To make my husband sleep outside.

[FarawayFlower]

My husband frequently goes out after work for drinks with his colleagues, boss and the senior leaders at his work. He has a very well paid and respected job, and claims that city culture (London) very much promotes this aspect of his work. I do not have a problem with this, and I do know that much of the networking within his field does come from staying out for drinks and dinner after work.

HOWEVER, my husband never, ever takes a key to our home out with him! He asks me to leave the back door unlocked, which I do not feel comfortable doing as we have three small children, one of which is a baby. Even if it was just me in the house, I would not want to leave it unlocked. My flat was burgled a few years before I met my husband and this has made me even more vigilant about security. I do not understand why he cannot just take a key with him. The last few times he has come home, he has woken me (and probably the neighbours) up by ringing the door bell, calling my phone, knocking on the door. This is all after midnight.

He has just messaged me to say he is on his way home and to leave the back door unlocked. I have told him that if he does not have a key, he will need to sleep on the sofa in the outbuilding as I am not leaving the door unlocked, neither am I prepared to be woken up in the middle of the night to let him in!!

He’s now got really shitty with me telling me I am being unreasonable. Am I?

Get him a key on a string Roy Cropper style, no key, no come in. Stupid manchild.

Fuck no! Not unreasonable. Even butlers aren’t on shift 24/7. You are entitled to sleep. Sleep deprivation is considered a form of torture by the United Nations. He can fuck right off.

That's quite annoying but I never take keys anywhere! Don't think I know where any are. The front door is always open if anyone is out, so I get the fact it's something some people are used to. But waking you up isn't on obviously.

This is some peoples life, such a safe place. But then move to a different area you change and don't justify leaving your door open when you have babies to protect just because that's how you were brought up

That is crazy expecting you to leave it unlocked our door is always locked around here I can't imagine leaving it unlocked would feel very unsafe anyone could just walk in. We have a key safe which is so useful as husband always forgetting keys

This is great advice. He sounds like a total ape.

Get a smart lock.

I mean, I know you shouldn’t have to but it solves the immediate problem.

Socialising may be part of his job but keeping a key in your pocket is part of being an adult.

You are not his skivvy. You set your boundaries, keep to them.

An outdoor key safe would be a practical solution but not if he likes valet service.

Just get a key safe for next time?

He's being a controlling jerk.

If there's an out house he could sleep in can you hide a key in there for him to use when he gets back late?

Get one of those thumb print locks

Absolutely not. A night in the out building might help him to take a key

Stand up for yourself op! He is not respecting your safety or need for sleep!

Put a key under a flowerpot or whatever. It's not that hard !

Although I agree he should take a key, maybe a compromise could be getting one of those key boxes that are accessed with a pin number like you get with rented holiday cottages. You could fix it up in the outbuilding you mention so its not too obvious and only put a key in when he's out.

What good will that do he doesn’t have any keys anyway so he’s already locked out 😂😂

Big job in the City and can't (won't) manage a simple housekey 😂😂

I'm guessing it's one of these.

Key boxes only work if you put the key back in after. I wonder who's job it will be to put the key back? Can't he wear a key on a lanyard?

He is unbelievably selfish. What a twat. How fucking hard is it to carry a key?! You’re not asking him to carry an anvil.

Copied from 'Compare the Market', with respect to what can invalidate an insurance policy.

"

Not keeping your home secure

Insurance providers may not pay out for a burglary claim if there are no signs of forced entry at your home. Leaving windows or doors open or unlocked, or hiding keys near the front door, could mean part or all of your claim is not paid.
And be accurate when you describe yourdoor and window lockss*. When you claim, loss adjusters are likely to check they match what you told your provider.
"

Don't know how they work but you can install locks which work off your phone or thumb print. All sounds a bit James Bond but we viewed a house once and the estate agent was very excited to show us the locking system. I would leave a key out in the garden tonight but when things are calmer in the morning insist he arranges something different for future. Doesn't sound like he respects you if he can't appreciate your need for security and sense of safety.

How difficult is it to take a door key with you. So selfish of him to expect you to stay awake.

I’ve been burgled and it was terrifying (was in the house when it happened), there’s not a chance I’d leave my door unlocked. I’m sure that would affect, possibly invalidate, any insurance claim should anything happen?

Get him a dog tag style chain and he can wear his key around his neck.

It would really get to me though. He's literally putting his needs way above yours.