Colleague has sent me a dick pic

[Iambetteroffsingle]

Well not a completely full-frontal one, he is clothed on it but it's a picture of his 'hard-on'. (Sorry this is TMI)

I vaguely knew of him before and we went on a team-building weekend activity as a group. Got on well, stayed in touch a bit over the last week via text, just talking about work and holidays mainly.
There's been no flirting or innuendos of any sort, then I opened my phone to this.
The man is 41 FFS.
He's put a caption in the picture talking about his 'tan' but I'm not stupid, I know what a lot of men are like.

If this were out of work I'd block straightaway, but I feel so awkward with working together. We aren't in the same team but have mutual friends. I just don't know what to do.

I was slightly interested before and would've been open to a date or something similar but this has shown me what he thinks of me.

If anything, I’d send the ‘puke’ emoji, and then block.

Just ignore it and don't engage again.

He will get the message and probably be shitting it thinking you could potentially go to HR.

I suffered sexual harassment like this in the work place at 18 and didn’t want to report it! Some older women in the company (20s/30s) all told me he’d done it to all of them too. At 18, in my first real job and absolutely terrified I wish wish wish one of those older women had reported it!

Please do, this was all his own doing and he deserves to be hauled up in front of HR and get told that this is wrong, because there will absolutely be other women after you if not- if he can do it so casually he clearly has zero boundaries and respect. Sadly that probably also shows it’s not the first time and he’s clearly comfortable and thinks it will get him somewhere 😫. So sorry this happened to you!

This is the why men continue to behave this way though, as women allow them to get away with it. It’s totally unacceptable / it is his fault, not yours if it jeopardises his job / not a good excuse not to do anything about it because “he goes to drinks too”. He’ll just move on to another woman. You have a chance to ensure he isn’t so stupid as to do this again.

"Why the hell did you send this to me?!" msg to him & refer it to HR & blank & block him after that. What a pillock.

Reply with the button mushroom emoji, then screenshot and report to HR.
This behaviour needs calling out ever time.

I'd say lovely tan, but would rather not see your body again please as only interested in friendship.

He’s the one who is going to look like an idiot. It’s made you really uncomfortable. Either tell him straight or tell HR. I’m o,d I’d tell him straight to his face.

Sod not wanting to ruin his career. What he's done is a criminal offence - he's the one responsible for any career ruination, not you.

I'd screenshot and go to HR and the police.

Men like this are only going to stop doing this if there are consequences.

At 41, this is not his first rodeo. He will have done it multiple times before. I am a great believer in being direct. I would tell him that you were disgusted and you don't want him to email you again unless it is essential for a work matter. Tell him that you want to have as little as possible to do with him in future and you expect him to absent himself from your unit's work drinks. If he cannot agree to this, you will be forwarding the whole thread to HR. I wouldn't feel the slightest bit bad about his career being affected because I think he has been at it for years. This is a middle aged man who has such a complete lack of judgment that he thinks it is appropriate to send a colleague a picture of him in his tiny shorts with an erection!

Take a screenshot and go straight to HR. Don't reply or respond to him; doing so could be seen - potentially - as encouragement. Obviously this is sexual harassment and gross misconduct. Revolting behaviour and totally unprofessional. Ugh!

Make an appointment to speak to someone in HR on Monday morning. Don't forward the picture. Is he in a position to influence your career negatively in future? I would be concerned that if you don't reply but also don't report, he may attempt to harm your career at a later date if he's worried you have something on him.

He jeopardised his own career by sending that to you. He is testing out your boundaries.

Absolutely report this, it may be a one off or he could have done this a number of times and everyone just puts up with his bad behaviour. What message does it send if you don't act? If this is accepted will his behaviour escalate in the future? Perhaps not with you but with someone else. If you have a new job there is nothing to loose. Screenshot it and show your manager or HR. At what point should his career be impacted? When he sends ten pictures or fifty or when his behaviour escalates? Because if this is ok what else will he try to get away with?

I don’t understand, why is he talking about his tan if all it is is his penis? That makes no sense.

Imagine if this was sent to a 22 year old new hire and he was their boss?

He needs to be reported and reprimanded.

Honestly OP you need to report this.

I'm assuming you are in your 30s if he is 41?

This IS sexual harassment. He will be doing this to other people. Duick pic aside he is a misogynist. Please help protect the other women around you.

Are you currently in CS? I would hate to think this guy has access to people's personal information and depending on role/department vulnerable people's information! He will also have broken the CS code so regardless of if it was sent in work time or not it will be taken seriously.

Report to HR.

And he's counting on that being the case.

Why are men so thick? To even try it with the tan mark thing thinking it’s so slick it’s pathetic.

Don't send a laughing emoji FFS! Block and report him - if it impacts his career, that's entirely on him. Jesus Christ, what a fucking creep.

Why would you get a reputation as a troublemaker? Your colleague has brought this entirely on himself.
His career is not your problem. .

In your shoes I'd respond with 'that's wholly inappropriate, send me anything else like this and I'm taking it straight to hr. Don't contact me again, unless it's strictly work related.

I'd also keep the message so he can't decide to take offence at your lack of interest and start to make things difficult for you at work. You've warned him so anything else inappropriate, even in conversation would see me going straight to hr.

I would just leave it on read and never talk to him again