Dating short men

[Shinefast]

I’ve met someone online. Had a date at the weekend and we got on really well.
He’s quite short though. I feel so shallow for thinking like this, but I have always been attracted to taller men. I’m 5’2 and he isn’t all that much taller than I am.
would this be an issue for you?
his bio didn’t have his height on it

I’m 5ft 2 and DH 5ft 7. I prefer shorter stockier men, I don’t like feeling loomed over!

If he's too short for your liking, walk past him and try for a taller guy. If you can't find one and still want to date, then consider dropping your bar and including shorter guys in the group you'd consider. How picky you can be depends a great deal on how much you want a partner and how much you offer yourself.

I’m one of those rare women that prefer shorter men. I’m only 5ft 4 and prefer men my height or slightly taller.
I find really tall men intimidating and I don’t want to have to strain my neck every time I reach up for a kiss!

Have to add I do like shorter men with a stockier build not into skinny men at all!

It does. But it’s vital that it’s there at the start.

If there were a thread asking, “AIBU to consider cancelling my wedding to a kind, intelligent, generous, attentive, empathic, devoted man, just because I don’t really fancy him very much?” I suspect the YANBU response would be close to 100%.

Same, very few men over 6’2 are in proportion, I’m not into the Peter crouch thing

This happens to women all the time!!!
Dating is not an equal opportunities activity!

Well, I wouldn’t date a fat man either.

what’s your basis for this out of interest?

It's fine if you aren't attracted to short men, of course it is! I agree with not telling him the exact reason though, just that you don't see it working out, or similar.
Regardless of what others may think, I don't find short men attractive. Doesn't mean I would go for any random man taller than me (I didn't with DP), but I really wouldn't fancy towering over a man of around 5ft 4!

So long as he is confident in his height and himself. Some short men can be very unkind in my entirely biased opinion.

what’s your basis for this out of interest?

Anecdotes and personal experience, probably, same as anything else written on here.

Most of us develop more realistic expectations with regard to looks over time, and preferences change.

Anyone with height and looks requirements that are very specific - you're going to struggle finding someone (who also likes you back!)

@Hateam is a man so i was wondering whether he was speaking from personal experience of being one of the “good” ones

Ah ok!

This thread actually made me think of one short man I worked with, he was much shorter than average, I'd say around 5ft 1. I don't know if his height had anything to do with it, maybe insecurity or maybe just a horrible person regardless, but he was vile in the truest sense of the word. Berated people in front of clients, along the lines of "oh I'm not surprised Jane needs help, you can't cure stupid!", called on people like they were dogs, clicking his fingers and yelling "come on Steve, thaaaat's it, come here!"... Awful bully of a man, yet surprisingly had more than one affair at work without his partner catching on. I honestly don't know how he avoided being sacked.

Why is it more of a struggle to find someone with every specific height and looks than to find someone with very specific personality traits or very specific political views or very specific interests or a very specific sense of humour or very specific culinary preferences?

Who said it would be 'more of a stuggle'?

If you're looking for someone with the exact same opinions and beliefs on every topic you'll also struggle. If you need someone to be a perfect person, you'll struggle. What is your point?

With any specific and rigid preference - Finding that person is hard, and they may not fancy you anyway.

I wish there was some kind of data visualisation which correlates three data points:

• height of the seeker (let’s say 5’2 for example)
• their relative attractiveness in conventional standards (let’s say they’re average)
• the height of the man they seek (over 6ft usually!)

And then we can from this, learn the success rates.

There are so many people who I think in their minds want 6’1” and more….and yet those guys theoretically can have the pick of anyone they want , and are conditioned to think so as height is so overstated by British women in dating.

so either they look past height in the end, (and do so because someone is compelling in online chat or in real life)…

.. or they spend ages looking for “Mr Right” because they waste time trying to validate themselves with guys who have dozens more options than them, and take them.

Because nobody's criteria are just "must be over 6 feet tall" - that's something added to all the other usual requirements.

It just so happens that the height requirement immediately discards 85.5% of the population before all of the other requirements are applied. If that's not making it "more of a struggle", I don't know what is.

@Shinefast you sound like me! I'm 5ft 2 and recently started dating a man I'd consider not my type physically. He's very lean (but muscular) and short for my normal type. But I have absolutely fallen for him as a person and none of that matters now. I'm very attracted to him as a whole package now. I did have to push through my initial feelings on his looks as he's so different to my normal type but I'm so glad I did. Maybe try a couple more dates and see how you feel?

I actually wonder how dating apps work.

If dating app filters ranked things of importance

[ If four personality criteria are match, then disregard height preference ]

then surely a lot of good men are filtered out because they’re sub 6’ ?

or is it that OP and others eventually recognise they’re filtering out 80% of the app; so they drop the height requirement filter, start matching with nice people, but then grumble they’re not tall?!

Well, yes, exactly.

Any criterion cuts out a percentage of the population. 'Must enjoy hiking'. 'Must love Sex and the City' 'Must be crazy about Thai food'. They'll all take out a greater chunk than 'must be at least six foot'.

So any criterion makes it harder, and the more you have, the harder it is.

But a physical type is no more exclusionary than anything else.

Or course 'must be precisely 6 one-and-a-half' is going to make it tough. But then so is 'must love hiking in Epping Forest in the rain'. Or liking Pina Coladas.

Either you're attracted to him or you're not. Doesn't matter if its his height that's putting you off, you can't make yourself attracted to him. But, it sounds like you're making the height a thing, even though you do like him?

No. I think that's just the myth men comfort themselves with. Ime being a dickhead is very inclusive, absolutely barriers to short ugly men taking up that role, as very many do, with enthusiasm. Equally I know many men who manage to skillfully combine being tall and handsome with being very nice indeed.

We'll disagree on this on.

There are plenty of nice guys around. Most are married by the age of 30.