For being upset at what DP said to his friend?

[summerOnes]

DP is asleep on the sofa and his phone was next to me charged up. He kept getting messages from his best friend, like one every second saying “reply quick” so I went onto the messages to see if it was anything serious so I could tell DP.

Long story short I’ve just read a conversation that went like this.

His friend “how was Amsterdam, did you go to the red light district” (we went amsterdam last week week)
DP “yeah there were so many fit birds there”
His friend “There is isn’t there🤣”
DP “yeah I’m so glad I went with (my name) otherwise I’d be skint🤣”

Ive come upstairs because I am fuming. He’s still asleep downstairs and I know when I mention it to him he will say he was joking. But would anyone else take it as a joke? Am I over thinking and just put it down to lads having “banter”

@Begsthequestion ... as my parting shot! i now realise where i have gone wrong all these years...

the stags my husband has been on, they haven't left the country... phew thankgoodness, i dodged a bullet there eh.

@MushroomStamp Some men, not all

Do you understand the difference between women as sexual beings and women and sexual objects / commodities ?

what is a lads lad? Is that code for rampant misogynist?

It's central in Amsterdam. You come out of the station and its a bit to the left @beckybarefoot . The OP is not at fault.

You cant avoid as it sprawls to other areas. Plus theres unsavoury stuff like shops selling dildos and novety condoms amidst a pretty stellar city.

I thought it was mainly at night but it seems there are women on show in the day. Its grim but I do love the city and there's lots to recommend it for a holiday with teens.

@summerOnes I'd be annoyed with my DP finding the exploitation of women titillating.

If I’m offended by rape jokes, does that make me po-faced? What about racist ones? Theres nothing funny in what was said.

So you have to be willing to joke about buying prostitutes (behind your wife’s back ) to qualify as “a man” in your opinion?

Again, it’s not about him “looking at another woman”, it’s about him joking about buying prostitutes. I’m staggered you don’t perceive a difference.

This thread is an interesting mix of cynically low bars and inexplicable naivety, often from the same posters at the same time.

Is this how some straight women cope with having to date straight men?

Plenty of women joke about how they wouldn't kick some blokes out of bed, what they would like to do to other blokes and so on. I know many of .my work mates do. Hell we even have that sort of banter between the women and the gay men. Amazingly we all manage to never actually put it into practice its just a bit of fun between mates.

A couple of weeks ago we went on a hen weekend that involved butlers in the buff, sip and paint with a very fit naked bloke and none of us actually slept with anyone. Cos you know all the talk is literally that - just stupid talk between mates.

This thread is an interesting mix of cynically low bars and inexplicable naivety, often from the same posters at the same time.

quite.

Is this how some straight women cope with having to date straight men?

Sadly I think this is right on the nose.

I think you're being sensitive. It was a joke. Unless he has form for being a sleeve I wouldn't batter an eyelid at that comment.

@summerOnes It’s completely inappropriate and disrespectful. I would find it impossible to get past shit like this. And I would never be in a relationship where this kind of sexist disloyal crap was seen as ‘banter’.

It’s understandable that you are fuming.
Its disrespecting you.
Having said that it is highly likely that it’s just banter and he’s just wanting to make his mate laugh.
Do you trust him?

I am not a pearl clutcher by any means but women lining up to excuse this as banter is really depressing.

I don't think emulating bad male behaviour is a good look. Just because men talk about women as sex objects I don't see women talking about men in a similar fashion is something to aspire to.

Similarly the thought of women watching Butlers in the buff turns my stomach almost, but not quite, as men going to see strippers and lapdancers.

Oh God, I'd rather forget them thanks very much.

I actually think this sounds like immature lads banter. With no harm in it really.
Could you imagine going somewhere where there were loads of fit men in swimwear, or male strippers, you might make a joke in a similar vein to your female pals? It's kind of crass but I would not take it to mean he was desperate to sleep with hookers, nor that he ever actually would do so. The red light district is clearly designed to be titillating so some sort of chat in that manner around it doesn't seem abnormal.

I'd understand your outrage a bit more if you wouldn't have gone there with him yourself.

I would be appalled. But then I would never go look at people selling their bodies for what could be tragic reasons as fun sightseeing. So perhaps OP you need to look at yourself too.

What? By having to cope with partner who makes jokes to his friends in a private conversation that wasn’t mean to be seen by the OP.

I find joking about paying for sex quite crass and it would make me view a man differently, including a husband.

Not a funny joke and many a true word said in jest.