For being upset at what DP said to his friend?

[summerOnes]

DP is asleep on the sofa and his phone was next to me charged up. He kept getting messages from his best friend, like one every second saying “reply quick” so I went onto the messages to see if it was anything serious so I could tell DP.

Long story short I’ve just read a conversation that went like this.

His friend “how was Amsterdam, did you go to the red light district” (we went amsterdam last week week)
DP “yeah there were so many fit birds there”
His friend “There is isn’t there🤣”
DP “yeah I’m so glad I went with (my name) otherwise I’d be skint🤣”

Ive come upstairs because I am fuming. He’s still asleep downstairs and I know when I mention it to him he will say he was joking. But would anyone else take it as a joke? Am I over thinking and just put it down to lads having “banter”

So I presume you don't make jokes like op's partner did either then.

There's more than one type of man.

The bar for men is set so low it’s unreal. I would not tolerate this in my marriage at all. I would expect my husband to show me so much more respect than that I’d be seriously reconsidering my marriage.

im absolutely certain my husband would not sleep with a sex worker! and i absolutely trust him that he won't.

he does look at other women, but he can control himself enough not to try throw cash at a them.

If you can't understand my posts, don't worry about it.

I feel sorry for you.

I'm sure you're very aware and there's absolutely nothing for you to worry about and your husband was an angel on every occasion.

The men in my life don't go on stag dos. It's not a thing in my circle.

Yup. This poster is arguing that all men are the same, and at the same time, that not all men are the same.

Banter, blokes seem to think they have do this to impress each other 😔

I ended up in the red light district of Amsterdam with my dad. (He, a soldier whose job was training other soldiers, got the map upside down!). OP could have got there accidentally, or maybe her partner knew where they were going and she didn't. It's easy to end up in the wrong place in a strange city.

@MushroomStamp hilarious but no I was changing a nappy

Confessions of the snoring man. By proxy.

@Begsthequestion ... i feel very sorry that you have such a low opinion of men and lack trust!

I know you will find it hard to believe, but there ARE men out there who can be faithful too their partners and can contain themselves around other women.

what a sad day

I would mention it to him when he wakes. I'd stick to the facts, his friend was messaging him, you read it just incase he needed anything urgently, you then read a conversation you wish you hadn't and state how you feel. Your feelings are valid, and you have every right to feel upset.

I wouldn't be annoyed at him making the 'joke', it be more upset on how he worded it.
'I’m so glad I went with (my name)' so just because you were there with him and not the fact he's not single...

Having said that, him saying it doesn't make him capable of doing anything.

So many po-faced, upright women around. It was just a bloody joke with a mate! Absolutely nothing in it.

Yeah I know. The men I know don't go off on extended stag dos to hire sex workers.

Other men do though.

@Begsthequestion .. no they don't! where is your evidence that this is what happens on a stag do?

who hurt you?

Are you OP's partner? If not how do you know it was banter?
It certainly sounds as though he is used to visiting prostitutes when he is not with OP. Only her partner and his mate , and probably all his other similar mates, know if this is just banter or a snap shot of what they are in the habit of doing.

It's the women that think they're being cool, chilled and I'm ok with my husband doing blah blah that get treated so appallingly by their men.
They might take the piss out of woman who won't tolerate certain behaviour and have boundaries but there's a saying that people treat you how you allow them to.

@MushroomStamp ... im actually laughing now at this thread.. its crazy! but i have to sign off now, but i can't wait to log in tomorrow to see how i get attacked further x thanks for the company

Have you honestly not realised this? Why do you think they go far away for days on end to countries where sex workers charge very little? It's super common. And even strippers often do extras on stag do's.

As I've said a few times already, I don't move in those circles personally. Doesn't appeal to me at all.

If I felt secure with my partner, I'd assume he was joking and banting

But then, if I were secure with my partner, I wouldn't make up an excuse to check his phone

If I felt insecure with my partner, I'd check his phone and assume he meant that he'd have paid for prostitutes when without me