Would you go to a friends engagement party on the day of your birthday?

[Sevensummers]

My birthday is in September and my friend just recently told our friendship group that her engagement part is on my birthday. I immediately said I won’t be able to come because it’s my birthday and I’ll be doing something nice with my boyfriend, was planning a nice weekend away, however nothing is booked yet. I said to my sister its a shame because I would’ve liked to go to that, but it’s only an engagement party, it’s not as if it’s her wedding day. My sister said why don’t I just do my birthday getaway the weekend before/after but I said no because it’s nice to do it on my actual birthday, I want my birthday to be about me, I don’t want to be celebrating someone else’s engagement when I want to be having my own celebrations for myself lol. My sister said ‘but you still can! You can literally do both’ But I just felt like it’s not the same, it’s not like your birthday falls on a Saturday every year and seeing as it does this year, I want to make the most of it. I really love birthdays, we dont have a lot of money and I never get to go away or buy myself things so we tend to make a big deal out of birthdays and make them really special for each other. And I was looking forward to doing something really good on the actual day of my birthday.

However I’m starting to feel a a bit selfish now and think I should go to my friends engagement party and just do my birthday celebrations some other time. What do you think? Would you think badly of your friend if she didn’t come to your engagement party on her birthday?

just to note, she isn’t my best friend. Our group only sees each other a couple of times a year. So it would be nice to see them all as the last time was almost a year ago. But at the same time we aren’t SUPER close

How old are you?! Since when did birthdays for adults have to be so sacrosanct, your only getting older and will have many more. Personally I think it’s quite child like when grown adults make a big thing of their birthday each year. Your friend is most likely only going to get engaged once, go to it. If you were my friend I personally would be viewing you as rather selfish and a bit precious at the moment. I think you need to apologise quite frankly

Seriously. This cannot possibly be a close friend by any means if you are asking this question.

I’ve never understood adults who make a big song and dance about their own birthdays. Even young kids have to go to school and work hard in their classes on their birthdays.

'I want my birthday to be about me' ..... Really?!! I'm going to be totally honest with you, you sound selfish and childish. Sorry, but that's how you come across. You could have a wonderful time at the party, anyone that knows you well will know its your birthday so you can celebrate it there, plus, you can go away with your boyfriend the weekend before or afterwards. Sounds wonderful to me, whereas sadly, you sound very 'precious'. No offence intended.

Wow. never seen such limited-thinking self-centered entitlement!

You don't want to go to engagement party - because you're not centre stage on your birthday?

You can't spend birthday celebrating other people's happiness AND go away with boyfriend?

If you don't have much money, I'd focus on making the most out of every opportunity to be happy.

......and she could have arranged it for the weekend before or after, knowing that it's your birthday.

Once again, the audacity of people who think anyone who hosts something should find out, in advance what day the birthdays are of each guest they have invited, and then arrange their social life around one of the guests, who isn't even a particularly close person, is just astounding.

There 101 reasons why the host might have picked this date - could be an anniversary of when they started going out / the only day they could get the room or DJ or caterer or whatever is crucial / could be working around shift of people close to them - all sorts. the very notion they should find out birth dates of all guests and then avoid every one of them, is frankly bizarre.

Why wouldn't you go ? If the couple getting engaged had to work around everyone else's birthday it would never happen

I doubt that the way marriages go these day, just saying what I see and hear.
#However, back to the thread, I wish OP's mate all the best and a long and happy marriage!!

This is so funny how many comments this has! Especially the people who are absolutely gobsmacked and outraged and can’t believe my audacity. You need to get out more if someone asking if they should go to an engagement party on their birthday pisses you off this much. I will admit, when I came on and it said 105 new comments.. there’s no way I’m reading those sorry. I have skimmed a few but if you’ve left a comment somewhere within the last few pages, I haven’t read it sorry.

Grow up you can have your birthday anytime!!!!!

The significant one off event is the wedding…an engagement party is overkill and an American import. Seriously if we’re going to talk about “me me me” let’s talk about stretching out the unnecessary fuss and attention over getting married which is ONE day.

I wouldn't TBH, she isn't you BF or someone you are really close too . If it was a wedding I might feel different but an engagement party, most people don't bother these days or just go for a meal with a few friends. Send a card wish them well, but decline and enjoy YOUR special day.

You missed the comments reminding you that you do have children, two still living at home and apparently you split up from your partner earlier in the month!!Had you forgotten? If you had forgotten then you have far bigger problems than your Birthday!

Why is it? Why can’t someone want to feel special on their birthday?

Just because you aren’t bothered by them, doesn’t mean everyone should be of the same mindset.

@Sevensummers You do what you want on your birthday.

An engagement party can be done on other dates. Your birthday is your birthday. My birthday is also in September and was on a Saturday for the first time in years last year. I went with others plans and didn’t celebrate how I wanted to, and I wish I hadn’t and had done what I wanted to do.

Not sure I really get this birthday thing 21, 40, 60 - yes these are a big deal . And my mother is going to be 90 - very big deal. Otherwise - not a thing for me .

I dont understand birthdays - in my world the mother should have the celebration of pushing out a child 😂... congratulations, it was 33 years ago that you ruined my vagina 😂

I’m not engaging with this thread anymore, the fact that people are still commenting on it 14 pages in is wild. I was already told I’m childish, selfish, pathetic, odd, a princess, a shit friend and more pages and pages ago. Okay I get it! I understand! Message received loud and clear. I don’t need 14 pages worth of the same comment 😂 you can crack on if you so wish but just letting you know I already have my answers and don’t need to read the same comments over and over, it’s boring now

People can feel however they want, including me feeling like it's hilarious. You got a problem with that?

This

Oh dear . Obviously doesn’t want to reply regarding her children that she had forgotten about !

So are you going to the engagement celebration?

@Sevensummers what are your three children doing for your birthday?

You sound a bit childish but also…who has an engagement party! Is it 1972?

As long as I didn't have anything already booked, I'd go. Quite often I don't celebrate my birthday on the day much and have a meal or whatever on a different day.