Dating short men

[Shinefast]

I’ve met someone online. Had a date at the weekend and we got on really well.
He’s quite short though. I feel so shallow for thinking like this, but I have always been attracted to taller men. I’m 5’2 and he isn’t all that much taller than I am.
would this be an issue for you?
his bio didn’t have his height on it

My OH isn't tall, about 5'6". We met when he was 45, and I sometimes wonder whether he'd have been snapped up sooner if he was tall. I feel so lucky- leave this man to someone who appreciates him.

Op I hear you! I’m attracted to tall well built men. You can help who you’re attracted to!! I like really masculine men over 6 foot at least.

Went on a date in November with a guy who was around 6,10. He was lovely but I just didn’t feel that sexual attraction. So asked if we could just be friends as we had a lot in common.

Went on some really shit dates with tall guys.

Periodically I’ve kept in touch with 5,10 guy and I’ve really got to know him as a person - especially recently. He is an absolute top guy. He sent me a pic of his new hair cut today and he looks lovely. He is actually a real catch and we are meeting up soon for a date. And I think we may fall in to a natural relationship.

Go on few dates and see how you feel then

https://www.cnbc.com/2023/02/24/shorter-people-may-live-longer-than-most-heres-why.html

Sorry for the news link but it's easier than collecting all the different studies.

It's part of why women live longer than men, on average

It shouldn't matter if he wasn't. It's one thing about them - it doesn't define them.
He shouldn't have to be judged.

It’s not being judged - it’s not being sexually attracted to them. It’s a massive difference.

You can’t help who you are sexually attracted to. As you spend more time with person attraction can grow when the person behind the physical appearance comes through.

She was attracted to his pics on his profile though so this isn't quite true. It's about society norms and about judging someone on one thing.

If you're not attracted to short men, OP, then you're not attracted to short men.

Dont feel bad about it, and if you do feel bad about it just think about the long list of standards and "wont date if's" that men have about women, that'll probably make you feel better about your decision fairly instantly!

And this, ladies, is why there are so many of us on here complaining about shitty husbands, or wondering how we're ever going to find somebody to have a baby with in our 40s.

Physical attraction helps now, but in 20-30 years' time height is going to be bottom of the list of priorities. If everything else is right, then surely it's worth exploring?

I don’t think it’s shallow at all. You can’t help who you are attracted to. I prefer tall men 🤷‍♀️ why would you date a fat person/short person, if that isn’t what’s attractive to you?

All the talk of sexual attraction is interesting, and generates a very different response when a man complains he’s no longer attracted to his wife when in 10 years time she has gained 5 stone and hasn’t shaved her legs for weeks and never gets dolled up.

Sexual attraction fades.

Op, I’m curious how it turned out with the ‘short’ guy.
I also like taller men (I’m 5’7 and I like them to be at least 6’). I would never date a man shorter or same height as me, I just don’t find them sexually attractive (even though I can appreciate a good looking short man from an objective point of view). However, as the years go by I find that most good men (or those not afraid of commitment) are taken, and the shorter men on the ‘market’ tend to have more qualities than the taller men (perhaps because they’re trying to compensate for their height or perhaps because many women only like tall men). So I am really trying to challenge my heightism but it’s not easy. There’s an elderly couple I know well - the wife is a tiny bit taller than the husband and she was telling me how when they met some 30 years ago she was really put off by his short height, but in the end she compromised. I look at them and see how much poorer their lives would have been without eachother…But argh, it’s really hard when you KNOW that height shouldn’t matter, that’s there’s no need for it for a successful relationship, and yet your hormones just refuse to start singing and dancing when you’re with a man who is shorter than your preference…

This is such a personal thing that nobody can advise you what’s to be done.

The different responses is because nearly 9/10 the wife is absolutely shattered & exhausted from looking after the kids and house and work - Has zero time to go to the gym or can’t even have a shower to shave her legs with out one of the kids coming in and wanting a pooh on toilet. Doesn’t get dolled up
any more be sure she is so fucking tired and sees it a waste of make up.

Meanwhile the bloke carries on with his man life, keeps his footie/rugby/gym up and wonders why his wife ‘just isn’t the same any more’ 🙄🙄

I love that there are women who reject men for stupid reasons like height, because perhaps if they didn’t I wouldn’t have found my lovely partner. He’s 5ft 5 (and a half 😂) and I’m 5ft 7. He’s masculine, strong, proficient in multiple martial arts, gets told pretty frequently by other men in his trade (who are much bigger than he is) that he’s really intimidating until they get to know him. He makes me feel safe and protected and feminine.

He’s loyal, has wonderful values, he’s intelligent, sexy, has a strong work ethic, and would do anything to make me happy.

So yeah, keep on rejecting the amazing shorter men, and lucky women like me will get to keep on having wonderful partners.

Don't mind me, just trying to imagine the furore if this were a man and the thread title was "dating a fat girl"

OP, of course you are being unreasonable, as is everyone on this thread sympathising and allowing you to think you're not

I think many women in their 20s walk straight past decent men and into the arms of tall, dark, handsome dickheads.

10 years later these women are moaning that there are no good men around whilst the decent men they ignored are busy doing good husbands and good fathers.

Ultimately you can date / not date whomever you want and for whatever reason you choose to/not to. Don't feel guilty about that.

lol

In order for your analogy to work, the OP would have to be a fat man asking if he’s unreasonable for not being attracted to a woman slightly less fat than him.

Then the thread would be mostly people asking the OP if personality is not more important to him, pointing out his hypocrisy or saying how much they adore their own fat partner, with just a handful of people saying “Hey, you like what you like, hold out for your skinny dream girl, man.”

Not exactly a furore.

What each of us is attracted to differs. I sense he isn't right for you. He's too keen, and that has nothing to do height.

I'm 5'8 and have dated guys my height or 1-2 inches shorter but I'm attracted to fit men and have dated a few men into combat sports so there's no issue of feeling protected there. I think it's silly and shallow to care so much about height, especially when you're so short as it's not something a man can change and would work on why you feel the need to have a taller man when it's turned into social capital as of late. Then again you're into what you're into, but you will lose out on alot of good men this way.

Also, the tallest man I dated was a total wuss and not very nice - his height was a big part of his personality which I found offputting. My brother is 6'6 and is also a big wuss, as far as feeling protected goes 😂

I'd go on a second date if you liked him. It's too early to tell if you will find him attractive. Some people we are instantly physically attracted to then turned off by personalities. Some, their character is what makes them sexy.

Don't force yourself to pretend it doesn't matter if it does, but do find out whether you like him so much it stops being a feature that bothers you.

Ah height discussions.

Op hasn't done this her part, but there have been a few "I only date men over 6'" like clockwork as always.

I'm a 5'11 (and a half) woman in an all male team, always the tall girl throughout life. Not one of the 11 men I work with are taller than me, and this is in London. Your 6'2 DH is not 6'.

I've learnt height isn't important quite early. Taller men seemed to be very insecure about being seen with a woman their height or slightly taller. Give me a medium/shorter man with confidence who doesn't give a flying fuck any day - partner of 5 years is 5'8.

@CheekyHobson add in a few saying how their lovely partner is skinny but completely theoretically they wouldn't mind if he was fat.

Nothing at all wrong with this. You fall for a person based on what they're like as a person, height is irrelevant. I have been married to a very tall man (almost 30cm taller than me) for most of my adult life. While I like and love him very much for his personality, I've often thought that if I could change one thing about him he wouldn't be quite so tall, and my hypothetical ideal partner would be close to my own height. This would be purely for practical reasons as I don't think being either tall or short is unattractive in itself. But I'd never reject him simply because he was so ridiculously tall. I'm about average height for a woman which would be shortish for a man, but that wouldn't bother me at all.

Have you examined why you want to feel 'small' next to a partner?

I have had three serious relationships in my life. I’m 5ft 4 they were 5’10, 5’6 and 6’1.

The 5’10 proved to be a massive dickhead, the other two were both great and both husband material and I mean really good. Who is lucky enough to meet one let alone two in a lifetime. Unfortunatley religious and cultural differences meant the shorter guys family kicked off, mine were not exactly pleased, we could have maybe got through it, he thought with children his parents would have come round but why complicate life, this was almost 30 years ago.Been married to 6’1 for 25 years.