Colleague has sent me a dick pic

[Iambetteroffsingle]

Well not a completely full-frontal one, he is clothed on it but it's a picture of his 'hard-on'. (Sorry this is TMI)

I vaguely knew of him before and we went on a team-building weekend activity as a group. Got on well, stayed in touch a bit over the last week via text, just talking about work and holidays mainly.
There's been no flirting or innuendos of any sort, then I opened my phone to this.
The man is 41 FFS.
He's put a caption in the picture talking about his 'tan' but I'm not stupid, I know what a lot of men are like.

If this were out of work I'd block straightaway, but I feel so awkward with working together. We aren't in the same team but have mutual friends. I just don't know what to do.

I was slightly interested before and would've been open to a date or something similar but this has shown me what he thinks of me.

Unless it happened during work time or on a work device its nothing to do with HR. Outside of the above adults are free to send what they want.

Send it round the whole workforce 😂😂

I completely disagree. I think men send pictures of their dicks because it gives them a thrill. They get a thrill out of shocking the woman they are sending the pictures to.

It is completely different to sending pictures to a relationship partner.

So if this happened to your 18 year old daughter, you'd be fine with it?

@Iambetteroffsingle That is really offensive and disrespectful to have sent that to you - But you already know that.

Definitely let his manager know.

What a seedy man.

If people are already in a relationship and know each other very well, and agree that 'intimate images' of each other are ok..then it's different, but in this case?

Urgh...no.

Why should anyone have a problem with her?? I have been in a very similar situation, he wasn’t dismissed but as far as my colleagues are concerned they have supported me completely. They are professional with him but are aware of his previous behaviour. His actions caused this same as the male the op received her message from.

Not to sound alarmist, but that was the sort of stuff Wayne Couzens started off doing....

Report it.

Yes..it's a form of online ''flashing''.

Of course, OP could reply and say ''Not very big, is it? 🤔''

Your male friend is a bit of a dick

And thick as pig shit if he believes that. More likely just another creepy bloke trying to justify this sort of behaviour.

Hey OP, I totally get where you’re coming from. It’s awkward, made more difficult by the fact that he’s friends and interacts with your team.

however, this is on him. It’s inappropriate and you’re unlikely to be the first or last with his attempted grooming - pushing boundaries. If women, as a general rule, had a zero tolerance policy for this bs, it’ll cease to exist. The fact that women on the whole ignore it or don’t want to rock the boat allows this behaviour to exist.

id say fuck him. It’s highly inappropriate - clothed or not, an erection pic is unacceptable. I’d deffo advise HR.

Why are you feeling responsible for consequences? FFS report the creep. If anyone says anything to you about it tell them what a creep he is and what he did.
eta: and do not reply or forward. Just show the pic on your phone to HR. And keep it in case it's needed for legal purposes. ie police, etc Do not show it to anyone else at work.

And dome are so perverted that even that would give them a thrill. ‘Small penis humiliation’ is a fetish.

if he walked up to you in the office wearing thin shorts and a visible erection, pointed at it and said, look at my tan, or similar, you'd accept it was sexual harassment. If someone did it to you in a pub you'd accept it was sexual harassment. Doing it via message doesn't negate it, the only difference is you have clear proof.

Oh no don’t do this op! He’ll take it as encouragement. Don’t give it any acknowledgment that you noticed it.

Personally I’d screen shot in case it escalates and completely ignore. Go cold at work.

I'd message back “why would you send me that? I'm disappointed in you." Block. And let him squirm.
Don't back out of anything you want to go to, you've done nothing wrong. He will either back out himself, try to act like nothing ever happened (while panicking inside) or try to talk to you about it to do damage control. I would tell him in this case you have nothing to discuss with him.
Oh and save the photo just in case.

Assuming he's had radio silence I imagine he's already starting to squirm. I'd not be surprised if he's been back in touch asking for opinion or moving the conversation back to small talk.

This is not ok…..act accordingly.

OP remember you are still likely to be in shock so there is no need to do anything or make any decisions right now. Sometimes we need more info before we can pick the best outcome of a situation.

Save the photo. Silence is the best response - it's so powerful. Take plenty of time to think things through. It might be that your workplace has a confidential employee support line that you can call to help find the right answer for you.

Yes, I could see that being a thing too.

I suppose without knowing the man, it's hard to tell whether he's getting a thrill from shocking someone with his Mighty Man Penis, or just overly optimistic and misguided as to what the OPs reaction would be.

Don't report, everyone saying report, easy for them to say but would they actually do it?

Don't reply, it will blow over, hopefully he'll get the picture that it's far from cool behaviour when you go cold. I'd be civil in person, if that.

@Allfur and @SecretsInSongs I really don't think so. As I said, he's not the sort of man to ever send a dick pic, or be disrespectful to people. However, it is interesting to get a glimpse of how other people think. At least to me.

Yes, I do agree. Even taking this in the best possible light, he's been stupid and unprofessional. No doubt.

I think if he’s capable of mansplaining such a ‘explanation’, then he’s exactly the type to send one. 🤮

He is getting off on making you feel uncomfortable. It’s a power game. He will be watching for you squirming. No woman wants an unsolicited dick pick. Men know this, they’re not stupid.