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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dating short men

317 replies

Shinefast · 10/06/2024 10:37

I’ve met someone online. Had a date at the weekend and we got on really well.
He’s quite short though. I feel so shallow for thinking like this, but I have always been attracted to taller men. I’m 5’2 and he isn’t all that much taller than I am.
would this be an issue for you?
his bio didn’t have his height on it

OP posts:
renthead · 11/06/2024 01:41

I've always liked shorter, muscular men. My ideal man is about 5'8"! However when I showed up for my first date with DH I was surprised to find that we were exactly the same height (5'6"). I did get over it but there have been times over the years that it has bothered me. I especially hate that I'm taller than him in heels! If this is going to be a big sticking point for you, it's OK to admit that and not pursue it further. Physical attraction is important.

Miriad · 11/06/2024 01:42

You’re allowed to not be attracted to someone for any reason. Height wouldn’t bother me if I liked his other attributes, there are things that would put me off more than being short.

yumyumyumy · 11/06/2024 01:56

You're allowed a type. I'm 5 foot 1 and the height thing wouldn't bother me really. I'm not small framed though so a petite/small framed person (small hands, feet, shoulders etc) would put me off a bit and make me feel like a bit of a beast. Really tall men have always made me feel a bit intimidated though.

RogueFemale · 11/06/2024 02:00

Shinefast · 10/06/2024 10:41

I get this. I really do. But you can’t help what attracts you to someone

I'm 5' 4". I'm really only attracted to men who are at least 6ft tall. I fell in love, though, with a wonderful man of 5' 9". He wasn't confident in bed. I still loved him, he was just fabulous and beautiful in so many ways. But, in the end, 10 years on, it didn't work out because I always knew the sex wasn't great and was never going to be great. There is no logic to this, but I've only had great sex with men at least 6ft tall and the best was with 6' 3". Make of it what you will.

Firefly1987 · 11/06/2024 02:18

HerORMe · 10/06/2024 14:20

Ha no. Worded ambiguously. The 6’3 was awkward as he was so tall. Then the next one was only 2 inches taller THAN ME. So 5’9. I found it a more comfortable fit

I got what you meant but I think the other poster was a bit confused as you are quite tall yourself. I get it though, my friend's boyfriend is 6'4 and I was like "wow he's even too tall for ME!" I'm 5'8 and she's 5'2. I think if anything the shorter women are more into tall men. Most of my friends boyfriends have been over 6 foot and I don't care about height at all. Around my own height or a couple inches either way is perfect for me.

I bet (subconsciously at least) shorter women are thinking about future kids and trying to make sure they are tall. Whereas I'd probably have giant kids with a tall partner and I'd hate to pass on my big feet. If I wanted kids I'd be avoiding tall men for that reason alone!

sawnotseen · 11/06/2024 04:07

I'm 5ft and tiny frame (size 6). I wouldn't go out with a short man as I think we'd look like a pair of kids from the back!
But seriously, I just don't fancy short men. Ex H is 6ft, adult daughter is 5 2, adult son is 6ft, my partner is 5 11.
BUT you like him so give it a good go now that you've met him and you get along well.
My friend is a tall woman, 5 10 and she told me that she dated many men who were shorter than her, before she met her husband. She says it never bothered her. Obv seems weird to me as someone shorter than me would be about 10!

HollyBerri · 11/06/2024 04:22

Im with you op. Im 5ft 2 also & always been attracted to taller men.
I did go out with a shorter guy. In decided to give it a chance & i did get to know him & see past it do maybe try a few more dates & see where it goes.
Mine didn’t end well. Nothing to do with his height. Turned out to be an arrogant wanker who was laying on the charm but that’s another story 😂

CheekyHobson · 11/06/2024 05:23

I’ve almost always dated very tall men. I’m 5’8” and most have been over 6’, some a lot over that!

After my abusive ex, who was exactly my height and I really struggled with physical attraction to for years, I swore I was not going to date another short man.

Haha guess what, my bf who I can’t keep my hands off is exactly my height when he stands up really straight.

Rebusa · 11/06/2024 08:05

blackheartsgirl · 10/06/2024 13:57

I don’t. Never have. An ex of mine was 5 foot 11 and a nasty bastard.

would much rather have a short, sexy and lovely guy than a tall one who is intimidating.

i find tall men intimidating and not particularly sexy.

having said that I wouldn’t bin one of just because of his tallness if he genuinly was nice

Yeah there are women who prefer average or even shorter guys. My current partner is 6ft 3 and I’m 5ft 2. My last partner was a similar height. But this is purely by coincidence.

My ideal height for a man would actually be around 5ft 9 but I’ve dated men closer to my height too - 5ft 4 ish.

It’s just not something I factor in when dating, so no I don’t go for tall men.

People do like what they like and some people will never get over it but I think it’s sad with the dating pool as it is that any woman would turn down a man purely based on height especially when that man is taller than them. I think if we are honest with ourselves there’s a lot of societal and media conditioning involved in influencing what we like.

MaryMaryVeryContrary · 11/06/2024 08:36

I will win this thread because my ex was 6’6. I just didn’t fancy him tbh - very tall men seem to have weird proportions, often with heads that look too small for their bodies and too skinny for me. I think 5’9-6ft is an attractive height for a man.

Equally I think around 5’6 is the most attractive height for a woman, not overly tall but enough that clothes look nice and they don’t instantly show 2lb of weight gain.

Daisyinthegrass · 11/06/2024 09:57

All my exes have been tall, over 6ft but I'm not far off 6ft myself so they've not been more than an inch or so taller than me. That's the height I've always been attracted to.

I had never considered dating a man shorter than me. Until recently. It took some getting used to but my current boyfriend is an inch shorter than me. He is honestly the only boyfriend I have ever imagined a future with. His height really doesn't bother me. That being said, I could never date an actually short man (as opposed to a man shorter than me) - I would feel very awkward dating a man of 5ft 4, for example.

MistyGreenAndBlue · 11/06/2024 11:19

I'm curious. You say he didn't put his height on his profile but did you? Was he aware that you were shorter than him?
I only ask as, at 5'2", I have been asked out by a few shorter men who admitted (or it somehow came to light) that they only asked me as I was one of the few women shorter than them. Put me right off. I ended up never dating anyone who wasn't average height or above to avoid this.

Short man syndrome is a real thing. Which isn't to say ALL short men are like this.

Beetlewings · 11/06/2024 13:12

I'm five 2 and I prefer men who are just a little taller than me, I feel we're on a more equal footing and I don't have to shout! I've had relationships where the man was 6 foot and I find taller men too lumbering and overwhelming. My partner is five 6 and perfect for me.

OneTC · 11/06/2024 13:18

I love these threads 😅

KimberleyClark · 11/06/2024 13:18

Short man syndrome is a real thing.

why do you think that is?

yumyumyumy · 11/06/2024 14:24

Beetlewings · 11/06/2024 13:12

I'm five 2 and I prefer men who are just a little taller than me, I feel we're on a more equal footing and I don't have to shout! I've had relationships where the man was 6 foot and I find taller men too lumbering and overwhelming. My partner is five 6 and perfect for me.

I feel the same about really tall men. I'm 5 foot 1 and my DH is 5 foot 9 and that's ok for me. My ex was over 6 foot and I thought we looked ridiculous.

OldTinHat · 11/06/2024 14:47

@Shinefast I'm with you. I don't want to feel like I'm towering over a partner. I can't quite explain why, but it makes me feel uncomfortable.

Maybe it's a prehistoric genetic throwback - wanting string men able to hunt and provide. (And I'm going to leave that auto correct right there because it's made me laugh. A lot!)

OneTC · 11/06/2024 14:59

Tall people die younger after a less healthy life and are more likely to be fat and have genetic diseases.

But woo no kickstool in the kitchen

Toucanfusingforme · 11/06/2024 15:36

Bottom line is what you find attractive you find attractive. I’m entirely with you. I couldn’t fancy a man the same height or smaller than me, they have to be a good 3” taller. And if that makes me shallow - bugger off, I don’t care. I need to fancy someone to date them and short men just don’t do it for me.

Toucanfusingforme · 11/06/2024 15:39

Plus the over keen bit would have me running in the opposite direction!

MiddleAgedDread · 11/06/2024 15:42

I would always have said height mattered to me but having recently started dating someone who's barely a hair's width taller than me, I don't think it really matters as so many other things are more important.

Sunshineonasameyday · 11/06/2024 15:47

He'll have a lucky escape if you drop him for being short. Stop being so shallow.

ThreeAmingos · 11/06/2024 15:48

OneTC · 11/06/2024 14:59

Tall people die younger after a less healthy life and are more likely to be fat and have genetic diseases.

But woo no kickstool in the kitchen

Tall people are more likely to be fat? I don't think so

Unless you're really, really tall, being tall doesn't affect your lifespan.

HumanBurrito · 11/06/2024 16:11

are you beating hot eligible tall men off with a shitty stick OP? No? Then you are being ridiculous and need to get over yourself.

BlastedPimples · 11/06/2024 16:15

@OneTC really? Is there science behind your claim?