First date - is this not a bit weird of him??

[Lilifer]

I joined an old fashioned dating agency a month ago and was sent a match last week. The way it works is that if you like the look of the profile of the guy you let the agency know, and they then contact the man to let him know to contact you, and they give him your number,

So far so good, man, let's call him John rang me on Tuesday to see if I would like to meet up. I suggested we meet up in a city that's half way between us both, (we both live rurally) initially I suggested coffee but he said he would like to go for lunch so I said that's fine, pick a restaurant and let me know which one and I'll see you there at 2pm Saturday.

I waited to hear back which restaurant he was choosing. Yesterday he messaged me to ask where I would be parking so that he could choose a place that's within walking distance of where I parked. (Which I thought was considerate of him.) I told him where I was parking and heard nothing back until just now when he messaged me to say that if it's ok, he'll contact me at 2-ish tomorrow to let me know where he is.

Aibu to find that bizarre and more than a little annoying? He's had 3 days to figure out a restaurant, it's not that hard to settle on a place. And we were meant to be meeting at 2 so what's with the "I'll message you at 2ish" about?? So I'm meant to drive an hour to get to the city , and park and then wait to be given my instructions ... 🤨 I'm a bit unimpressed to be honest.

He did say a couple days ago when we chatted on phone that as he lives rurally an hour from this city he's not too familiar with the restaurants but we all know how to google these days, it's not that hard.

I just think it's weird. I was already a bit nervous of this date as it's my first time getting out there since my divorce and now this has kind of thrown me and I don't know what to respond to him .. can anyone advise?

@DappledThings

I feel exasperated

Have you noticed the user name?

Maybe it is an instruction to herself

Is this the only drama in your life? 🙄

It is no drama at all. It is possible to be temporarily exasperated with a thread for the few minutes a day one is engaging with it without that being a "drama" or anything that takes up more than a fraction of time.

Same as checking the date of an OP and using the function to skim just the OP's posts. Takes seconds.

@Katthedog he gave his height as 5ft 9 on his profile when in reality he's only about 5ft 7 max. I don't mind if someone is the same height as me (5ft9) but two inches shorter I'm not as comfortable but having said that if we really clicked then I would probably not mind it, but we didn't click to that extent.

Regards his work pattern no this was not on his profile and not disclosed to me (I don't know if agency were aware of it)but again that would not put me off if we otherwise got on really well.

To all other posters who posted advice late, I do appreciate your taking the time to advise me but I do find it odd that you would take the time to post without checking the date of the original post or the updates, I get that people don't have time to read the full 18 pages or whatever but I posted in a Friday for the next day, over a week ago.

What hate mail? Someone saying you've been a bit daft by posting and not taking 2 seconds to check the date is hardly hate mail. Nor is it causing "distress" as per your later post. I think you're trying to sound like you've had a much bigger impact that you actually have.

It's not just about you. A mind-boggling number of people have failed to read this whole thread and kept popping up all week with 'advice' on what the OP should do, when it was actually all resolved on the first day. Nine whole days ago.

For future reference, if you really can't be bothered to rtft, a quick peruse of it in backwards date order should reveal all.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I haven't no, I think it will be a few weeks before another match is offered to me, they don't have huge amounts of men on the books and not everyone wants to meet a mother of 5 let's face it, albeit they're grown up now but still, so slim pickings 😅

I'm not surprised

It would certainly be a ready made step family though lol.

Are you referring to my username? If so yes, it is an instruction to myself, I have brain cancer.

I am very sorry I did not read all the posts, I got the email on Saturday and as I have a brain disease I find it difficult to follow threads. I just wanted to let you know I was concerned about you. Again, I'm very sorry.

@Engagebrain there is no need to apologise x

May I just add that I also got the MN weekly emails on Saturday 22nd (so two days ago) with yours on top.

So I see how people will click in respond and assume it’s a new thread without noticing the original post date.

Not quite sure why MN send the thread out so late but that’s probably a reason why so many people are responding after the fact. Hope it helps.

I myself am nosy and like to get all the goss so I click on see all OP posts to know the latest before commenting but not everyone is aware/will do that.

Thanks @Rorymyers - how does the e mails thing work, does it e mail you about threads you're watching or have posted on previously?

Hmm. Yes I think it's odd. Don't let yourself be manoeuvred into meeting anywhere other than a safe public place.
It sounds like he's both trying too hard (he wants to find a nice place to meet you) and trying to look casual about it. I think there's a risk that he won't show. And you need to go in with the mindset "I'm going to treat myself to a nice lunch and then enjoy browsing..." (insert your fav shops / gallery / or whatever seems like a fun activity).
Good luck!

My husband, were he to date, might do this, intend to book something really good and then not book anything out of fear of getting it wrong. Whilst I understand it is a bit annoying I reckon on its own not a red flag (my DH is pretty alright bar the dithering and its been 20 years).
Definitely agree you should send that email though and make him know it needs to be sorted in advance. Good luck.

Even if the post came late, you can still see the date of the post and click 'read all' on the bottom of OP's posts. This shows all updates from OP.

Honestly 🙄

Because it might help you in future, or help other people in the same position. Plus it's an opinion/talk forum :)

You’re welcome.

I have just checked my settings and I have ‘web notifications’ on so I get an email frequently with a summary of trending threads and topics.

yes it will email you about threads you’re watching and have posted on if these are on in your settings as well :)

Must mean your feminine wiles are telling you, that you already don't like the sound of him and want someone to say, you're right, you should dump him/tell him he's already fired, as a potential boyfriend. He failed the test to impress🤔😬🤪😂. Sounds a bit dodgy to me anyway. But you could give him a try anyway, just to confirm your suspicions.... he starts more awkward business or says annoying stuff etc etc. On the other hand he might merely be like Frank Spencer from the 70s show, he just couldn't help himself, there was no malintent etc. What to do, it's a dilemma.

It IS a dilemma, if only we could predict what happens!!

FYI the thread is over two weeks old!