First date - is this not a bit weird of him??

[Lilifer]

I joined an old fashioned dating agency a month ago and was sent a match last week. The way it works is that if you like the look of the profile of the guy you let the agency know, and they then contact the man to let him know to contact you, and they give him your number,

So far so good, man, let's call him John rang me on Tuesday to see if I would like to meet up. I suggested we meet up in a city that's half way between us both, (we both live rurally) initially I suggested coffee but he said he would like to go for lunch so I said that's fine, pick a restaurant and let me know which one and I'll see you there at 2pm Saturday.

I waited to hear back which restaurant he was choosing. Yesterday he messaged me to ask where I would be parking so that he could choose a place that's within walking distance of where I parked. (Which I thought was considerate of him.) I told him where I was parking and heard nothing back until just now when he messaged me to say that if it's ok, he'll contact me at 2-ish tomorrow to let me know where he is.

Aibu to find that bizarre and more than a little annoying? He's had 3 days to figure out a restaurant, it's not that hard to settle on a place. And we were meant to be meeting at 2 so what's with the "I'll message you at 2ish" about?? So I'm meant to drive an hour to get to the city , and park and then wait to be given my instructions ... 🤨 I'm a bit unimpressed to be honest.

He did say a couple days ago when we chatted on phone that as he lives rurally an hour from this city he's not too familiar with the restaurants but we all know how to google these days, it's not that hard.

I just think it's weird. I was already a bit nervous of this date as it's my first time getting out there since my divorce and now this has kind of thrown me and I don't know what to respond to him .. can anyone advise?

The parking query is weird. You just need to know the restaurant and you can figure out the parking. Seems like he wants to scope you before you get to round 2. Not good.

The date was last week.

And so it goes on 🤣🤣🤣

I recommend you google to find a restaurant that you fancy the sound of in that area, then WhatsApp him the details telling him you will meet him there

Why does he need to tell you where he is and why doesn't he want meet you at the agreed time.
It seems to me that he wants to check you out before actually meeting you
He's sounds a narcissist who wants to be in control, forget him and move on.

First meeting do a coffee meet up. Lunch takes time and you might be put off at first sight!! Have a phone chat for further details intel etc. Good luck.

The date was last week!

I'd say call me at 1 to confirm all is still good to go because surely you should be together at 2.

All the advice about booking somewhere yourself, parking elsewhere, etc is perfectly sound, except:

His response is not normal. If you see a red flag before you’ve even met, don’t ignore it.

You’ll find someone who is capable of booking a restaurant and committing to a time

He might not be so good at this sort of thing, which could be a good sign. It’s a first date, keep an open mind.

Hi @Lilifer , glad he got his act together, sorry he didn't light your candle.

Have you 'interviewed' any others since then?

I mean, if it's not ok, tell him. I'm.sure he wouldn't be offended, just explain why it's inconvenient

I wouldn't touch him with a barge-pole. This looks like controlling behaviour. He's testing you to see if you're a people-pleaser.

Don't go this sounds totally off the wall. Why won't he say the restaurant he will be in. All sounds Fishy just dont go block his number.

The thing I enjoy about threads like this is that because we already know the outcome it's interesting to see how certain the people who haven't read the thread are with their opinions.

Avoid avoid avoid.

Some people overthink the simplest things, stop overthinking and over analysing it. It’s meant to be a time where you should be relaxed, laid back and quite informal.

its no wonder many men are put off dating given some of the responses…

I would avoid, wanting to know where you are parking seems a bit sus, controlling, preserve your anonymity, esp w children. To all single mums, ask to see id and then ask social services to run his name for sex offences. Do this to protect your child.

Lol.

I wouldn't drive an hour to somewhere in the hope that someone messages. But OP said she didn't mind going there anyway so it didn't matter so much. She was right to get a plan decided on.

The thing I enjoy about threads like this is that because we already know the outcome it's interesting to see how certain the people who haven't read the thread are with their opinions.

Well, it did turn out he didn't float OP's boat.

What? This is completely bonkers.

she already said she was in a massive car park and he didn’t know what car she drove and he had no chance of finding her. Read the thread…

I think just be upfront, if this was a non date situation and you were meeting a complete stranger would you honestly meet them
in a car park , it’s the sort of thing drug dealers do !! It’s also really not particularly not creating something special on the first meet up, it is supposed to be a date after all. Ask if he has booked something or not . If he responds saying he is struggling to find something that looks good and that’s why he hasn’t booked then at least he sounds like he is making an effort but is perhaps unsure of himself so work out together where to go, or if he responds saying he hasn’t had time to look so is leaving it up what he finds on the day then bin him off he’s lazy. I have dated a lot on line and honestly this stuff matters. My partner now would never leave me uncertain like that and he knows how to book a nice place which is part of why I feel so safe and comfortable with him .

Just bumping this to make sure OP isn't short of advice ahead of her date last week.

I hadn’t thought of this. It’s worrisome. Maybe don’t meet up with him at all or until you’ve talked to the agency about him

Nar, he's fine OP. Based on my detailed reading of this situation, I sugget he will turn out to be a nice man who will book afternoon tea in a posh hotel after suggesting a bit of a walk round the market together. And you'll have a very pleasant tea, eat lots of lovely cake (and take a doggy bag home) and enjoy the conversation. Unfortunately you won't have any spark but you'll retain a good memory of the experience and the next date may well be "the one".

I should add that my experience in predicting things that happened a week ago has 100% success rate.