First date - is this not a bit weird of him??

[Lilifer]

I joined an old fashioned dating agency a month ago and was sent a match last week. The way it works is that if you like the look of the profile of the guy you let the agency know, and they then contact the man to let him know to contact you, and they give him your number,

So far so good, man, let's call him John rang me on Tuesday to see if I would like to meet up. I suggested we meet up in a city that's half way between us both, (we both live rurally) initially I suggested coffee but he said he would like to go for lunch so I said that's fine, pick a restaurant and let me know which one and I'll see you there at 2pm Saturday.

I waited to hear back which restaurant he was choosing. Yesterday he messaged me to ask where I would be parking so that he could choose a place that's within walking distance of where I parked. (Which I thought was considerate of him.) I told him where I was parking and heard nothing back until just now when he messaged me to say that if it's ok, he'll contact me at 2-ish tomorrow to let me know where he is.

Aibu to find that bizarre and more than a little annoying? He's had 3 days to figure out a restaurant, it's not that hard to settle on a place. And we were meant to be meeting at 2 so what's with the "I'll message you at 2ish" about?? So I'm meant to drive an hour to get to the city , and park and then wait to be given my instructions ... 🤨 I'm a bit unimpressed to be honest.

He did say a couple days ago when we chatted on phone that as he lives rurally an hour from this city he's not too familiar with the restaurants but we all know how to google these days, it's not that hard.

I just think it's weird. I was already a bit nervous of this date as it's my first time getting out there since my divorce and now this has kind of thrown me and I don't know what to respond to him .. can anyone advise?

It sounds like he's controlling by not selecting a place, especially since he suggested lunch instead of coffee. A first date is like a job interview -- you have to look honest, be approachable, be kind, be considerate and know the tasks at hand. This guy failed.

I hope you canceled and asked to be set up with more men!

RTFT

😂😂😂

No!

But this is all about you, your convenience and your preferences. If you have suggested lunch with someone you have never met, who is doubtless also nervous and is also travelling some distance to meet you, it is courteous to make firm plans and stick to them. If having changed the arrangement to lunch and then being to busy to make plans for the arrangement you suggested why would anyone want to drive and make the effort to meet you? It’s either rude or inconsiderate and neither makes a great first impression

Lol. Bit late love.

A different angle but some expensive agencies have a much lower male membership to female. Sometimes men have their expenses etc covered. This may not be the case here but the afternoon tea booked by a male for a first date brought back memories (sorry - don’t mean to sound se*ist).

I wasn’t the female but I became involved to bring a court claim for misrepresentation.

The agency in my experience did have some level of success but not what it claimed.

The OP is very savvy so she will be fine and she has shown she can keep herself safe. I’m very pro the concept.

🤣👍

Yes that's weird. He is either disorganised or suspicious so leave it. Just message him to ssy he didn't get his shit tigether in time and you are not interested.

I once went on a date with a man in a pub, and parked quite far from the pub entrance. Had a great time chatting in the pub. He seemed like a gentleman. I usually didn't have a good opinion of ex army men but he seemed nice. It was getting dark when leaving, so walked back with him to my car. Then it started getting weird, as he tried grabbing me to go behind the cars. I don't know if he was thick and thought I would be up to doing things in a car park, but I managed to jump in my car and drive away quick.

I totally agree - I mean, it’s important to have some standards.

Maybe send the agency this video and ask them to only refer men who meet the standards described herein.

lnlw where you’re coming from but change it up otherwise you’re going to be heading into the date with some irritability. it’s a bit of a distance for you both to go to, and you both want to have a nice time. Let him know you’re happy to split the bill and that wherever you go is fine for you. Reassure him, give him the benefit of the doubt. Let him know if you’re vegetarian etc in case tho. Say why don’t we meet for a drink / coffee at a place you’ve chosen and then say we could head to eat something after. Tbh this also gives the get out for if the date is really bad you can just leave.

I think this is my favourite thread
It's the gift that keeps on giving.

IT WAS A WEEK AGO. RTFT
IT WAS A WEEK AGO. RTFT
IT WAS A WEEK AGO. RTFT
IT WAS A WEEK AGO. RTFT
IT WAS A WEEK AGO. RTFT
IT
WAS
A
WEEK
AGO
RTFT

Does this website not have a feature for the OP to close their own thread? If so, it needs one.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@Abab11 @Vodkamummy @Dontgetdebtpet and so many others. Why on earth do you post if you haven’t read the thread??!!

Many, many years ago I had a brief interaction with a dating agency ... one of those with an office and real people! I'd fairly recently split up with my partner of many years (at my own instigation, because he wanted to get married and I had more sense. We're still friends, and he's currently divorcing Wife #3) and I just fancied dating some men I didn't already know.

It was hilarious! I met #1 in a wine bar near Waterloo. He spent the entire time I was there (less than 20 minutes) ogling other women, so I went to the loo and out of the back door. #2 was a lovely man, who told me that he'd met someone else he was very keen on but as our date had already been set up, he hadn't wanted to cancel. I thought that was the politest (probably untrue) brush-off ever and liked him for his kindness.

I went back to the agency to Have A Word and they said they had found The Perfect Man for Me! They told me all about him (he sounded like fun) then showed me his photo. It was my ex-.

Ooh @Gonners , that is so funny and weird.

People who can't make plans and bookings in advance despite advances in phone and internet technology and just have a vague wishy washy "we'll organise this by text" are really annoying IMO, and it's very lazy thinking when it's for a first date! What if one or other of you has phone trouble, for example? Totally wasted journey for both. This would personally give me 'the ick' but others may not mind as much.

@PyramidsOfMarsBar read the thread !!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I am roaring at this still going on!

How long is too long to dispense dating advice? Discuss.

Clearly not a week, maybe a month, a year? When does dispensing amazing advice become less satisfying than reading the f-ing thread?

Good grief there is a hell of a lot of negativity on here. I agree with BPR's final sentence.

Some of the comments are going well beyond cautious and verging on the poisonous. I was just glad to hear that the OP enjoyed the date and that he didn't turn out to be an axe murderer. Perhaps a case of what a lovely man, just not my man?

99.9% of people are good, men and women. Don't assume the worst of people as the bitterness will poison you in the end. Life is too short already.