First date - is this not a bit weird of him??

[Lilifer]

I joined an old fashioned dating agency a month ago and was sent a match last week. The way it works is that if you like the look of the profile of the guy you let the agency know, and they then contact the man to let him know to contact you, and they give him your number,

So far so good, man, let's call him John rang me on Tuesday to see if I would like to meet up. I suggested we meet up in a city that's half way between us both, (we both live rurally) initially I suggested coffee but he said he would like to go for lunch so I said that's fine, pick a restaurant and let me know which one and I'll see you there at 2pm Saturday.

I waited to hear back which restaurant he was choosing. Yesterday he messaged me to ask where I would be parking so that he could choose a place that's within walking distance of where I parked. (Which I thought was considerate of him.) I told him where I was parking and heard nothing back until just now when he messaged me to say that if it's ok, he'll contact me at 2-ish tomorrow to let me know where he is.

Aibu to find that bizarre and more than a little annoying? He's had 3 days to figure out a restaurant, it's not that hard to settle on a place. And we were meant to be meeting at 2 so what's with the "I'll message you at 2ish" about?? So I'm meant to drive an hour to get to the city , and park and then wait to be given my instructions ... 🤨 I'm a bit unimpressed to be honest.

He did say a couple days ago when we chatted on phone that as he lives rurally an hour from this city he's not too familiar with the restaurants but we all know how to google these days, it's not that hard.

I just think it's weird. I was already a bit nervous of this date as it's my first time getting out there since my divorce and now this has kind of thrown me and I don't know what to respond to him .. can anyone advise?

Thank you @Lilifer appreciate if you message the name in case they operate in the UK too. Been searching for an agency based on mumsnet reccos but most people seem to not have had a great experience with any. Not sure how expensive this is but worth a shot since I don't have the time to sit and sift through the chaff that OLD throws up
I will drop you a pm as well if that's easier to reply to.

@Internationalpony ah thanks! I've had some great advice on it, but also the late replies and responses to those have been hilarious!

Re his job, without saying too much, he's a consultant engineer of sorts who project manages large scale infrastructure projects abroad.

i suppose with only 4 quality meets, how do they define quality?

as someone who lives far away, plus works 50% of the time abroad, plus is shorter than you doesn't sound quality as such. Just "qualified" - ie has confirmed the details provided are factual, isn't married, fincially checked maybe?

i am sure he is lovely, but it sounds like a lot of things most people would rule out ahead of time. Unless you said you were open to all of that?

It's not an NI thing no, it tends to be for Interims, Consultants and Contractors who do project work or ad hoc work etc. Lots of different industries require this.

The people may work the rest of the year doing other things, or not as money tends to be good enough that working half the year is still a very good income. Or some people do lots of this type of work then retire early etc.

@burnoutbabe I told them I was open to people within quite a large distance range because I do live quite rurally, an hour from nearest city, so am quite prepared to travel to meet people and I travel a lot anyway because of where I live so I am used to that.

Fabulous hotel!!! Is it adult only do you know?

Also going to take a look at that matching site you mentioned because between my ex (also NI funnily) did a right number on me but I have learned a lot about what I will never tolerate again so this paid site might work for me.

Do you see a pic before you meet? Knowing my luck I will be paired with the gobshite I just got rid of.

I met with my BFF who worked for the agency in Kensington today.
I asked her what she advised.

No compromise.

Short men are taller standing on their wallets! (she went out with a famous retailer)

Genorosty and kindness is key.

We can aways make new friends,

I watched a episode of come dine with me last week. Set in northern Ireland. All three guys were nice. Much more polite than the English. They fight like hell on these programmes.
Find a match by all means but smile frequently and see what it brings. I get picked up daily and I'm late fifties and a big ish girl.

I don't think it's adults only no

I've used a dating agency before, and it sounds like a reasonable match to me, he was a professional, interesting, well-mannered man- you didn't have a spark with him but that's something you can't control for, but if you had, he would have been perfect in many ways.

Those saying- well just send taller/men who work in great jobs but only half the year near you/men who want to stand you to afternoon tea- there aren't an infinite supply of these. That's the whole thing- you have to compromise on a few things because there aren't 100's of men who match your exact criteria and then also want to date you as they also prefer people of a certain age/body type/profession/geographic area.

This becomes evident when you go on OLD- 80% of the men are unsuitable for most, and the 20% good ones are being chased by 80% of the women.

They found you a nice date, there was no spark, you often have to date quite a lot to get a match IMO. I don't think they did anything wrong, and you have more security knowing he was already checked by them and pre-screened for things like telling the truth about his job/bank account (I'm guessing they check these for members).

Yes kindness and generosity v important.

I also notice how men treat waiting staff when out with you. I can't be doing with me that talk down to or are rude to waiters or shop staff

with men that should say

@WayOutOfLine I totally agree, I've no complaints, they're doing what they contracted to do, and can't control for the "spark" factor, that's in the lap of the Gods.

I won't tell you how many dates I went on before I found my husband, let's just say it was at least 10! My friend met someone on date 2. It's so unpredictable!

Read the post!

Looking forward to it. So glad you had a good time.

Don't forget to ask for parking advice eon your next sojourn. 😄😉

@Nanaof1 oh I will 😂😂

😂😂at "...the Gobshite I just got rid of"

Gobshite is such a wonderful word!

It really is @Lilifer it conveys so much with so little 😆

If you look up the word in the dictionary it has my exes name beside it.

😂😂😂 - good you're rid of him so

So glad to hear gobshite - why’d I stop saying that 😆 this is a great thread

I'd ask why he can't tell me, before I set off, where he'll be. It is a bit odd

The date was last week.

I would be wary of this! Park somewhere else and ask to meet at a restaurant. If he doesn’t go with that, I wouldn’t go. If you have an initial niggle, trust your instincts!