To feel this is the end because he called me a c€&t under his breath

[RealNewt]

Hi, I really need some advice. Just had a fight with DH while on holiday and walked out of the room. I changed my mind and walked back in, and heard him at the tail end of calling me a cunt to himself. He (under interrogation) admitted it. I am really shocked that he would call me this, even to himself. For the record, I wasn’t being particularly unreasonable or acting cuntish, it was just a stupid fight about nothing.

It's funny how I've got through my whole adult life without screaming it in someone's face or saying it under my breath

Good for you. I haven’t either. What’s your point?

To end the relationship over that? not a chance, everyone has a moan and may mutter something in the heat of the moment !

All the posters who are normalising it

Firstly, screaming it in someone’s face isn’t being normalised. Swearing at a partner in or immediately after a row is and this guy muttered cunt under his breath after she left the room, so it wasn’t even at his wife 🤷‍♀️ It’s not a word I’ve used myself, but it is in common usage.

While not really arguing with anything people have said here, cos I’m just grateful for all of your angles on this, one thing I’d say to the posters referring to pearl clutching over a mere word etc, is that words DO have power. Saying that “cunt” is only a word is like saying a gun is only an ornament unless you kill somebody with it. The word represents something in context, and in the context of my relationship and that row I felt it represented contempt for me.
Jesus I feel ready to complete s PhD in cunt studies at this stage 😂

Cunt is a powerful word.. A very sinister word to use about someone you're meant to love. It's got so much resentment and hate behind it
I wouldn't be able to think of him the same

It's just another word for fanny, minge, floof, lady garden, vagina. No comparison to a gun at all grow up.

But it isn’t seen that way by some people. It has none of those connotations behind it to some. Not liking is is one thing, taking issue with being called it us reasonable, but then the sensible thing is to bear in mind is the intent behind it!

@AnnieSnap I understand some people use it more lightly and mean something less serious. The men I've known intimately don't throw that word around and I know if they said it about me it would be over.
The fact it's upset the OP so much indicates he is the latter

With respect, I don’t think you really picked up what I was saying.

Get a grip! You'd just argued & stormed out, he was venting & called you a name. It wasn't directed at you just said under his breath as he vented. I've done the same when I've argued with DH. I've also left the room & flicked him the birdy behind the door. It's really not that deep & definitely not worth ending a relationship over.

Sorry bit I don't think it's a one-off. Who calls anyone a c*nt! Disgusting terminology which shows he has no respect for you. You wouldn't know if it was a one-off anyway. Perhaps you were not in the room or in earshot other times.

I don't care what the reason is. That would be an elephant in the room going forward, it would have to end. Especially as you say, it was a trivial matter. He's not going to age well if this is in his foundations. You deserve better, don't you?