To resign over a wedding?

[dancingrainbows]

It seems a bit crazy, but I work as a teacher.

A close relative has decided to get married on a Monday and I work Mondays. My school does not allow time off (even unpaid) for events like this at all, it just isn’t permitted.

My options are

1. Lie - my worry with this is that if I am ‘caught’ the repercussions are serious.
2. Resign. If I handed my notice in now I could leave at Christmas.

i don’t actually think I’d have a problem getting a new teaching job but I am currently part time and don’t want to lose this - it’s rare PT posts are advertised - and also getting settled in again somewhere is a pain. It’s a WWYD really. By the way I know not all schools are as inflexible as my current one but it really is.

Just to make the point that you really can't walk into a school and dictate terms. There is a shortage, but budgets are cut to the bone, so they increase class sizes, get rid of TAs, cut GCSEs etc rather than pay for teachers.

With pay portability gone and budgets as they are there's no guarantee you'd match your present salary, let alone get the part time hours.

I'd see if the person you job share with could cover the day for you. If they can then I'd get my union involved. It's like for like and wouldn't cause any disruption to the children.

I think that these points have been addressed a few times. It does not appear to be a job share.
The union can do nothing about this.

I hear this a lot but it’s never held true for me personally.

Vomiting and diarrhea Sunday. 48 hours off is mandatory. If they find out about the wedding then you were going to just go in the evening but went to the ceremony too as school wouldn't let you in so close to throwing up.

They can call bullshit but if it's your first incident of suspicious time off then they can't do much.

Could you request unpaid parental leave?
In theory they can’t refuse.
https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave

I’d not give a job up over this. What if they split up? Major family illness and they postpone? - if you were a major factor on the must have list they’d have chosen a day you weren’t working

Because all the people who you invited, who are already forking out for gift/ outfit/ travel/ booze are also now obliged to use an annual leave day/ take an unpaid day off/ lose a day’s earnings if self employed. It’s basically saying you don’t give a fuck about your guests. Just save a bit longer

Not sure if it’s because I grew up with two teachers for parents but I thought everyone knew that teachers can’t take time off in term time. We’ve had family funerals that our parents couldn’t attend as they weren’t allowed.

Don't go to the wedding. When people get married on weekdays, they have to acccept that some people will not be able to attend their wedding. Especially teachers!!

How would you explain the gap on your CV and reason for leaving your job?

Went to a wedding?

Thought about this more and I still maintain option 4 is the way forward. Don't go to the wedding. If there's going to be tension for you not going then they should have chosen a day you weren't working. They didn't. So you're not on the essential to attend list. BUT...I'd also start looking for another school.

What biting sarcasm and wit

Morning, OP. What do you think you want to do?
Has any of the advice been helpful?

I haven’t been able to keep up with the posts to be honest. A lot are just repeating points anyway.

As I said, I’m not doing anything hasty. Largely I’ll see how it goes - I have until the end of October to make a decision so no rush.

When I worked in education we applied to governors for time off, unpaid if necessary. I can remember having time off to take my son to university interviews for example, paid leave. I'm surprised they refuse time off for hospital appointments, is that even legal!?! - what's the union view on that! You could offer to pay for a day's supply, the head would snatch your hand off, keep the money (not personally) and get other teachers to cover! Midweek weddings are increasing in popularity as much cheaper than weekends.

I think it would be highly unusual nowadays for a teacher in the state sector to be given paid leave to take a son or daughter to a university interview. It is very difficult to get any time off at all.

What about those teachers who have to cover? Giving up a non contact to take someone else's class because they're at a wedding?

I resigned over a wedding. Years ago, Wedding was on a Friday, I had booked it as holiday with my employer, I was a live in Nanny, had arranged after-school childcare. As would do school drop off before travelling home for the 2pm Wedding. On the Monday,, the Mother said she'd changed her mind & was cancelling my day off, no reason, just now didn't suit her, to be honest she liked a power trip & I'd seen her pull this sort of stunt with other staff. They were Americans, living in UK & don't think they quite understood, that UK is quite different to US re holidays etc. she was v surprised when I said Unlucky I'm going, it's been booked for 12 months. I went to the wedding. Packed my stuff & never returned. Had a nice couple of weeks holiday & then started new job. I felt sorry for the kids, they were great, but they hardly saw their parents & had been raised by hired help all their lives.

If you are thinking of "going sick" do not under any circumstances mention the wedding to anyone before or after the event.

Plenty of time to look at other jobs.

There are also non school based teaching jobs worth looking at. I'm an advisory teacher now so I work 3 days but plan my own calendar. This means I can change which days I work on any week if needed and free myself up for all sorts.

I'd recommend looking at that kind of job personally. I've never missed anything I wanted to do, including all my children's assemblies and plays, since I started this job.

Can you swap your non working days for next year so you have Mondays off instead?

I think the OP would be happy with unpaid leave.

Quite. However, you often can't get that. At all.