Am I about to make a huge financial mistake?

[MaryMaryVeryContrary]

DP and I have 2 children. Unmarried - he proposed but kids came along and can got kicked down the road. Didn’t see the urgency - I have my own career and money, but we keep meaning to as administratively it would tie up a few loose ends.

We have been together 8 years and after 1 year I rented out my flat and moved into his house. Tried to sell my flat during covid but no interest whatsoever so rented it out again. Now it is sold and the time has come to pool our cash and buy the family home we really want.

We found a property, got an offer on his house and all seemed to be going well. 1 week before exchange we discovered our plan - for me to contribute half the funds, and for him to take out a mortgage for the other half - isn’t viable as the bank won’t lend a mortgage to a person where another person jointly owns the property. Either we go on the mortgage together or nothing.

The issue is I have (paid off, from 2014) CCJ from an unpaid parking fine; and (believing I was sensible) have never had a credit card, so my credit rating is being refused for a mortgage.

I’ve been advised to give my (huge as an inheritance - 150k) deposit to DP, he then buys the house as a sole owner and I get a deed of trust to ‘protect my share’.

I feel everyone is trying to rush me into this and while I have an appointment with a solicitor next week, I would be really grateful for any input from others on what they would do. My gut tells me this isn’t a good idea.

Well I wouldn’t give 150k to anyone. I imagine if you book a quick registry office wedding you would be more protected? Can you get a smaller mortgage or nothing at all? If you haven’t exchanged on your flat sale I’d delay for a bit.

Nah, it doesn’t sound ideal for you. Even if you popped down to the registry office next week and just legally got married would that not put you in a better position?

Did you not need a mortgage agreed in principle before you put an offer on the house?

I would pull out of the purchase and make marriage the priority at this point. Chuck the deposit money in a high-interest savings account for now.

Find a mortgage broker.
His bank might not be happy to mortgage on that basis but it is doable... it just needs a more specialist search.

Don't do it

This really should have been picked up much earlier in the process.

Your best option is to get married I think, but that's likely to take a few weeks to sort. How much of a rush is the chain in? Can everyone wait?

Your money will still be at risk though.

Do NOT get bounced into some crappy plan just because everyone is shouting at you because you’re perceived to be holding things up.

I’d not be giving anyone 150k if you’re not married and haven’t had top quality independent advice (which you seem to be getting anyway) to preserve your assets. That advice might be to marry, it might not be. I know one couple who were married but had a deed in place to protect the wife’s greater deposit on the house. When they divorced, her deposit was effectively protected.

Please don’t do this. Money can make the most loving people selfish.

Yeah. Don't do that. Who is advising you to give your £150k over? If you see yourself together long term then fine but get married before you hand the £150k over. Protect yourself.

Try a different broker.

You have had a previous mortgage and one CCJ which by the way cam be removed from the register now if fully paid and as old as yours should not mean you can't get a joint mortgage, be a joint owner with a deed reflecting your beneficial interests.

Who is telling you to do this?

I would be seeking legal and financial advice from professionals. Absolutely would not be doing this.

And how is he declaring the deposit to the mortgage company?

Don’t do it, it could seriously go wrong
I would hold off buying and spend the next 6-12 months building up your credit rating, it won’t take long
Then I would get a joint mortgage but put ownership 75-25
So you own 50% outright and pay half the mortgage on the other half

If you can’t afford the mortgage then you can go 50-50 ownership and he can pay it all but if something goes wrong you are still liable for half the mortgage

Marriage would give you more protection but you still risk losing half your money to him if something goes wrong. Better than all of it though!

Also, you said he had sold his house. Why isn’t he putting this into the purchase? You also said your 150k was inheritance. What about the money from your house? It seems you should be able to afford it anyway with the sale of 2 houses (one at least with no mortgage) and an inheritance

Did you hear this directly from the mortgage broker or did your DP pass on this information?

I would get my own independent legal advice on the mortgage situation, you phone London and Country today and get their take on it. They are free and cover the whole of the market. They are also recommended by Martin Lewis.

Would you want a quick no fuss registry office wedding?

You need your own independent legal advice.

There is nothing wrong with holding off for a while. Don't be strong armed into this.

Are you really one week away from exchanging?

I’ve had major issues with conveyancing in the last two years but if the lender has let it go this far, and the solicitor hasn’t picked it up, you need to do a proper long pause and reconsider how this works for you. I have a feeling you are missing a lot of info - that it should have been given to you - and I have certainly never seen professional standards so low, please don’t rush into anything. You might have to lose this purchase, sorry.

Not in hells chance that would I do that. Have you spoke to a mortgage broker? You may have to look at specialist lenders which would likely give you a poor mortgage to start with but then when it's time to renew you should be able to get a better one. That's what we had to do.

A CCJ from that long ago should matter that much as long as you have a good credit score now. Can you hold off on the plan and spent 6 months building your credit score by getting a decent credit card and spending and paying it off on it.

Don’t do anything hasty !

see Another mortgage broker
look into getting married just for legal protection.
don’t be hasty !

Hell no! My now husband 'gifted' me some deposit. This was 6 weeks before getting married. I could have turned around and said 'on your bike' and it would have been there in black and white as a gift. Get married.

Don't do it! There must be other mortgage options. I wouldn't give £150k to anyone, trusting they'd keep it for me, even if married!

Get independent advice from a solicitor and/or broker if you need to.

It might be the time to get married - but I'd still see if I could protect that £150k inheritance within the marriage, just in case things go wrong.

It seems your only option is a Declaration of Trust but you would HAVE to make sure it's registered at Land Registry - also make sure the solicitor who advises you and helps with this is not also acting for your DP as there's an obvious conflict.
I'd suggest seeing another mortgage broker as a CCJ from 10 years ago shouldn't be this problematic esp with a large deposit so that sounds odd. Even if you go on the mortgage you will need a declaration of trust and probably a cohabitation agreement too setting out you get credit for your deposit, who pays the mortgage, and how proceeds would be divided if you sold/separated etc.

Sorry I should have added that it was nowhere near 150k.

Getting married got kicked down the road already. This is not the time to kick it down further. Once you’ve handed this money over you are in a very weak position. If anything went wrong you would have to fight to get that money back through legal fees. Just get married first.

This.

You need independent legal advice but you need everything all sewn up before you give him any money (if you do).

A quick registry office wedding sounds the best idea so far but you need your own advice.

DP earns twice as much as me but has had no gifts or inheritances so started with a small deposit and doesn’t have as much equity as me.

I don’t want to hand over all my money to a house I wouldn’t own but only have an interest in the proceeds of sale. While things are fine now what if he wanted to sell further down the line and I didn’t or vice versa? What if he had an accident, there would be no right of survivorship? I just feel it would make things complicated. I want joint ownership on the house I live in in return for the money I contribute, end of.

Just see what solicitor says next week rather than take advice off here
then you in your options