Colleague has sent me a dick pic

[Iambetteroffsingle]

Well not a completely full-frontal one, he is clothed on it but it's a picture of his 'hard-on'. (Sorry this is TMI)

I vaguely knew of him before and we went on a team-building weekend activity as a group. Got on well, stayed in touch a bit over the last week via text, just talking about work and holidays mainly.
There's been no flirting or innuendos of any sort, then I opened my phone to this.
The man is 41 FFS.
He's put a caption in the picture talking about his 'tan' but I'm not stupid, I know what a lot of men are like.

If this were out of work I'd block straightaway, but I feel so awkward with working together. We aren't in the same team but have mutual friends. I just don't know what to do.

I was slightly interested before and would've been open to a date or something similar but this has shown me what he thinks of me.

I haven't read every post, but in case no one's mentioned it, there's a fantastic Reddit thread from a while ago by a woman in a similar situation.

She sent an email to the guy, on the work system, with the offending photo attached, to "follow up on his message" and tell him it was inappropriate. I think it's an excellent way of dealing with unsolicited pics from colleagues.

It isn't Mr C Horner trying to show you just how horny you make him is it? @Iambetteroffsingle 🤭

Report, report, report.

He's done this before, he'll do it again and worse because these things escalate.

If he's CS he won't be in any doubt that he's breaching all sorts of rules but he's relying on his victims to keep quiet. Call his bluff.

Very good move! :-)

Predators try to move it onto WhatsApp, to make it seem like you're "friends" and any contact is a mutual flirtation or joint secret. But you're not.

The chief Creeps at an old work site I was on refused to read work e-mail or pretended they didn't see them.

So they would hold up people's work unless women starting WhatsApping them, and then their goal was to introduce some ambiguity or a fake sense of intimacy, and then they could start finding out information about women.

The last WhatsApp I got from a Creep (after I'd detached from the site) wasn't a dick pick but clearly "testing the waters" and trying to turn the conversation "emotional".

(no I didn't want to tell Married Creep my personal issues, and I certainly didn't want to hear his).

I replied back very neutrally, but I should have sent it to a work group with my boss cc'd in.

Dont talk to him again,if he try’s say you found the pic very disrespectful and will report if it happens again…what an idiot…

I would be completely honest and say what you said on here in your first post.

Send him a message saying….

‘WTF? We are work colleagues and you’re sending me pictures like that? What are you thinking? It’s so unbelievably inappropriate. I actually thought you were alright and have enjoyed chatting recently. But if you think I want to see pictures like this you have got me COMPLETELY wrong. You have misjudged this situation entirely. That picture disgusts me. Why do men like you think women want to see that? We don’t.

Let him read it, then block him and ignore him in work. If he tries to speak I would say ‘Does your manager know you send pictures of your erect genitals to young women in the office?’ I don’t think he’ll bother you again.

he is the only one who has put his career in jeopardy, you are not responsible for his gross unprofessionalism and have the right to protect yourself in your work environment.

100% HR on Monday. What a creep.

This issue absolutely vile behaviour.

This needs to be reported. If his career suffers then he might learn not to do this anymore. How many times does he have to be told that women are not impressed by the cucumber stuck down his trousers? Nobody thinks women want this. Putting his own fucked-up desires above that of the woman, and forcing her into anything remotely sexual without consent is a bit rapey. It has to stop.

And it's in the workplace.

God what a nightmare, ugh how awful of him to put you in this situation

Good job you're leaving

How does he expect you to react? How does any man expect a woman to react when sending this shit??

Oh yummy??!

Nope

If it were me, I would reply "Well this conversation took a disappointing turn." I wouldn't report it to HR at this point, but would absolutely screenshot the entire conversation in case it doesn't end there.

He has jeopardised his career. You need to take it to HR and let them deal with it.

As you said he may be doing it to other people and you don't know what else he could be doing to others.

I too think you send it to HR. You can say I was sent this, I certainly didn’t ask for it. I’m sure if asked he will say he really just meant to show his tan, but I ask if you really think any professional man over 25 would accidentally take a close up of their erection and send it to a female colleague unsolicited. I don’t think so.

I don't think I'd send a laughing emoji. If those messages ever got out (eg to another colleague, HR, etc) it would look like OP found his unsolicited dick pic funny and/or condoned it. Either take the situation to HR or block this tosser for a while and avoid him otherwise. 🌹

If it were me, I'd text him back something like "Unsolicited dick pics constitute sexual harrassment."

And then block him.

And keep the pic.

Keep him worrying for months and potentially years as to whether you'll tell HR or not.

Actually a good response. 🌹

Block him and report

options are

1. ignore it

2)message back that’s it’s really offended you I’m not reporting it this t but never do that again

3. go to HR and raise complaint

its 100% what the best option for you

And we wonder why men keep on doing this. Because women let them. Laughing it off, not wanting to jeopardize his career...the list goes on. We need to call them up on it each and every time. Report to HR.

I had a similar experience a couple of years ago and the following day walking into work knowing that he was going to be there made me feel physically sick. I managed to avoid him the first day. That physical reaction made me realise that I had to report him. It sounds like the OP is friendly and has previously had a bit of a laugh with this colleague, that doesn’t mean he can behave like this. Presumably the OP also has a good relationship with the other males she works with and yet none of them have behaved like this. I reported my colleague and taking into account how it still affects me two years later I would strongly suggest that she reports this behaviour to management/HR.

Put a thumbs down then block
I wouldn’t report to HR but I would save it so I had it locked and loaded just In case.

Oh yeh it’s the women’s fault as per. Victim blaming classic 👏🏼

While I see you r point, you would be amazed how oblivious men like I was can be to how much of this goes on.
Reporting it will help but that obliviousness can be bad. It needed my wife and some colleagues to really open my eyes to it.
The other side is she might not get a sympathetic response. She has had a mixed response on MN (as did a rape victim), so her caution is understandable.

I think this refers to the non reporting which makes them think it’s acceptable and then they continue to do it. Admittedly if they didn’t do it in the first place we wouldn’t have to report it.