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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For being upset at what DP said to his friend?

393 replies

summerOnes · 16/06/2024 16:26

DP is asleep on the sofa and his phone was next to me charged up. He kept getting messages from his best friend, like one every second saying “reply quick” so I went onto the messages to see if it was anything serious so I could tell DP.

Long story short I’ve just read a conversation that went like this.

His friend “how was Amsterdam, did you go to the red light district” (we went amsterdam last week week)
DP “yeah there were so many fit birds there”
His friend “There is isn’t there🤣”
DP “yeah I’m so glad I went with (my name) otherwise I’d be skint🤣”

Ive come upstairs because I am fuming. He’s still asleep downstairs and I know when I mention it to him he will say he was joking. But would anyone else take it as a joke? Am I over thinking and just put it down to lads having “banter”

OP posts:
Gymnopedie · 16/06/2024 20:50

So...

  1. Just because he said it doesn't mean he meant it.
  1. You went to the red light district on the recommendation of your friends to gawp at the ladies like people used to go to the fair to see the freak show - the bearded lady, the elephant man, the Siamese twins. I thought we'd moved on from that sort of voyeurism, and I'm not sure you come out of this well either.
Carbrer · 16/06/2024 20:50

Valeriekat · 16/06/2024 20:49

What makes you think they are women?

Indeed, there are a few fairly obvious men posting!

Howbizarre22 · 16/06/2024 20:52

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Brothels practically on every other street corner of the uk. Male escort number are a tiny fraction of female escorts/prostitutes. There is no balance here.
I just hope u men appreciate that a whole lot of those poor women are trafficked and abused and DO NOT want to be doing that.

summerOnes · 16/06/2024 20:58

@Gymnopedie What just because I went to a place that people had recommended to me? I didn’t do any gawping, in fact I felt quite uncomfortable.

I won’t feel guilty for going there though. Before reading some of the posts on here I didn’t realise it was such a bad place to go

OP posts:
MushroomStamp · 16/06/2024 21:01

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mrsdineen2 · 16/06/2024 21:08

Actively visiting and publically gawping at sex workers like they're a tourist exhibit - ok.

Making a private hypothetical joke about paying for their services when you didn't - crossing the line.

Have I got that right?

BlueBellsArePretty · 16/06/2024 21:10

beckybarefoot · 16/06/2024 20:48

@BlueBellsArePretty oh Lordy! You will be saddened to know that my pretty very well manicured toe nails now are almost always in socks and slippers 😂😂😂😂... and your comments could start a while thread of their own and I can only assume your are male to even understand the connotations behind the name

Coolgal, don't think you need to be male to understand the phrase 'barefoot and pregnant.' 😂😂😂

summerOnes · 16/06/2024 21:12

@mrsdineen2 almost

OP posts:
MushroomStamp · 16/06/2024 21:12

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Howbizarre22 · 16/06/2024 21:15

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What you think in the UK it’s equal? It’s common knowledge. No we don’t hate men, we hate their behaviour, just like we hate your justification for OPs partners sleazy “banter” about fucking other women. Can you just leave mumsnet now please fella and let us support the OP who is clearly upset.

beckybarefoot · 16/06/2024 21:20

@BlueBellsArePretty I just googled it.. you will be delighted to know I work and have many hobbies and interests outside the home!

Crossed wires maybe.. hubby is very happy I work, he would be equally happy if I didn't... it's my choice.

beckybarefoot · 16/06/2024 21:22

@Howbizarre22 ... uk statistics please

MushroomStamp · 16/06/2024 21:22

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NotTooOldPaul · 16/06/2024 21:27

I went to Amsterdam with my wife. We went round part of the red light district. I am not sure if we should have dsone this but both of us felt sad for the ladies trying to sell themselves.

summerOnes · 16/06/2024 21:27

@MushroomStamp Call it spurious all you like😴🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Shineabrightlight · 16/06/2024 21:28

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How is it double standards? I would find a woman talking in a similar vein about men as OP'S partner did about women just as unacceptable.
A lot of people find so called "banter" by either sex totally gross.

SeriaMau · 16/06/2024 21:29

yellowsmileyface · 16/06/2024 16:36

YANBU. Evidently he was "joking", but it would gross me out for a guy to "joke" about using women as a commodity. It indicates a general lack of respect for women.

Indeed. All jokes should be serious.

MushroomStamp · 16/06/2024 21:30

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Shineabrightlight · 16/06/2024 21:31

SeriaMau · 16/06/2024 21:29

Indeed. All jokes should be serious.

Well all jokes should at least attempt to be funny. There was nothing funny in what OP'S partner said.

Howbizarre22 · 16/06/2024 21:32

beckybarefoot · 16/06/2024 21:22

@Howbizarre22 ... uk statistics please

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/men-women-affair-sex-cheating-b2310909.html

Knock yourself out 😘

For being upset at what DP said to his friend?
Meetingofminds · 16/06/2024 21:32

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Or just really gross individuals of exceptionally low intellect pretending to be ‘funny’ - how deeply unattractive and cliché.

OonaStubbs · 16/06/2024 21:34

Surely men and women cheat an equal amount, unless these cheating men are cheating with other men?

beckybarefoot · 16/06/2024 21:34

@Howbizarre22 thank you... the wording is nearly twice as likely! It's not a definitive men cheat more than women... it says nearly twice as likely!

Not good enough for me I'm afraid! But thank you for the information

MushroomStamp · 16/06/2024 21:34

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