To make my husband sleep outside.

[FarawayFlower]

My husband frequently goes out after work for drinks with his colleagues, boss and the senior leaders at his work. He has a very well paid and respected job, and claims that city culture (London) very much promotes this aspect of his work. I do not have a problem with this, and I do know that much of the networking within his field does come from staying out for drinks and dinner after work.

HOWEVER, my husband never, ever takes a key to our home out with him! He asks me to leave the back door unlocked, which I do not feel comfortable doing as we have three small children, one of which is a baby. Even if it was just me in the house, I would not want to leave it unlocked. My flat was burgled a few years before I met my husband and this has made me even more vigilant about security. I do not understand why he cannot just take a key with him. The last few times he has come home, he has woken me (and probably the neighbours) up by ringing the door bell, calling my phone, knocking on the door. This is all after midnight.

He has just messaged me to say he is on his way home and to leave the back door unlocked. I have told him that if he does not have a key, he will need to sleep on the sofa in the outbuilding as I am not leaving the door unlocked, neither am I prepared to be woken up in the middle of the night to let him in!!

He’s now got really shitty with me telling me I am being unreasonable. Am I?

Excellent!

Or get a secure key safe and keep the key in there. We have one and it's extremely handy if we forget our keys, family can get in, trusted tradespeople. You screw it to a wall somewhere discrete, ours is in our always open porch, tucked out of site

Good outcome then,OP !

Read the title - YABU.
Then read the post - YANBU.

Tell him he's invalidated the house insurance by leaving the door unlocked.

He is being a dick.

Why exactly does he not take a key?

Is it to control you?

Could you suggest putting the door key into his wallet ?

What a strange reply. A grown man who refuses to carry a key and has no issue leaving a door unlocked late at night with his kids there would be a big issue for me.

He should be able to work out where he's going to keep the key he's getting cut today all by himself.

Missing the point here but the city has changed a lot and there is no longer a culture of “come out drinking or be fired”. People still go drinking with friends and colleagues but no different to anywhere else in the country in any type of job.

I just wanted to say that so this socialising isn’t seen as a must but a want.

We have a key safe in the porch. We live in a very safe, low-crime place and used to just leave a key hidden in the porch. One day I thought how ridiculous it was because if anything did happen we’d have no claim on insurance or anything! Now we have a key safe and it doesn’t matter if anyone has forgotten their key.

@FarawayFlower that's a result. I hope you got some sleep.

Quite, him being able to manage a Big Job and all. And if a key safe is really the best idea, I feel if he put his high powered strategic mind to it, he could source one and get it installed. The ops only responsibility here is to lock her door for safety and turn off her phone to protect her sleep.

Does he know, or care, that your house/contents insurance could be invalidated and claim refused if the house was not properly secured? Eg: unlocked doors, windows? 🌹

And? That was then, this is now and his ridiculous stubbornness his causing the woman he's supposed to love annoyance.

There’s something really unattractive about a grown man who is unable to remember to keep a house key on his person.

I've known a few men who do this - refuse to take a key and insist the wife is home and awake/available to let him in or that she leaves a door unlocked even when it's scary for her - as a control strategy.

Bellends, the lot of them.

Key safe.

We kept a spare key in there in case anyone (mostly the teenagers) lost one.

Glad to hear he is getting another key cut though.

key box outside with pass code. Simple

Just get a key box? He's a twat but sounds like he won't change

Can't you get a key safe?

Fgs. How many 'get a key safe' posts are we going to get on this thread

The OP updated some time ago. From 12.25 onward, as it happens.

RTFT or at least the OPs posts before posting. Simple.

Get a key safe.

Also, key safes are very UNsafe. I saw my DP get one off a wall in about 10 seconds with a hammer and chisel. Then he took it inside and played around with it and opened in inside a minute. (For the neighbours, who had managed to do a massive fuck-up of key losses and what's-the-code-oh-we've run-out-of-tries memory loss.) I think they got theirs from Argos.

Well done, OP!

I’m quoting your reply to help people see it and stop repeating the nonsense about getting a key safe to save a grown man taking his key when he’s out.

Great result though - shows what can happen when you put your foot down and people can see there are consequences for being inconsiderate.

I was actually wondering about the safety of them too @AutumnCrow I can imagine a burglar would have necessary tools to dismantle them fairly quick!