To think it's not right that DD(19) has a 61 year old mum

[LornaDuh]

Don't know why it's just hit me at 10.45 on a Saturday night in June.

Just feels weird that a girl not yet out of her teens has a mum over 60!

I'll be 62 when my youngest is 20. Is it great? No. Can I change it? No.

I'm struggling to believe this is actually true, surely it would be all over the news??

Plus you surely can see that's a problem?!

I'll be 43 when ds is 19.

22 isn’t ludicrous! I was 22 when I had my kid and it was a perfect age. I’d wanted a baby for years, I was so ready for her. The best thing was how easy postpartum recovery was, so there’s loads of benefits to giving birth at 22

I know someone who had triplets at 42,so probably the same age you had your DD. I don't think she has ever seen her age as a problem. She is in her 70s now and DC approaching 30. She is still fit and healthy and very close to all of them and involved in their lives.

And? I'm sorry but I genuinely can't see the problem.

You and boyfriend's are two different women who chose to have children at different ages.

I was born when my DM was 37, so not a massively different age gap to yours, back when 37 was considered quite an advanced age for childbirth. DM is now a sprightly 75 yo and I can say hand on heart the age gap has never been an issue.

My mum got married at 24, had me at 27, and my brother at 32. She had "geriatric mother" stamped on her antenatal notes 😪

It does sound extremely unusual!

A friend of mine is 64 with a 19 yr old. She's fit and sprightly and works full time.
Ok, she doesn't look young (but she looks good) but her personality is "young". She's great and has a brilliant relationship with her daughter.
It's not uncommon.

You can't change it..it's not a problem x

It is crazy when you compare ages, I'm
37 and my mum is only just 60, but that's just life, I had mine young so it it's mental comparing my kids to my parents. Life would be boring if we all followed the same path. Pros and cons, whatever path is yours.

I'm 56, DD1 is 37 so God willing I'm going to see her well into her 50s. I had DD2 when I was 33. It does sadden me that I'm less likely to see her grow older and not have the energy to be as involved a grandparent to her children as I am to my two GC born to DD1

I'm 63 and my son is 22. Conceived unexpectedly (without help) after 17yrs ttc. Age has never been an issue, we don't look or behave 'old', we just are who we are. DH is 71 and they still do lots of sports/activities together and have a great relationship.

Today one of my nieces was 40, my sister is 60. My oldest nephew is 42 his mum is 57. Age doesn't have to mean a thing if your relationship is good.

It happens. At least she’s practically an adult!

I’m the daughter in this situation. I’ve had periods of wishing my parents were a decade younger but overall I’ve been lucky that they are both approaching 80 so I have had the benefit of time with them. I’ve had friends who have lost their parents at a much younger age than you are now: you can’t always control the hand you’re dealt but you’ll have already outlived many.

At 19 I had no issue with my parents being a bit older (although did as a younger teenager) but I felt it more when I had my own children and I see the difference as my in-laws are a decade younger. I’m also very aware it will be hard to help them if their health does deteriorate to the point of needing care as my children are still at an age where their needs are high.

We had our kids later for lots of reasons, mainly lack of support so we knew we were doing it all alone and also took us longer ttc than anticipated.

As a result though, we were well established financially by the time we had our first and I was able to be a stay at home mum. It made a huge difference to me and we had a bigger family than we otherwise would have because there’s no way I could have managed the juggle of work and childcare.

There are good and bad points to having children younger and older, it’s not all bad.

That did strike me as worryingly old till I realized I’ll be 60 when youngest DC is 19!

I had DD2 aged 42. She's only 2 now, so the whole idea of us being 19/61 is theoretical right now, I can't really picture myself in my 60s, or her being a teenager!

I do feel sad that I won't be around for her as I could have been. I think I did have a cutoff for ttc by 40, but when it didn't happen I kept stretching the cutoff until it did! It's not uncommon to be an older mum around here (affluent part of London) so I don't think she'll feel embarrassed or I'll get mistaken for her gran. But realistically age is not just a number and my fitness and health will decline when she's still a fairly young adult.

There is no point pondering what you can not change.

The main issue I see in people I know in their early sixties with teenagers, is they usually can not retire early, and have to work longer than they might have otherwise.

I'll be 54 when my daughter is 19, it's really no big deal

When my youngest turns 18 ill be 54. My parents became grandparents at 57 and 58.

I really hope I won't be a grandparent at 57 or 58 as my oldest will only be 25. But then my mum had me at 25.

My mum’s mum was 61 when mum was 19 so
it’s not exactly a new thing.

My DD’s dad (my ex) will be 70 when she’s 19. TBF he is now in his 60s and pretty much phones in his parenting during the limited time he has the kids, so if you’re an engaged parent with a good relationship I think you’re doing just fine.

I'm 47 and have a 1 year old. I am slim, go to the gym 3 days a week and am way more experienced in life than I was in my 20s, way more settled and secure.