To think it's not right that DD(19) has a 61 year old mum

[LornaDuh]

Don't know why it's just hit me at 10.45 on a Saturday night in June.

Just feels weird that a girl not yet out of her teens has a mum over 60!

My mum had me at 43 and she’s still alive and kicking and I’m in my 30s . Age doesn’t mean a thing.

😂

I'm not unusual amongst DD's friends. Most are in their 50s. And unlike many on MN, I had no problem parenting a teen in my 50s. DD was a breeze.

My oldest is 19 and I am 47. When my youngest is 19 I will be 60…so there are all ages of mum…

For what it's worth - my mother was 40 when I was born, my dad 42. He made jokes all the time when I was growing up about being old, about attending my uni graduation in a wheelchair. He didn't make it; he died when I was 19 and in my second year of undergraduate school. Not because he was old - he was 59 - but because he died.

My mother never said anything about feeling old to me, nothing about feeling old in relation to me - even when she was dying (at 89; I was 49) and was telling me everything she wanted me to know. Which makes me think she really never thought much about it. The only thing she did say is that she knew that people thought she was old at 40+ to have a baby, and she said OK, but her experience from having four other children made up for what she might lack in energy or innovation.

I dunno, just live the life you're in. Maybe take extra care about planning your estate if you think your daughter will be young to deal with it.

My own mum was 41 when I was born. My dad however was 50 and I think that's too old. One of my brothers is late 40s and starting to think he now wants to settle down and have kids-with no relationship on the horizon as yet. Had to bite my tongue not to say "I think that ship has sailed" but praying he wasn't actually serious anyway. I lost my dad early so I'm no fan of older parents but early 40s to me is fine.

Eh! I'm 61. My ds is doing his gcses. Doesn't bother either of us.

It doesn't matter at all.

My youngest will be 22 when I am 60. And occasionally I have omg I will be proper old and then I remind myself of my group of friends who span 30-60s and I calm down.

I think it's the 60 year old from my childhood that gives me the wobble. 60 year old women in the 80s were old women who wore head scarves, had blue rinse etc.

Seems old to me but can’t see a problem with it.

My own mum isn’t even that age yet and I’m in my 30s but she had me at 18 although she was already married. I prefer it that way as hopefully she will be in my life longer but my husbands parents are in their mid 60s and he’s only a couple years older then me.

Iv also got kids so they get to know their grandparents for longer too.

i think women in their 60s/70s now act and seem a lot younger then when I was a child. My own nan was old before her time.

This. My mum was 44 when she had me. It caused us both a certain amount of negative emotions of various sorts when I was a child and she was widowed (my dad died when I was 16), physically frail and due to dementia not aware of who I was by the time I went to university at 20.

Not a thing could be done about any of it. You and your dd seem to be in a much better situation, enjoy everything you can together.

Different because a “man,” but my ex husband is now 55 and has 3 under 5.

No one batted an eyelid when George (then 56) and Amal (then 39) Clooney had twins.

Um... my DS was born in 2003 when I was 40. My DD was born in 2000. I'm definitely not an old lady! 😂

It is what it is. I’ll have a 16yo at 60. I hope she’ll still be my biggest fan when we get there. Wouldn’t change a thing. And it’s best not to think too hard about it

One of my school mates was a grandma before I'd even had my bub.
We both ended up having one son, and feeling blessed for it. I'm sure she'd say lots of things would've be better if she'd been ten years older, like I know lots would be easier if I'd been ten years younger. But, as others have said, it is what it is, and gratitude is a happier attitude than what if, if onlys.
Edit: forgot to mention, OP, I was same age as you when I had my child.

She was 22 ( if boyfriend the same age). That's hardly a ludicrously young age.

This.

My mum wore a head scarf & support stockings at 60. Had already checked in to an old person's life.

I'm 61 and ran parkrun this morning before ds was awake, work full time, cycle with my son. Lives are totally different now.

When my eldest was 19 I was 36. But when my youngest will be 19 I'll be 59. I've also got grandchildren that are older than my youngest 🙈😂

My mum was 38 and dad pushing 50 when I was born in the early 60s. I was very aware of them being much older than my friends’ parents. Dad was retired by the time I was at secondary school. He died when I was 17. I wasn’t able to have children (not for want of trying) so at least I wasn’t in the “care sandwich” when my mum developed dementia, but I could have been if I’d had a surprise pregnancy in my mid/late 40s which seems common on MN!

22 is young. No one in my family or friendship circle had children at that age.

Well they might not have done. Whereas where I grew up many people had a couple of kids by that age. I had one myself. It's much different to having one at 14 which could be considered ludicrously young

I think having kids later in life is fine. I’m in that category. I had DD at 40. I love being a mum and happy to have had DD when I was ready.

The only con I would say is that my parents and in-laws are too old to help with DD. They enjoy being grandparents but only as guests not helping with any day to day stuff. Our siblings are self-absorbed and all but one have no children by choice, and are happy to see DD but no further interest or interactions. DD will never be spoiled by aunties or uncles.

I’ll be 57 when DS is 19. I know I’ve been a better mum having been older.

You have to remember that people are much younger now at 60 plus! General health has improved massively and its still very much a working age.

My parents were 36 and 37 when I was born in the late 70s. They already had one child. I think they were amongst the oldest parents of my friends, although they themselves had friends whose third (surprise) baby arrived when the wife was 45.

I think I was bothered as a child by the fact my parents were a decade or so older than most people I knew. But it wasn’t my parents who died young - it was my sibling, a child of 10.

My mum died suddenly in her early 70s. So I was the only one in my acquaintance group to have lost my mother at that age. And still am, now in my mid 40s. Everyone else I know at my age seems to still have their mum. I suspect that’s probably not representative of the general population though.

But even if my mum had lived until she was 100, it would still not have been enough time for me. I don’t wish she’d had me younger - I wouldn’t have swapped the mum I had for anyone, and we would both have been different people had she had me at 25.

Hardly speaks for the whole world does it. I know loads of people who had kids that young.

You need to start a whole new thread with this one!