Is DD babyish? What can your DD9 do?

[purplerobot]

DD turned 9 last week and is having friendship problems.

Everyone seems to think DD is babyish for her age, including friends and other kids parents (they say it nicely). I think some of her friends are too grown up (doing skin care and wearing makeup at 9??!) so I don't know.

My eldest was far more grown up at this age but times have changed. I have babied DC9 a bit more because she's my last baby so it's probably my fault.

What can your DC9 do?

She still would play with toys if I play with her. But none of her friends play at all. She doesn't play by herself but she never really has to be fair.

She cries easily (her teacher said she's very sensitive) and she cries often.

She likes YouTube and TikTok, she likes to make her little videos but they are maybe babyish in content. She goes to brownies and she likes the park etc.

She can make herself a drink of squash and a sandwich but I do it for her usually. She can make her own bed. She can shower herself (I do her hair as it's bum length and mega thick). She can do all the other basic stuff like teeth and getting dressed lol,

She isn't very athletic so not good with scooter or bike etc but she likes to go to the park. When she plays with her friends it tends to be lots of role play, dressing up, she tries to play toys - but over the last school term it's like her friends have grown up and left her behind, they don't want to do those things anymore and now she's left out.

I have realised I do baby her a lot, I've always done everything for her and as a result she is quite young for her age. Her sibling was very different at this age.

What does your DC9 do?

AIBU: she's a child it's fine
YNBU: you baby her and it needs to stop

@Cayla3 or perhaps they have developed better emotional regulation?

This is interesting to know thank you

Yes helping around the house 100%. How is baking helping with chores. You didn’t have cutting the grass or helping with DIY did you… you went straight for baking as something that gives a little girl self esteem.
this is called everyday sexism and it should always be pointed out so people can learn that opinion is not ok.

My 10yo has started to become more independent (chores, making sandwiches etc), things that she could have done but claimed she was incapable of. But I like that she still likes to play with toys sometimes, and her 13yo brother also likes to join in when he thinks people won't find out about it. I remember at that tween age, how you're on the cusp and want to be adult but feel guilty about kid things. From what I've seen of my DD over the last year, she's matured in a lot of ways but she wants to cling on to childhood for a bit (though she is experimenting with make up etc). My kids like YouTube but they're very against SM thankfully

My 12 year old still plays with toys!! Barbies and sylvanian families. I get that she’s the older end of the spectrum but at 9, it’s absolutely normal.

My dd (9) has a sift toy she takes in her bag to school. She sleeps with it. She plays imaginary games with toys and role play games with her friends. She reads warrior cats and likes Minecraft. She reads and writes stories about animals. She makes petitions about saving wildlife.

The only thing my dd can do that yours doesn’t is wash her own hair. Also bum length. But my other dd couldn’t at 9. She can make a sandwich, toast etc and bake a cake with supervision. She packs her own school bag but needs reminders. She’s in no way behind her peers.

OP she sounds like a normal child. Don't overthink it. Her interests are fine and playing is healthy for children.

When it comes to independence just let her do what she's able to do by herself. Like tidying up after herself, putting away her clothes, getting things ready for school etc.

Your daughter sounds like a lovely 9 year old - please don't rush her to grow up! I watched a video on tiktok this week of a woman planning a 'Bluey' themed party for her 9 year old which I thought was lovely 💕

My kids are teenagers now but at 9 they were still playing with dolls and role playing a lot. Some of their friends thought they were too 'old' to do that, but most of them LOVED coming round our house to play.

My eldest had very thin hair so was washing her own hair at 9, my youngest has very thick hair so I was washing it for her, maybe not every wash but certainly every other to guarantee it actually had the shampoo washed out! When your daughter is ready for the next step she will either learn to wash it herself or asked for it to be cut - again, no need to rush this - nobody else needs to know how she washes her hair 😂

My kids are very independent and I wouldn't describe either of them as babyish. :)