Things you miss from before having kids

[Smellslikechikenoutthere]

Very very happy to be a mum, like my life now in a different way and wouldn’t change it..,BUT…occasionally crave the things in my old life and hope to one day do them again

1). Lying in and sleeping properly
2). Coming downstairs only me and Ddog , to quiet, whatever I want on the tv/radio and only having to think about making myself a coffee
3). Drinking wine in the sun on my balcony, reading a book or listening to music..spending hours relaxing there until sunset and the stars come out..then crashing on my bed in a lovely drunken haze (barely drink these days as feel awful afterwards)
4). Doing what I want and when I want to
5). Spending rainy weekends lay on a sofa watching films all day and trashy tv
6). Making only food for myself and not having to cook full, heathy meals
7). Going to festivals and concerts and weekends away
8). Spending money on myself on perfume, bags, books..just whatever I fancy
9). Lying on a sun lounger on the beach, reading magazines, listening to music and drinking cocktails
10). Having proper time and conversations again with Dh

What would yours be?

Will I ever get these back?? Or will I be too old and a different person by then 🙈

Small boobs. Waist.
Holidays out of term time to far flung places. For a long time.

Oh and tidying up my house & it staying tidy for more than 10 mins!

Having money

Travelling - I have a 2 year old and it’s just not fun… I can’t spend days wandering then eat in any restaurant. Everything has to planned and planned around naps and sleep and what will stop the whinging!!

The prospect of moving to another city, town etc I feel trapped as I’m in a good school area with family around so can’t move out rural with chickens just for fun

Doing nothing and having nothing planned sounds blissful

I hear ya

I miss me

I miss walking home from work with my DP (when we used to live in London because we didn’t need a bloody 4-bed house and a garden aka 2 million quid) and stoping at a pub, having a pint, walking on, a meal out, another drink… a spontaneous but totally unremarkable evening in the life of a couple with money and no children. I miss being well rested, in control, sexual.

My sanity and robust mental health. I fear they are gone forever.

The biggest things for me would be:

1. sleep
2. only being responsible for myself
3. doing what I want, when I want
4. having much more free time
5. much less worry
6. being spontaneous / planning less
7. having more money!

I miss being able to clean up and organise without interruption, eating without interruption and lie ins and relaxing evenings. Most other things are fine 😅

wouldn’t change anything though, my children bring a unique joy and satisfaction to my life that wasn’t there before.

Actually I also really miss by toned stomach, mines a jiggly mess now

You will get it all back and you'll appreciate it all the more for having missed out on those things for a few years. Some of these things become even more fun because you can enjoy them with your grown up children!

I feel like you’ve literally hit the nail on the head. I’ve never been an active person but having a toddler has made me be on the go constantly.

We're very lucky in terms of childcare so we can have nights out but half the time I’m clock watching because I know I’ll have to deal with an 18 month old and a hangover the following day.

Musical festivals is also a big one that has crept up on me this year - seeing everyone doing their Glasto prep is making me so jealous! I know you can take the kids but it would be a whole different experience.

Late at night? I don't understand...

Nothing. Nothing at all.
I really wanted children, and struggling to have them put me into a trough of despair. I feel so lucky and so privileged to be a mum. There's nothing like it in the world.
Forgive me because I know this is light hearted, but I just had to say ❤️

Smoking.

Staying up/out late whenever because I can just decide to sleep in the next day.

Rainy indoor weekends actually being relaxing. I try with the crafts and baking but my daughter wants to turn everything into over the top silliness at the moment.

Travelling being easy. Especially the waiting around bits.

Peace . Both peace and quiet and lack of fighting.

Having a car that didn't have to be so family friendly.

Not feeling like a sheepdog or referee rounding everyone up and stopping fighting

Probably not much else. Although I miss only having one child, as it was much easier to do everything with one. It was cheaper too.

@CatrionaBalfour I struggled for years too, 9 years, I completely understand and I feel more guilty for making this post 😩I wouldn’t change it for the world at all..it’s still allowed that when times are tough we may crave our old lives…

@Satanzlilhelpa You said late Alton towers..sorry I didn’t get it 😂

Oh please don't feel guilty!!
It's a nice idea and I know what you meant!
It just made me think. Thats all x

Full night of sleep. Ohhhh I miss it so much.

1. Sleeping when I want and waking up naturally
2. Freedom to do what I want when I want
3. As you say, rainy weekends as an excuse to sit on the sofa and binge-watch
4. parkruns (now clash with swimming lessons)
5. Running four times a week, and having sufficient fitness for it to feel like I am near my peak and it feeling like an achievement
6. Regular running events, ie half-marathons
7. Related to the two above - getting joy from my own achievements, rather than my DC's... Don't get me wrong, it is great revelling in their achievements and effort, but it sometimes does make me miss my own
8. Not having to cook if I don't feel like it (I used to love cooking; I now can't stand it!)
9. Cheap holidays

10. Travelling to new and exciting places with ease and little stress 11. Only having to be responsible for and worrying about myself

The thing is, you never appreciate the things you have when you have them.

And, although having children is a huge source of worry, I do find that it puts most other worries I had before children into perspective.

Mine are young teens and I miss

1. sex - without having to be very discreet, and keep one ear open. And as a pp said, feeling like a sexual being.
2. not worrying - I’m always a bit anxious about something. Ds is autistic and I’m sure I always will.
3. Spontaneous travelling - autism makes this trickier.

So many of the other things have returned, and it’s lovely being able to enjoy some of them with the dc.

But I also miss my little children. So much! Don’t get me wrong because I love my teens too. I’d just like to have my babies, toddlers and young school age dc as well. Fortunately dh wouldn’t let me keep going. And anyway I don’t want more dc, just my own ones in all their loveliness.

I really miss only one thing; being able to slam the door of my flat and just...go. Just go out, without having to first sort out pram, kid, sun cream, toys, wipes, changes of clothes etc 😅