Agreed to something I shouldn’t have, AIBU

[whoopswhatdoido]

Months ago we agreed to cat-sit for our neighbour for 4 days while they went away. We’ve done it once before, a year ago. When she asked again in possibly January time I said no problem. We do this for free btw

I found out about a month ago that this week is going to be really busy for us and minding their cat is an extra pressure and stress that isn’t needed. I made an excuse politely then and asked my neighbour to ask her family instead. She seemed a bit annoyed and said it was only three times a day, but she would ask. Her family all have ‘a lot on’ so nobody can do it for her.

I am not the best at being assertive in these situations so I said I’m sure we can make it work, somehow. They don’t get on holiday much and I felt guilty. Anyway I was under the impression it was just to feed the cat but we have literally just found out she is on medication also which needs giving so 3 visits a day. Also the cat will need litter tray changing more frequently due to this and I’m pregnant. DH could do it but he works much longer days than me so isn’t going to be able to do the 3x a day. Longwinded way of saying we cannot do it and I’m now stressed and feeling guilty there is no way out of it. We are moving house in 3 weeks anyway so in theory don’t have to have much to do with them then but I’m possibly the biggest people pleaser going and I would always try to honour any commitment for somebody.

What can I do? They go away tomorrow. We have other neighbours who have previously done this for them before but I’m worried they’ll be annoyed at us if we don’t.

I agree with the people saying to ask your husband to change the cat litter once a day, so that you can avoid any risk to baby.
And if the medication is in tablet form, I find that putting Marmite on the pills helps with cats. The Marmite masks the taste of the pill, and most cats apparently seem to like Marmite.
However bizzare this might sound, worth a try if you find that other ways of medicating the cat haven't worked.
xx

In your OP you say " found out about a month ago that this week is going to be really busy for us and minding their cat is an extra pressure and stress that isn’t needed. I made an excuse politely then and asked my neighbour to ask her family instead. She seemed a bit annoyed and said it was only three times a day". So rather than her saying 3 x a day a month ago, which is what I'd understood, actually you found out a month ago that the week will be too busy for you however waited until yesterday to tell her?

Cancel the checque!

Your doctor would advise that you keep away from close contact with cats, it could be dangerous to your unborn baby. This is your reason for declining to do it this time.

Cancel the cheque!

why have you left it so late to cancel? You may just need to take it on the chin considering it’s so last minute. Your DH can do the medicine and cat litter once a day. You can feed them the other two times.

Can't they pay for a cat sitting service?
And were you pregnant the first time they asked you? I think it would have been completely reasonable to refuse on those grounds

Changing cat litter is fine when pregnant as long as OP wears gloves, plenty of pregnant women have cats and make it work.

Honestly it’s looking after a cat for three days. Just get on with it and don’t make your neighbour feel bad or ruin her holiday. You should never have agreed in the first place if your time is so precious you can’t commit to this . Three visits a day is ok if it’s a close neighbour only for three days!
or just go twice a day
you might need a favour yourself once the baby is born and you will need to be less flakey.

Toxoplasmosis can kill a fetus. Don’t do it!!

Re cat pill taking, it's easier if they can eat them with treats rather than trying to wrestle them to take them. Then again, they have to learn to take the treats out of your hand in the first place. I think it's a tricky one and it's a shame things have changed. I'd try and do it if I'd agreed to.

What do you expect women who already own cats to do if they become pregnant? Rehome the cat?

But it’s their cat so it’s a risk they take. This cat is on medication which apparently makes their digestive system “sensitive “. OP must put her baby first. And in fact the neighbour completely understood

As you’re pregnant you should’ve said no in the first place, cats can have toxoplasmosis. Definitely do not change the cat tray

Cmon now, do you think every woman who falls pregnant ditches her cat?

I wouldn't do 3 visits a day and I wouldn't do medication unless it was liquid in their food. It's bad enough trying to do it for my own cats! No way would I struggle with someone else's.

I'd tell her you can do 1 visit a day and can't do tablets and if that's not good enough then she can find someone else to supplement.

If only OP had not sorted it all!

No but she doesn’t know as the cat isn’t hers if it’s wormed regularly

I don't have the energy to scroll through all the comments but has anyone said that medically you're meant to avoid changing litter trays when you're pregnant?

Millions and millions of times.

Good good

And no one has said what they think cat owners with no other options should do!

What are you talking about? You just need to be careful and use gloves if touching the cat shit

You found out a month ago that feeding was 3x times a day and you've not sorted it in all that time? * presumably you were already pregnant then too?

You should not be changing cat litter trays if you are pregnant - even less so if the cat is unwell. Your neighbour could get an automatic timed cat feeder, which would help and maybe the medicine could incorporated into the feed. Is there another neighbour who could deal with the litter?