To resign over a wedding?

[dancingrainbows]

It seems a bit crazy, but I work as a teacher.

A close relative has decided to get married on a Monday and I work Mondays. My school does not allow time off (even unpaid) for events like this at all, it just isn’t permitted.

My options are

1. Lie - my worry with this is that if I am ‘caught’ the repercussions are serious.
2. Resign. If I handed my notice in now I could leave at Christmas.

i don’t actually think I’d have a problem getting a new teaching job but I am currently part time and don’t want to lose this - it’s rare PT posts are advertised - and also getting settled in again somewhere is a pain. It’s a WWYD really. By the way I know not all schools are as inflexible as my current one but it really is.

Do not resign. It's crazy. If someone did that for me it would ruin my wedding. I would feel so bad.

Is it possible that the wedding was arranged for a Monday so that fewer people would be able to come, thus saving the couple a lot of money?

If you are above M4 (including UPS) then you may find the jobs market very limited if looking for another.

No it was arranged for a Monday because venue hire etc is much cheaper on weekdays and they wanted a wedding they couldn’t afford.

Tuesdays are cheap too!

Agree with every word of this ☝️

It would be ridiculous to resign, for a wedding.
It's one day. The bride and groom don't really care if they have booked it for a Monday. Most people would probably need to use two days leave to attend.

You can ask to swap working days. Apart from that there's nothing you can do.
Anyone who thinks otherwise is clueless.
It's not like teachers don't get enough holidays already!
(I'm a teacher)

Just been to a wedding on a Sunday and didn't drink because I felt it inappropriate to ask for time off/ use PPA. (Close family member)
And wouldn't want to turn up to work stinking of booze and hungover.

I do think it's a bit rubbish of your school though if it is a sister/ brother / parent.

I’ve been a part time teacher for many years and have always found that if I do something to help the school e.g. change my day to accommodate training or take children on a trip/ activity that’s not on my normal day and for which they may be struggling to find enough cover they are happy to offer it back in time off in lieu. I often present it to management as a way of saving money and facilitating something that may not otherwise go ahead. I’ve even done extra time so that they appreciate my efforts and are happy to accommodate any requests I make. Saving them money always ticks a few boxes.

It's a wedding. Nice to be there, absolutely. Would I lose a job over it or quit? Absolutely not.

A friend is in a similar position and is going after work - driving 3 hours - and will make it for the party.

You don't give up a job for a wedding.

This! This is the only possible answer. Everything else is ridiculously irresponsible.

What a lot of people are struggling even more with is that these are the terms of your job...... 😂 I mean, I don't even get 6 weeks off through a whole year let alone have 6 weeks off in the Summer (plus the rest) like you do, but that's my job.

Teach, then

They might not be qualified to!

As someone who very recently left the profession with no job to go to (luckily now in alternative employment), my personal opinion is that the wedding itself is not at all the problem.

You have clearly been feeling put off the school for a while to even consider this idea. No one considers making themselves jobless if they are not at the end of their tolerance for what they have to deal with.

As you have said yourself, you do not actually need to make a decision until October. Spend the next few months investigating your other options.

Ultimately, having a job that is so inflexible is actually what your issue is. Even if you resolve the wedding issue by not going, there will always be the next problem this lack of flexibility will present.

the wedding itself is not at all the problem

> The wedding is just an excuse.

the problem actually is

Suggest that to help rhem out you are happy to resign and reapply for your job wkth a prebooked day's leave

See if a colleague will swap the day before you act all irrational and resign over a wedding. This is your career you are prepared to forsake for one day. If the person arranging the wedding knows you well, they will also know that your employer isn't given to giving you days off lightly. Yet, they still arranged it for a day you work. Don't worry about what other people say, it's not their job at risk. Anyone close to you would understand the difficulties you have arranging time off. If they don't, they're not worth the sacrifice of resigning. That goes for close family too.

You can't just swap a day in secondary. Timetabling doesn't work like that

I know. It's been said a few times already.

And yet it keeps being suggested by posters

True. I think if people don't work in schools it's difficult to understand the issues involved.

I wouldn't resign a job because someone put a wedding in a time they would know you would find difficult- I would assume my presence wasn't really wanted

As a former head. Please don't do this. Never go with an ultimatum. It will not go in your favour

My DH now does supply at £310 a day. He sets his own rate and invoices.

What is your suggestion for OP to do then?