To make my husband sleep outside.

[FarawayFlower]

My husband frequently goes out after work for drinks with his colleagues, boss and the senior leaders at his work. He has a very well paid and respected job, and claims that city culture (London) very much promotes this aspect of his work. I do not have a problem with this, and I do know that much of the networking within his field does come from staying out for drinks and dinner after work.

HOWEVER, my husband never, ever takes a key to our home out with him! He asks me to leave the back door unlocked, which I do not feel comfortable doing as we have three small children, one of which is a baby. Even if it was just me in the house, I would not want to leave it unlocked. My flat was burgled a few years before I met my husband and this has made me even more vigilant about security. I do not understand why he cannot just take a key with him. The last few times he has come home, he has woken me (and probably the neighbours) up by ringing the door bell, calling my phone, knocking on the door. This is all after midnight.

He has just messaged me to say he is on his way home and to leave the back door unlocked. I have told him that if he does not have a key, he will need to sleep on the sofa in the outbuilding as I am not leaving the door unlocked, neither am I prepared to be woken up in the middle of the night to let him in!!

He’s now got really shitty with me telling me I am being unreasonable. Am I?

Really? Yes he's BU, however to help you, could there be a private spot for a spare key? We take keys out with us but also have a spare in a secret place just in case. Oh and you make this at the bottom of a plant pot which needs to be dug out lol 😆

Get a key safe, best of both worlds, then if he's had too much to drink to remember the combination that's on him and he sleeps outside!

If he continues to refuse to take a key then how about a key safe?

Why not get one of those electronic locks with keypad? My A & U can unlock their front door with an app on their mobiles..

Very strange. Why not just take a key? He sounds selfish.

If he is that worried about losing one, buy a key safe. That way you can lock the back door, but he has access to a key (and doesn’t have to take one out).

Just leave key hidden in the garden.
I wouldn't be keen on him out drinking and socialising late at night whilst u and baby at home. It might be the 'done thing" to get ahead at work...but it sounds like putting himself in way of temptation.

Get a key safe

I just changed my regular deadbolt and doorknob with one that I can use a key, fingerprint, code or app to enter or lock. Loving it. Just another alternative.

Can you not invest in a key safe and only put a key in it on occasions like this. If you know he needs it you put it in but if not leave it empty

Brilliant

Get one of these. Job done.
MASTER LOCK Key Safe Wall Mounted, Medium 85 x 119 x 36 mm, Outdoor, Mounting Kit, for Home Office Industries Vehicles, Black & Silver https://amzn.eu/d/gxwd5Rd

He wants a house in London kept unlocked with you and kids inside because he can't be bothered to carry/use a key? Really? I mean, seriously?? In the Smoke? If I employed him I'd be very concerned about his judgement. Danger to you and DC, no insurance cover, arrogance.........

BTW a locksmith told me that key safes are not all that secure.

Can family members talk some sense into him?

Yanbu at all, it's arrogant to think yourself above carrying keys and letting someone else worry about it. And his behaviour after midnight is awful.

As an aside, most blokes I know would love those alternative arrangements.

You know it's possible to point out someone's an idiot without engaging the clichéd aibu bullshit about how you'd love to be a hardass employer overstepping all boundaries. This is about OP's husband being a dick to her, not you role-playing as his boss.

Point taken. I was just thinking if his judgement in this matter was so off, what's he like in other matters, including work? Of course the important things here are his attitude to wife and kids and their safety.

I worked in the city, and whilst there is a culture of late night drinking it’s optional not compulsory. He’s a grown up he should have his own key. Pathetic!

Very good point. Also, how is carrying a key in the slightest bit inconvenient that he can’t do it? They take up bugger all space and surely in his important job he wears an important suit with important pockets?!
yanbu

This. I don't see why you've not done this earlier or at the very least, gone more basic and left a key under a plant pot or something equally easy.

Selfish git! But if he doesn't like taking a key with him, how about hiding a key somewhere in the front garden or somewhere safe that thieves wouldn't find? We always have an emergency key hidden in a safe place (not under the mat.....😁)

This. Perfect solution.

My husband never locks the door whether he's going out or going to bed. He doesn't have a house key so I sympathise.

Has anyone suggested a key safe yet? 🙄🙄

Instead of insisting a grown man taking responsibility for himself, and for his family's safety, ya know like adults are supposed to do.

What is it with people making this kind of shit the womans problem to solve by providing a man who cant be arsed, with a work around? Whats the betting that if the OP did indeed "solve" the problem with said key safe, she would be dealing with early hours phone calls and him banging on the door because he cant be arsed to remember the code?

What about changing the lock to a key code one?

I can't tell what's supposed to be 'satire' on this thread any more.

Get a key safe box, costs about £20 then no excuse for him to wake everyone up.