Colleague has sent me a dick pic

[Iambetteroffsingle]

Well not a completely full-frontal one, he is clothed on it but it's a picture of his 'hard-on'. (Sorry this is TMI)

I vaguely knew of him before and we went on a team-building weekend activity as a group. Got on well, stayed in touch a bit over the last week via text, just talking about work and holidays mainly.
There's been no flirting or innuendos of any sort, then I opened my phone to this.
The man is 41 FFS.
He's put a caption in the picture talking about his 'tan' but I'm not stupid, I know what a lot of men are like.

If this were out of work I'd block straightaway, but I feel so awkward with working together. We aren't in the same team but have mutual friends. I just don't know what to do.

I was slightly interested before and would've been open to a date or something similar but this has shown me what he thinks of me.

I wouldn't respond to him, I would go straight to HR He shouldnt be sending pics like that, he's gone way over the line and sending a laughing emoji would just encourage him more.

It's sexual harrasment.

Do not engage in banter with him. Absolutely do not.

Another one saying block and report. And I am HR.

I would wonder how many other maybe more vulnerable female colleagues he is harassing, this should go to HR, no way will it be the first time.

He jeopardised his own career when he sexually harassed you. He should have been more careful, fine if you started actually dating and we're a couple of that's what you are into, not ok for a new work colleague. Do what you would do if he stood next to you in the office and showed you.

If you leave, mention to HR in your exit interview.

I am 33.
He told me that he'd 'thought I was 25' 🙄
I agree the laughing emoji was a bad idea, just thought it would humiliate him and shut him down.

URGH! Report him. Bleurgh.

What do you mean he is fully clothed but it is a picture of his 'hard on'?

Fully clothed but erect under the clothes?

Even if you did flirt, even if you did show interest, OP, you’re allowed to! You would have done nothing wrong. That doesn’t warrant an unsolicited dick pic. Don’t take ownership of his bad behaviour. You’ve done nothing wrong here. And reporting is totally the correct thing to do, difficult as this is. Or at least call him on his unethical conduct if you don’t report.

So many of us have leaky borders and weak boundaries. It took me a lifetime to learn how to plug my leaky borders and really set boundaries. Give yourself a gift! Every woman should do some therapy work on boundary setting because the world is clogged with men constantly pushing the limits. It’s the best thing I’ve done in years! It’s liberating and I’m no longer dogged by guilt for setting healthy boundaries for myself.

This. How dare he intimidate female colleagues like this.

That's right yeah. Picture of his erection under his shorts

Dunno if that makes it any better or worse?

This is the one time you really need a mansplainer on a thread.

I would LOVE to know what goes through their minds when they do this.

To a WORK colleague. Totally unsolicited. My mind boggles.

Why on earth would anyone think this is a good idea?! 🙆🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

dont send anything back that could be constrewed as a postive response

Strangely enough the mansplainers never seem to want to give women an insight into thought processes like this.

Funny, that ...

Block and report. This is completely unacceptable, and he deserves everything he gets.

if you don’t like your current job, report to HR and take a couple of days off for the stress.

hes 100 percent flashing you intentionally. you really need to report as this man sexually harasses women and work need to know so they can support other staff members

if they continue to employ him and he harasses you again- record, report and pursue

You won't be jeopardising his career he has already done that himself.
I'd be asking myself how I would feel if I said nothing and he went on to sexual harass another woman because I stayed silent (which he will expect you to do)

Please do not forward the pic!! It's illegal and he could turn it round on you. Or the police could..

Don’t.Blame.You, ok?

You responded with a laughing emoji. You were doing what so many women do when we feel unsure, uncomfortable, inept at dealing with the sudden shift in parameters. You probably felt like you suddenly couldn’t read the dynamic between you two, a dynamic you thought you had understood. It takes a minute for weird shit to land. You kept it ‘lite’. It’s a normal response and it takes a while for the ‘Wait a minute! What the fuck?’ to land. It’s landed! Don’t be hard on yourself. He’s the one in the wrong.

100% report him. That’s very low of him

Don't reply at all ffs, just block.

I think that would be very unprofessional and disrespectful of yourself.

Either deal with it formally (HR) or shut it down professionally.

You must have an HR partner, find out who it is for your business area, or who the HR is that deals with employee relations. Put some time in their diary and discuss it in person, show them the picture or screen shot. Tell them you feel uncomfortable, you dont know how to handle it. That you want them to know because you dont think its appropriate, he may have a history of inappropriate behaviour with female colleagues.