Colleague has sent me a dick pic

[Iambetteroffsingle]

Well not a completely full-frontal one, he is clothed on it but it's a picture of his 'hard-on'. (Sorry this is TMI)

I vaguely knew of him before and we went on a team-building weekend activity as a group. Got on well, stayed in touch a bit over the last week via text, just talking about work and holidays mainly.
There's been no flirting or innuendos of any sort, then I opened my phone to this.
The man is 41 FFS.
He's put a caption in the picture talking about his 'tan' but I'm not stupid, I know what a lot of men are like.

If this were out of work I'd block straightaway, but I feel so awkward with working together. We aren't in the same team but have mutual friends. I just don't know what to do.

I was slightly interested before and would've been open to a date or something similar but this has shown me what he thinks of me.

This! He's relying on you not doing anything, OP. And if you don't want to do anything other than block him that is absolutely fine.

Men like him know exactly what they are doing. Disgusting pig.

I'd ask him what you're looking at, as it could be explained as shorts from what you're saying. Let him explain in his own words then go to HR.

so if you don’t won’t to raise a complaint just deal directly message to say your offend and to avoid any future incidents your blocked

Ah excellent, creepy middle aged man trying to groom younger women in his workplace.

100% he has done this before and is working through his boundary-eroding routine with you.

He will likely turn nasty if you stand up to him so keep the evidence and consider being the one to report to HR before he has a chance to start.

We had one in one of my workplaces, he used the same lines, targeted younger women he perceived to be more vulnerable or who had less work power than him and turned very nasty and made their lives hell at work if they didn't go along with his sexual grooming.

It's incredibly unlikely this is the first time he's done this. Please don't worry about his career. He's obviously not thinking about that, is he? If he was, he wouldn't be sending photos like that.

Report it to HR. Say you would have dealt with it yourself, but you are doing it in case others have reported it too. Don't respond at all to the photo. Don't discuss it with him and if you can, don't mention it to others there as if they hear you're considering reporting it, it'll get back to him.

I wouldn't reply and would report to HR. If it affects his career that is as a result of his extremely poor and creepy decision making.

You are not the one jeaporising his career by reporting this. He is the one jeaporising his career by sensing inappropriate and unasked for pictures of his erection to you.

Report this soon to be ex colleague and you don't have a problem.

It's one thing to maybe flirt or ask you on a date.

It's a MASSIVE overstep to send you a dick pic.

If anyone asks tell them the truth what's happened.

This is so not ok it's untrue.

I would message him to say, 'the image you sent is inappropriate, I am blocking you. Please keep any communication with me related to work only'. I would flag this to HR/your manager and say that your belief is that it is sexual harassment. It's helpful for them to have a record of it even if you don't take it forward as he may be pestering others.

Ewww grim, 41yr old creeping on young women.

Presumably you have an HR department if there was a team building exercise?

Report this to HR if so.

Take it to your manager if no HR dept.

Agree with pp
Firstly don't forward it to anyone
Secondly do not respond to him other than perhaps to say " inappropriate "
Thirdly : report to Hr . This is harassment and you don't need to tolerate this in the workplace

You have done nothing wrong, he is a creep and deserves whatever action the company I see fit to take

Personally - and I’m not suggesting this is what you would do - you should do what you are comfortable with - I would probably tell him it was inappropriate and that in future he is only to speak to me about work matters.

IF he then backed off I wouldn’t go to HR. Any more fuckery and I would. I’d also screenshot/save the conversation.

Pull him aside, tell him it's inappropriate and he is not to talk to you again unless it is essential or at work, otherwise you'll send it to HR.

To those who are saying it's not a dick pic, would you be happy with a 13 year old daughter being sent a picture of a hard on under fabric?

He has already jeopardised his own career, and my guess is since he didn't send a naked picture he's done this before, got reprimanded, and is playing safe this time. He also tried buttering you up with texts as a means of discrediting any future report you make.

Report him before he gets promoted and you find yourself dealing with him as your manager.

If you don't report, any future harassment or unwanted physical approach will not be as credible as it should be.

He has done this before, I guarantee it, and he is laughing at you.

Thanks for helping me everyone.

No, do not do this!

It would be seen as a threat or blackmail.

And any conversations on this matter need to be strictly on record. No private conversations that could be denied or misrepresented.

The only sensible thing to do is report him to HR asap, OP, and avoid any further communication with this pervert.

Do you have an “all@“ email address at work ?

Well, send it there.

Our company has an anonymous Hr suggestions box. It's maniky used by people to whinge about minor things such as the cost of coffee capsules but it has been used to tell hr about some racist comments that were overheard and some bullying behaviour. Do you have anything like that you can use?

Exactly.

It could also start him sabotaging the op.

He could spread fake gossip about her.

She needs to have it recorded etc before he does anything.

There’s a lot of good advice but also some very poor advice on here. Sexual harassment is unwelcome sexual behaviour that could make a person feel offended, humiliated or intimidated. To be sexual harassment, it has to be reasonable to expect that there is a possibility that the person being harassed would be offended, humiliated or intimidated by the behaviour. This means that whether behaviour is sexual harassment depends on how a reasonable person would interpret the behaviour in that situation.

A close up picture of an erection would quite clearly make an average person in a workplace feel intimidated or humiliated. It’s irrelevant whether he intended it to be sexual harassment or just a photo of him in shorts. That wasn’t what was achieved.

It also doesn’t need to occur in the workplace for it to be workplace harassment. If it happened during work hours then this would be sufficient in many court cases. I would expect HR would be very interested in knowing that he did this to a colleague regardless of when or where though.

Please don’t respond with laughing emojis. This may provide implicit approval which would embolden him and may stop similar behaviour from him toward you from being sexual harassment. Please also don’t forward the image to colleagues. If he’s sexually harassing you by sending the photo then you’re doing the same by sending it on (even if that wasn’t your intention). Others could easily be offended by the photo. He may also claim workplace bullying if responses to the photo were to be humorous. You don’t want to take the risk of also doing something wrong.

the best answer is to report him. His career should be changed because he is clearly not an appropriate person for a senior role with his current behaviour. HR need to know this. It’s also important to protect other women in the workplace. Don’t be concerned for his future. He certainly wasn’t worried when he sent the photo. If you don’t feel you can report then reply stating that you found the image to be offensive and highly inappropriate and then block. Don’t banter and be very clear about how inappropriate the image was.

good luck

Some really stupid suggestions like emailing it to all and pulling him aside privately to speak to him. Are the people saying this actually adults with careers?

To hell with his career, if he wants a career then HE should not send pictures like this to colleagues. Report him immediately. This would be gross misconduct where I work.