For being upset at what DP said to his friend?

[summerOnes]

DP is asleep on the sofa and his phone was next to me charged up. He kept getting messages from his best friend, like one every second saying “reply quick” so I went onto the messages to see if it was anything serious so I could tell DP.

Long story short I’ve just read a conversation that went like this.

His friend “how was Amsterdam, did you go to the red light district” (we went amsterdam last week week)
DP “yeah there were so many fit birds there”
His friend “There is isn’t there🤣”
DP “yeah I’m so glad I went with (my name) otherwise I’d be skint🤣”

Ive come upstairs because I am fuming. He’s still asleep downstairs and I know when I mention it to him he will say he was joking. But would anyone else take it as a joke? Am I over thinking and just put it down to lads having “banter”

It’s a residential area in the centre of the old town, it would not only be difficult to avoid but you’d be missing out on seeing one of the most historical parts of Amsterdam.

@MushroomStamp @beckybarefoot I know it's off topic but can I just say how cool the pair of you are! Also love the bantz you two are having together on this thread! All these silly uppity women with their boring old values and boundaries!!

Tell me you don’t know anything about Amsterdam without telling me you don’t know anything about Amsterdam

You should see/hear some if the conversations I have with my friends and we’re all old ladies 😂😂 Honestly wouldn’t bother me.

It’s a crap joke. Nothing more.

The real question is do you trust him? If you do trust him and don't have reason to believe he really would have spent all his money on sex workers if he'd gone alone, then it's a non argument because you already know it was bantz between lads you weren't meant to see. So, do you think he would have used sex workers if you hadn't gone with him? You either do or you don't.

OP would you be otherwise concerned about your partner paying for sex, cheating, the company he keeps or is it this one exchange?

I don't think it's overthinking to not be tickled with amusement at said conversation but if he's a good guy you've never suspected of that kind of thing, I would probably not now suspect him of much more than humouring his friend. Could be a good time to sound out his views after your recent trip but I wouldn't go in re messages unless you have other concerns.

I think I've done 'see all' but apologies if missed an update, text box was open ages while I got called away.

Why are so many people so keen to prove how totally without standards they are? It's a race to the bottom.

I'd be fuming. Maybe it is a joke. Or maybe he does want to/already does have sex with other women and the only thing that stopped him in Amsterdam was you being there. You Know your partners humour so you will be more able than any one here to figure out if this was a joke or not.

HellonHeels · Today 16:33
He and his friend are both sleazy, unpleasant specimens. I'd be grossed out by that conversation””

This.

It is lads banter but that doesn't make it any less hurtful. I'd be pissed off too.

Just by that one conversation op I'd say you were over reacting slightly.
It wasn't the nicest thing to say but if that's all you have to go on I'd let it drop this time.

You seem to find it really hard to believe that not all men are brash and blokey and have 'lads chat' about birds.

I find it quite sad that you have such a low opinion of all men. I made a conscious decision that's not the type of man I wanted to end up with. It's not me and it's not the values or someone I could love.

Personally the use of the word ‘birds’ would be enough to make
me get the irreversible ick,never mind the rest of it.

I get that it was a joke - but I wouldn’t want to be with a man that finds that makes that sort of joke.

Christ it was a joke. I honestly don't know how some of you get through life. You get offended so easily. I'd be scared to be in your life because I'd be worried if I made a joke you'd get offended.
It was a joke you weren't even meant to see. It's your own fault you're upset.

Anyone saying this is “lads banter” needs to get better standards of what they think is an acceptable way for their partner to speak about them.

He showed you EXACTLY what he thinks of you and all women. Would I want such a revolting man for a life partner? Absolutely no chance.

@MushroomStamp I understand very clearly thanks. I'm not the one normalising this pathetic exchange.

I also choose not to call sex workers 'hookers'.

Is this meant to be logical? A man called women birds therefore he's only joking about paying for sex and that's great. Hmm.

There are men that enjoy cycling, hiking, outdoor pursuits, art, cooking, photography, travelling and have friends that do not lower women to mere birds that are there for his entertainment.

Bird is regional thing