 4) that’s basically everything for me; doing what I want. That’s it. I never do what I want anymore. I’m always doing things because other people (my 2 children) want me to.

ill add - being on my own and no one knowing where I am (because it doesn’t matter to anyone else where I am).

This is always good to hear when you’re in the thick of it (even if you already know it)

Omg yes, with no stuff!

We are still able to do most of your list.

My main one is having to wipe other arses than my own, I can’t wait to ditch that.

@qpllljkkfi 5!

Thank you to everyone who has said it comes back!! This gives me hope that life with young children is like this forever!