Colleague has sent me a dick pic

[Iambetteroffsingle]

Well not a completely full-frontal one, he is clothed on it but it's a picture of his 'hard-on'. (Sorry this is TMI)

I vaguely knew of him before and we went on a team-building weekend activity as a group. Got on well, stayed in touch a bit over the last week via text, just talking about work and holidays mainly.
There's been no flirting or innuendos of any sort, then I opened my phone to this.
The man is 41 FFS.
He's put a caption in the picture talking about his 'tan' but I'm not stupid, I know what a lot of men are like.

If this were out of work I'd block straightaway, but I feel so awkward with working together. We aren't in the same team but have mutual friends. I just don't know what to do.

I was slightly interested before and would've been open to a date or something similar but this has shown me what he thinks of me.

Do you work in the police op?

Just eurgh what a creep.

I'd block. Or just reply nope, bye.

Definitely don’t send the laughing emoji. It may backfire if things ever escalate and be used as evidence you were happy/not offended

Straight to HR with that one. He is counting on you not wanting to do anything due to your embarrassment. He's a sodding adult and should know that his actions have consequences. Possibly losing his job is one of those consequences.

Oh sorry! I (mis)understood that you’d already sent the emoji. Yeah, definitely hold off on that.

Report...if he's going to do this, what if he's staying away from the office with a female colleague in a hotel...sorry but I'm a bloke and would never send such a pic to my colleagues

It doesn't make it better or worse it just doesn't make it a 'dick pic'. So when you report it to HR I'd report 'an inappropriate photograph of a colleagues erection under his clothes,' rather than a 'dick pic'. N

Please dont reply any laughing emojis, give any smart quips are play into any reply. Just block or completely ignore.
It's your choice whether to report to HR. I think I would.
If you don't, you could make it known amongst the other women at work that this has happened out of solidarity and he's probably done it before so it could embolden someone else to report him. Disgraceful man.

@Pootles34

its not a dick pic though.

It's a bloke in shorts. You're all getting OTT & you haven't even seen the photo. They're discussing holidays & tans. Calm
down

I work in HR and this would absolutely be a disciplinary matter in my organisation. Also while you may be confident in laughing it off he may be also doing this to younger more vulnerable staff too. I would report this

It's a close up of his erection

So an obviously aroused penis does not constitute sexual harassment?

I don't think it's a "dick pic" if he's fully clothed. Completely inappropriate though, there's no doubt about that!

TBH, I'd just block him.

If you are chatting about non work stuff outside of the work environment, is it really something for HR?

Also I did not say 'show me your tan' or anything to that effect whatsoever.

That's immature

report and block him. There's no other sensible response.

Yes

I'd say "You've gone too far with that. I don't want to talk to you any more" Then if he persists you will have shown you were clear that it was unwanted if you need to take it further.

I'm going to start by saying there are absolutely no circumstances where I think being sent an unsolicited dick pic is OK. If someone requests one, fine (WHY?!?!??!)

However, you said you would have been open to a date which does suggest that you had been flirting or at least making your interest known. Which for me makes if feel like not an HR issue. Others disagree, and fair enough if you want to go down that route. But you said he is asking about his tan. So is there a group chat you could share it on and asks others 'what do you think about Bob's tan?'

2 wrongs don't make a right and all that, but I bet it would stop him doing stupid shit like that again! And he can't really complain to HR when he sent it to you in the first place!

What the actual fuck. I work for such nice bloats I can't imagine any of them behaving like this. Ive forgotten how vile man can be.
He's 41 for fucks sake. Not that that makes it any better if he was younger but it's near to flashing an actual person you know ina professional space. You 100% must tell HR. Men need to be called out on this sort of shite or else it escalates.

Blokes not bloats!

Do you send unsolicited pictures of yourself in a flimsy top with erect nipples? No! Because you know it’s completely inappropriate. Report him, he’ll do it again. What is it in some men’s brains that makes them think women want to be sent this sort of crap!! The only way they will stop is if it’s raised officially. He has created this situation, not you.

It's important that you do raise this in work. Don't worry about his career, that's for him to deal with. And he will be dealt with. Mysogeny, sexual harassment, inappropriate behaviour, disrespectful and also a reputational risk to the business. He's a risk full stop.

He's made you feel uncomfortable, anxious and worried about working with him. Don't you worry for one minute about the consequences of his actions. He made his choice here.

To the person who said 'there must have been some flirting going on'- NO! No compliments, no innuendo, joking but no flirting. No.

This is how men like that operate. Rely on women feeling 'awkward' and not wanting to cause a fuss then even having sympathy for them at the thought of repercussions. It's fucking bullshit.

Even more reason to report this!

In a way I’d be tempted to say “presume that was sent in error”, but then that just gives him an out. Maybe there is a way of wording it more clearly. “I can’t believe you meant to send that to me. Ugh.”