Agreed to something I shouldn’t have, AIBU

[whoopswhatdoido]

Months ago we agreed to cat-sit for our neighbour for 4 days while they went away. We’ve done it once before, a year ago. When she asked again in possibly January time I said no problem. We do this for free btw

I found out about a month ago that this week is going to be really busy for us and minding their cat is an extra pressure and stress that isn’t needed. I made an excuse politely then and asked my neighbour to ask her family instead. She seemed a bit annoyed and said it was only three times a day, but she would ask. Her family all have ‘a lot on’ so nobody can do it for her.

I am not the best at being assertive in these situations so I said I’m sure we can make it work, somehow. They don’t get on holiday much and I felt guilty. Anyway I was under the impression it was just to feed the cat but we have literally just found out she is on medication also which needs giving so 3 visits a day. Also the cat will need litter tray changing more frequently due to this and I’m pregnant. DH could do it but he works much longer days than me so isn’t going to be able to do the 3x a day. Longwinded way of saying we cannot do it and I’m now stressed and feeling guilty there is no way out of it. We are moving house in 3 weeks anyway so in theory don’t have to have much to do with them then but I’m possibly the biggest people pleaser going and I would always try to honour any commitment for somebody.

What can I do? They go away tomorrow. We have other neighbours who have previously done this for them before but I’m worried they’ll be annoyed at us if we don’t.

It’s only four days, if it’s clean when they leave then I wouldn’t even worry out changing the litter. What I suggest is you get a grip and learn to say no in future. letting someone down last minute isn’t on.

Too late to back out now. 3 visits a day? That's a lot, not good for you, at all , but you're stuck with it. It's a welfare issue you, can't duck it at this late stage
Poor you!
Poor cat!

I'm sure some people think cats need to be rehomed the second a woman finds out she's pregnant.

🤣🤣🤣

You agreed to once a day. They've triple that with no notice, adding medication to the mix. You're pregnant and its not even your effing cat. Frankly, id either duck out or do bare minimum and let them organise the rest. THEY are the ones who gave no notice. Not you. If you own a pet, then sorry, it costs money.

I have a cat on medication twice daily and U wouldn’t dream of asking anyone to be responsible for doing that at home, prior to him starting it yes fair enough but I now put him in a cattery where I know he ll be well looked after and given his medication when needed. The excuses she had given against the cattery are poor tbh it’s not that expensive, I send him with his own food and even if he didn’t get in with other cats it doesn’t matter as they are housed in seperate accommodation so that’s totally irrelevant. I don’t think you can avoid this time as you ve agreed and they re going tomorrow but in future they need to book a cattery well in advance

I used a cat sitter when my cat was on medication. There was no way I was putting him in a cattery so I paid for a cat sitter to come in twice a day. It cost more than a cattery but I knew he was happy at home. I’d have only asked a neighbour in an emergency

Agree with this.

You should have said no the moment you knew you were pregnant. But you’ve left it far too late for them to change their plans. Catteries and cat sitters book up fast but they might be able to find a pet sitter online with last minute availability. Otherwise you’ll have to get your husband to do the trays or wear gloves for the litter and the meds. If you’ve had contact with cats litter trays previously you’re less at risk I think but I’d still fork out for a box of disposable gloves.

I do the same and hire a professional. My neighbours always offer but I’d never put that responsibility on them.

Handling cat litter ( dirty, that is) can be extremely dangerous when pregnant. Google toxoplasmosis and tell your neighbor you are unable to help. Your unborn child has to be the priority

Op - you are pregnant and this activity is risky for your baby. That trumps everything else. I'd say absolutely refuse and don't look back. They can delay their holiday and make paid arrangements and never speak to you again. It literally does NOT matter. It's such a trivial issue I'd have no hesitation pulling out if it meant keeping my unborn baby safe.

If something were to go wrong with your baby would you look back and think you made a good decision for the sake of a cat??

They're probably back now...

@Shaldar - bit late to the party - me 😂