Colleague has sent me a dick pic

[Iambetteroffsingle]

Well not a completely full-frontal one, he is clothed on it but it's a picture of his 'hard-on'. (Sorry this is TMI)

I vaguely knew of him before and we went on a team-building weekend activity as a group. Got on well, stayed in touch a bit over the last week via text, just talking about work and holidays mainly.
There's been no flirting or innuendos of any sort, then I opened my phone to this.
The man is 41 FFS.
He's put a caption in the picture talking about his 'tan' but I'm not stupid, I know what a lot of men are like.

If this were out of work I'd block straightaway, but I feel so awkward with working together. We aren't in the same team but have mutual friends. I just don't know what to do.

I was slightly interested before and would've been open to a date or something similar but this has shown me what he thinks of me.

Hi Twat

https://open.spotify.com/track/4I7DV3MIgxJGlObiy9s6nx?si=kaO5ol7dQQycDWl__aAp_w&context=spotify%3Asearch%3Ashania%2Btwain%2Bthat%2Bdon%27t%2Bimpress%2Bme%2Bmuch

Let’s keep it professional at work in the future, thanks.

I reported an incident of sexual harassment from a work colleague about 15 years ago. Not a dick pick but something else. So yes, I would. Too many men get away with this shit because women are trained to be kind and let it go. Fuck that.

Either reply with "inappropriate" or dont text me again or totally ignore. Anything further and report to HR.

I would tell very one.

He has done it to others.

I know you don't want to, but please report him to HR.

It's disgusting behaviour. Don't dismiss it, its not a little jokey thing.

I think you're crazy not to report. He's the one who should be keeping away from people having drinks not you.

Why not?

He will be doing it (or worse) to others. He'll keep doing it to you if you don't shut it down. Any damage to his career is both deserved and self inflicted.

@SecretsInSongs "I reported an incident of sexual harassment from a work colleague about 15 years ago. Not a dick pick but something else. So yes, I would. Too many men get away with this shit because women are trained to be kind and let it go. Fuck that."

Agree.

You should report it. Not in an ‘I want retribution’ way, but to have the incident logged (incase he has a habit of doing this) and so HR can decide whether to give him some training on behaviour in the workplace etc. You can say you don’t want it escalated, but you do want it on file. It’s inappropriate and unprofessional behaviour.

I would and I have. HR investigated and while they never confirmed or denied as much to me, there was a strong suggestion that I was not the only person he'd tried it with.

He ended up resigning "for health reasons" while suspended pending the outcome of the investigation. Jumped before he was pushed, and good riddance to the pathetic dick-brained turnip.

How can you see his tan if he’s dressed?

“Inappropriate”

Thats all you need to reply with.

Agree to either report or send a clear message stating neutrally that you find this inappropriate, screenshot and block.

Ignore him from now on.

I avoid using WhatsApp at all for chatting or work now as there seem to be loads of creeps who exploit the more informal setting to "test the water". Often married. If it needs to be said it can normally be said in work e-mail. Life is peaceful.

Laughing emoji and block. Anything else is licence for him to escalate. I personally wouldn’t report to HR as it’s hassle for you and sadly, will definitely have repercussions with other colleagues. It shouldn’t but always does. But would screenshot and report at the next sign of inappropriate comms

He should be worried. I realise you might not feel comfortable doing so (which is why these reptiles get away with this stuff), but I'd call him the fuck out on it. Reply telling him that his actions are that of a depraved sex pest, and does he think he's fucking clever? I'd tell him I was planning to tell everyone at work what he'd did - the scummy bastard deserves to be shamed to the max.

I reported a dick pic to HR about 10 years ago. It was an erection beneath some trunks, but part on show. My colleague was more senior to me, well liked, “one of the lads”, married, kids, etc.
I confided in a trusted female colleague and he had form, according to rumours, but no one had come forward to complain. I was hesitant, would I be believed etc and thought sod that, so
I took the plunge and reported him. Best thing I ever did at work and I would do it again in a heartbeat because I would rather have the potential of temporary fall out than a lifetime of regret at not reporting it.

There was no drama in the end, he resigned and moved on quickly. The worry I had was temporary, the regret would’ve been forever. HR were brilliant.

"I struggle with boundaries with men but I in no shape or form flirted with him or said anything suggestive"

You haven't.

He's a predator and chances are he has a partner or a wife. He starts exchanging chatty messages so you "think" you're friendly then starts trying to turn it into sexts. Just because he looks like a nice basic mainstream guy doesn't mean he's not predatory.

This is how he operates, he's manipulative. He wants to set you up so it looks like its some mutual thing, but it's not.

Of course people can and do meet and date via work. But then they're mainstream or open about it, they may even ask you out in a group situation with friendly colleagues. They don't try to keep things sneaky and secret.

The sad fact is there's at least one in every workplace.

You can tell from the OP's posts how much this reprobate has unsettled her 😔 It's not fair, and I hope he gets his comeuppance.

Have to concur with many previous comments - I get it feels awkward and weird, and you don’t want to make a fuss but it really does need reporting to HR and I hope you can muster the courage to do so on Monday.
Also, block him, regardless of what you actually end up doing.

I think this is the best approach.

He’ll feel stupid and is very unlikely to do it again.

It suits the position you feel comfortable taking and teaches him a lesson.

I was going to say similar. It's about power. And he's done it in such a way as to leave some plausible deniability (since he's clothed). Save the pic. Do not reply (especially not one of the ridiculous 'sassy' comebacks).

He's a 41 years old Civil Servant.
He will have done this before, probably to younger women of less seniority.
Report him.

Well I had a similar thing happen to me but he was half named on the toilet and it was completely unsolicited. Plus he was married with young kids. I couldn't believe it. So I did take it to HR and they took it seriously

Try reading OPs posts. 🙄

He is wearing shorts.

Yeah, I admit I didn’t read the whole thread.

You carry on looking for that brain in your head.