To think it's not right that DD(19) has a 61 year old mum

[LornaDuh]

Don't know why it's just hit me at 10.45 on a Saturday night in June.

Just feels weird that a girl not yet out of her teens has a mum over 60!

I cant see the problem

When my ds is 19 I will be 62....

Eh. My mum had me at 42. Its never been an issue.

Not much you can do about it now?

It does sound old OP but if you're fit and healthy and happy age doesn't matter!

It seems old to me, but nothing wrong with it. However, my parents were grandparents in their early 40s, so that is probably why it seems old to me.

I can’t see any issue with this.

I'm not sure why your DD would care you're over 60?
It's not like she wants you out clubbing with her every weekend! At that age I'm not sure she even wants her mum to meet her friends whatever age you are!

I mean if it bothers you maybe it was something to consider when you were 42? Not a lot you or she can do about it now 🤷🏼‍♀️

Her boyfriend's mum is 41.

Don't be daft op. I'm 60 this year dd is 21 so a little older. Tbh I look and act a lot younger than a lot of regular mums around here who are much younger. It means nothing really. I'm aware that it's likely I'll miss out on a fair bit of dds life as I didn't have her until I was 38 but why dwell on sonething that just is the way it is. Are you close to your dd,? Does she have issues with your age?

There's age, and then there's biological age. As well as 'you're as young as you feel' age.

It's a problem only if you make it one.

So boyfriend's mum decided to have children at a younger age than you. People make different choices.

Well DS1 is 20 and I'm 45 and we've had a horrific evening with him . I'm now thinking I was way too young and naive to raise him properly so having DC young is as complex as having DC older. Parenting is just hard and guilt inducing no matter what the age difference.

?

I was the child in this situation with my dad being the older parent and I really didn't enjoy it growing up. He was mid-60s when I was early 20s, so similar age gap.

Apart from being bullied about it at school, I also had to deal with the feeling of dread thinking about parent's mortality, care needs etc much earlier than my peers.

I'm aware this makes me unreasonable - people can lose parents or have to deal with care at any age. I'm 30 now so maybe it's more common for the current cohort of children which might mean there is less bullying. It's just something I wished desperately to change growing up.

For goodness sake, accept life as it is; and focus your energy on matters you can actually influence.

Are you close to your dd,?

We're very close. Laugh a lot and can talk about anything.

Does she have issues with your age?

She's too kind and thoughtful to say anything if she did.

Actually, a few years ago, she said something about "feeling too young to have parents your age."

🤔

You can’t exactly change it now so just move on.

I don't see a problem. I know someone who is 57 and just had twins so hers will be 4 when she's 61 so I think you're fine

What?! Sorry but that’s ridiculous

At 57? Wow.

Not much you can do about it OP. As long as you’re in good health and play an active role in her life, that’s all that matters!

Surely you contemplated that at the time?
I appreciate having a baby in your early 40,s can sometimes mean you will elderly parents,at a younger age then most but it depends on circumstances surely. ?

I would assume twins conceived at 57 are probably not conceived naturally whereas a child conceived at 41 /42 probably is it might be at the latter end of normal but not unheard of.

I'm from the older generation. My mother was 33 when I was born. When I was at school my mother was by far one of the oldest of the mothers amongst the children in my year. When I had my son at 34 I was the just about the oldest of the mothers in his school year.
Nowadays I hear it is quite common for women not to have their first child until 40 or there abouts. The norm, when I was growing up, for mothers to be very young is past.
What does age matter? If you love your child and do your best for them. That is what matters.