For being upset at what DP said to his friend?

[summerOnes]

DP is asleep on the sofa and his phone was next to me charged up. He kept getting messages from his best friend, like one every second saying “reply quick” so I went onto the messages to see if it was anything serious so I could tell DP.

Long story short I’ve just read a conversation that went like this.

His friend “how was Amsterdam, did you go to the red light district” (we went amsterdam last week week)
DP “yeah there were so many fit birds there”
His friend “There is isn’t there🤣”
DP “yeah I’m so glad I went with (my name) otherwise I’d be skint🤣”

Ive come upstairs because I am fuming. He’s still asleep downstairs and I know when I mention it to him he will say he was joking. But would anyone else take it as a joke? Am I over thinking and just put it down to lads having “banter”

paying for sex with sex workers is absolutely not the same as a fantasy about film stars. One is a harmless fantasy about powerful individuals, the other is about the sexual exploitation of the powerless. Shame you can’t see the difference

Well I think it’s disgusting.

Sexist.some men do.

Banter or not, a decent bloke wouldn’t make comments like that.

Many a true word spoken in jest.

A decent woman wouldn't go gawping around the red light district, so they're well matched.

I'm certainly assuming so from the username. Check what it means on urban dictionary. Caution: not safe for work, and not something to look up during breakfast or any other meal.

I have checked and can't find any reference to it or variations

I think it's a joke in poor taste and not something he would actually act upon - stupid men's banter. I also think it's a bit futile to get angry about it.

We go on each other's phones sometimes

But OP going to gawp isn't taking amusement from women selling their bodies? I think they both deserve each other. Gross

If he really wanted to have sex with sex workers, he would be having it.

Plenty of married men do.

{Our GP was caught visiting massage parlours for sex}...married, four children.

OP didn't go to Amsterdam to gawp at sex workers.

on my first night there {I went alone as a young person} I found myself in the red light district {near where all the coffeeshops are} - It's in the historic, old part {or was}.

If they did, would you call them fag**ts?
Or worse?

Unfortunately your post seems to have attracted a bunch of loser MRAs and silly pickme types, op. Of course the texts you saw were out of order, to excuse them as ‘lads banter’ is pathetic and at this point, fucking boring.

It was a joke with his mates that you weren't supposed to read. You read it and didn't like it. Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to, and especially don't go snooping through other people's stuff.

Couldn’t agree more. Imagine thinking this is the type of thing men “just do”. 🤮

Sorry but red district is about women selling bodies, same way as dancers, or any performers really. Also do you think most people go to red district to what feel sorry for women? As long as women not forced and have a choice.

It's upsetting for us ladies but yes it is meaningless 'lads banter' i would leave it and crack on.

@MushroomStamp I just want to point out that there are a lot of male chefs out there. There is absolutely nothing unusual or wrong about men who like baking and yes talking about baking or texting about baking or swapping recipes or trading baking tips.

And there are male artists, craftsmen out there and some of them crochet or knit. There is nothing wrong with that either.

Toxic masculinity is going out of fashion, it’s time to let it go.

That’s a bit of an extreme jump don’t you think ?

@summerOnes YANBU and I can’t think of many men who would be ok with their dp or wife joking about cheating on him. He probably wouldn’t write it off as female banter.

It’s not respectful of your partner is it? It’s basically showing off to his friend that his dp/wife isn’t that important to him or valued very much. Typical of toxic masculinity mentality.

I have met men who are absolutely paranoid about their dp/wife cheating on them even when there is no evidence to suggest that they would. I could only imagine how they would react to this type of message on their dp/wife’s phone.

Telling username @MushroomStamp it really lets your misogyny shine through.

I thought banter was light hearted and witty ribbing or teasing. Looks like it's been appropriated by low intellect types to excuse the stupid shit they spout dressed up as 'jokes'.

How would you ever know if they were being forced? No one chooses that work for the love of it, there will be very little ‘choice’ in that woman’s life even the ones that aren’t being trafficked, exploited and abused. Many have drug habits and are a product of terrible childhoods.

That's really uncalled for, Amsterdam is lovely and romantic! Shame that most tourist only know it for weed and sex. But this says more about some people's narrowness of mind and is not Amsterdam's fault.

Totally agree! Having been to all three of those places, Amsterdam is my favourite by far for the canals, hotels, restaurants and museums which are all world class. I do find it completely bizarre that a couple on a weekend there would go anywhere near the red light district, but maybe that’s why my husband would never make this kind of “joke”…