Bit out of order?

[parentfodder]

We have arranged to go see pil on Father's Day. We live an hour away.

Sil messaged to say she is planning to take pil out for a meal on Father's Day so let her know if we want to come. So basically we either go out for a meal or leave when they do?

Given pil had already arranged to see us I feel they shouldn't have accepted sils offer as they had plans. We will get there 11ish and I think they will do a late lunch so 2/3ish. We had intended to stay until 4ish.

😂 I've seen the post I agree

You are being selfish. Im sure your fil would
much rather go out to lunch that spend 5 hours at home , with kids and your dogs and have to provide lunch as well, just because you planned to stay 5 hours , which i think is a long time for a visit doing nothing special doesnt mean everyone else has to agree . You are not the most important person here

I don't think that's on on Father's Day

I would expect you take food to eat or you go out

Maybe that's why SiL has suggested it - doesn't want them catering on FD

Has it been confirmed that the meal out is a lunch and not a dinner??

We are here now. They are going out at 2. Mil had sarnies ready for arrival including for bil and sil. Who despite being child free and living a couple doors away didn't offer to help. But I have cleaned up and loaded dishes. Setting off for walk.

Other than that all is well? Hope you all have a good day!

How lovely that your sil has included you in the father's day outing, I'm sure it will be much more enjoyable than sandwiches for you all and still no clearing up to do. Stop being so negative and see the bright side of things

Dogs can't be left at home all day so go to the IL's with them. They can't take the dogs and the SEN children out for lunch so have no choice but to go back home instead of joining in with SIL's plans.

RTFT

Yes it's all good sil and bil are great. My previous slightly sarky comment wasn't about them they are lovely. It was more aimed at the posters claiming sils a saint and I'm selfish 😂

I guess a lot of people don't have ils who insist on being hosts.

I think it's your father in laws day so he gets to choose what he wants to do. I also wouldn't expect them to feed you today, regardless of clearing up or not. Go see him for an hour around his meal, job done.

Well it is inclusive. You just don’t want to risk it. But absolutely you could have worked it so you could have went,or your husband could. Ya know as it’s his dad.

Well the day isn't about you. Just go for a couple of hours and either go for lunch or go home I don't see why you have an issue. I would be thinking, oh how lovely SIL is taking her dad out for lunch, that's nice of her.

Go out for lunch, problem solved. Bit selfish to expect him to do what suits you - it’s FATHERS day not daughter in laws day! Also his daughter wants to see her dad?! Give your head a wobble.

Yes I agree. They arranged for you to visit, they should stick to that arrangement, or go out once you have left. Find it odd people questioning what you expected to eat, clearly at your pil. And the suggestions for you to go out with her for the lunch, is not the point.

Absolutely as Father’s Day really should be all about the op.

Sil spent all day with her daddont worry

Are you jealous??

@Frasers no there's been a lot of concern sil wasn't going to see her dad despite explaining she is spending the whole day with them.
Also lots of concern about pil making sandwiches despite explaining they would be doing that if no one was there or if sil and bil were there

OP, where is your dad?

Mine sadly died when I was 12.

Your attitude stinks of huffiness. “Well fine then, we’ll only go a for a couple of hours and then they’ll have to wait til they see us the next month, see how they like that!”

I can’t abide huffy people.

What do you think she should have done?

What a non-issue to get offended about. Go for lunch together and have a lovely time. I don’t understand the issue.

So he should decline a nice lunch out with one of his children- on Father’s Day so his day, not yours - because you have decided to go and sit in his house for 5 hours ?

The day is over and done, OP I hope you had a good day whatever you decided to do.

i would have however been in the minority and agreed with you! You and your husband had made plan with PIL. Your SIL then wants to plan something else this taking away from your plans and essentially gate crashing and making it all about what she wants. What should have happened is either PIL said to SIL ‘that sounds great but we’re seeing X, maybe check in with them and see what plans they have’ or SIL spoke with you/your husband and made joint plans, maybe lunch out wouldn’t have worked but maybe together you all could have put on a lovely spread therefore including everyone.

im sure PIL would love being treated to lunch pit but equally I’m sure they would have loved being treated and seeing all the family together