For being upset at what DP said to his friend?

[summerOnes]

DP is asleep on the sofa and his phone was next to me charged up. He kept getting messages from his best friend, like one every second saying “reply quick” so I went onto the messages to see if it was anything serious so I could tell DP.

Long story short I’ve just read a conversation that went like this.

His friend “how was Amsterdam, did you go to the red light district” (we went amsterdam last week week)
DP “yeah there were so many fit birds there”
His friend “There is isn’t there🤣”
DP “yeah I’m so glad I went with (my name) otherwise I’d be skint🤣”

Ive come upstairs because I am fuming. He’s still asleep downstairs and I know when I mention it to him he will say he was joking. But would anyone else take it as a joke? Am I over thinking and just put it down to lads having “banter”

@Travis1 who said the problem was him looking? Take your own advice

I am a woman. A very happy woman with a very longstanding good relationship and very well adjusted adult children. And no I am not misogynistic. I just have a different opinion to you. But then I am not rude like you either.

Couldn’t disagree more that “this is how men talk to each other”. I don’t know what kind of neanderthals you’d have to be accustomed to to say that, but men are perfectly capable of being emotionally literate, intelligent and interesting.

I don't think his comment to his friend means that if he had been in Amsterdam without you he would have had sex with another woman. Presumably he is not in your company 24/7 and, up to now, you haven't assumed he is being unfaithful. His comment does mean that he's a sleazy misogynist who speaks disrespectfully about women (including you?) to his friends.

He doesn’t respect you or your relationship. Either he would cheat, given the chance, or he wants his mates to think he would. Not really a catch either way.

Immature lads banter.
More to the point, what did he say when you told him you read his messages? It’s a dangerous route to go down.

Um football, cricket, music… if all they have to talk about is ‘fit birds’ and joking about using prostitutes then I’d bin them off. I can quite honestly say that my DH wouldn’t joke about that. I’d feel sick if he did.

He's joking about paying for sex with women who were likely trafficked, and many women here are excusing it. Unbelievable! Men act like this because women let them get away with it.

@MushroomStamp Are you honestly not bored now? Nobody finds you funny, you’re actually a bit cringe

He’s gross

Yes. Agree entirely. All those posters claiming you shouldn’t have looked are missing this point.

Oh grow up. Why have you some here asking for opinions? You clearly only wanted validation. I’ll tell you what’s cringe; going through your husbands phone behind his back. Good luck to you both.

Banter. Not worth an argument over. Hope you’re ok.

@Stripeysocks1981 Are you not seeing his constant bad attempts at trying to take the piss? Are you still going on about me going through his phone. Nobody’s arsed. Have a good night x

Why do you assume they're women? You really shouldn't.

I’m sure he will be if you tell him.
Really not healthy in a relationship. But you do you x

I can’t believe you’re more wound up by a joke than him actually being there but you went with him. You know the kind of man he is. Wonder if he knows you’re a creepy, privacy invader though

@Stripeysocks1981 he already knows you don’t need to worry☺️

@Travis1 well he knows I’ve seen the messages and he’s very sorry and no accusation of me being a creepy privacy invader from him so all good👍🏼

I wouldn't like that but wouldn't confront him either. Would have probably kept it somewhere at the back of my mind in "to watch out" box.

Sure, it's a joke. But I personally find it vile. I broke up with an ex who was like this because that's not the kind of man I wanted to be with forever.

So OP does that mean he has convinced you it was just a "joke" after all?

@Shineabrightlight No I’m still angry at him

Quite rightly.