Am I about to make a huge financial mistake?

[MaryMaryVeryContrary]

DP and I have 2 children. Unmarried - he proposed but kids came along and can got kicked down the road. Didn’t see the urgency - I have my own career and money, but we keep meaning to as administratively it would tie up a few loose ends.

We have been together 8 years and after 1 year I rented out my flat and moved into his house. Tried to sell my flat during covid but no interest whatsoever so rented it out again. Now it is sold and the time has come to pool our cash and buy the family home we really want.

We found a property, got an offer on his house and all seemed to be going well. 1 week before exchange we discovered our plan - for me to contribute half the funds, and for him to take out a mortgage for the other half - isn’t viable as the bank won’t lend a mortgage to a person where another person jointly owns the property. Either we go on the mortgage together or nothing.

The issue is I have (paid off, from 2014) CCJ from an unpaid parking fine; and (believing I was sensible) have never had a credit card, so my credit rating is being refused for a mortgage.

I’ve been advised to give my (huge as an inheritance - 150k) deposit to DP, he then buys the house as a sole owner and I get a deed of trust to ‘protect my share’.

I feel everyone is trying to rush me into this and while I have an appointment with a solicitor next week, I would be really grateful for any input from others on what they would do. My gut tells me this isn’t a good idea.

If you don’t die within 7 years of the gift then it does not form part of your estate for inheritance tax purposes.

Ok so that's a data breach. That could be very nasty for the parking company if you choose to pursue it . Personally I'd start digging....

Actually I've heard of Private Parking companies fabricating CCJ papers so worth checking with the courts to validate.

Which parking company are we talking about op?

Go to your local registry office tomorrow and give notice, you can be married in a month, that's what me and my DH did 20 yrs ago for the same reasons.

All that will do is ensure that he now is legally entitled to half her £150k, it doesn’t protect her equity.

If you used a mortgage broker prior to this post then they did a shoddy job. You shouldn’t have gotten to a week before exchange before finding this out. In any case, the solicitor can draw up a deed to protect your 150k, yes, but if the mortgage is in his name and things go sour between you (let’s hope not) and he or you want to sell up then you only get your 150k back but he will get any increase in market value as the property mortgage is in his name. I’d tread carefully on this one if I were you. If you’re happy to walk away with what you put in, even if it’s years later, then fine. Either that or you stall moving in together til you get your credit rating up and then go joint mortgage. Or he could get a 2 year fix and then you go on after that once you have got your credit rating up, but still, I wouldn’t fancy it in your shoes.

Why would being married protect you?
If you’re married first and hand the £150k over how are you better protected if you split? It’ll just become a marital asset and surely he’ll be entitled to half of it?

what about if you put the house only in your name, invested your money and had him sign as creditor for your mortgage, then charge him rent that covers the mortgage costs so no running into difficulties later.

To do this you may need to do a 1/60 and buy a different type of house to do this, one that can offer you the security of an income if life doesn’t go to plan later on. For example something with a granny flat that doesn’t come with garden/garage, or fixer-upper with a garage you can convert to a one bed rental, or even a property where you can knock a door into a downstairs window and somehow turn it into a private entry bed site to cover your share of food costs/bills if need be.

I know that last bit (second income generator when you’re buying a family home) is a bit of an abstract idea a few may feel the need to slam me for, but just adding it on - thinking outside the box in case it opens up new ideas unconnected…or not.

OP please do protect yourself first and foremost financially if you can. That way you will be benefiting all of your immediate family long term.

Stick to your guns and go to your solicitor too. So glad you’re on here posting for advice and listening to your intuition and not immediately giving everything over.
Good luck. Hope all goes well.

A.work colleague had a deed of trust with his girlfriend. He pretty much paid for the house. Within 2 years she kicked him out falselly accusing him.of domestic abuse and tried to keep the house. He spent years and lots of money fighting to get his house back .
My point is that the deed of trust isn't easy to enforce

No don’t do it. And have you fully explored this mortgage issue? As my friend and partner bought a house, his parents gifted him the money for his half and my friend took out a mortgage for her half, so it can be done.

Most, if not all, mortgage lenders insist that the the people named on the mortgage match those named on the deeds. It’s much easier then if they have to repossess the property at some point in the future.

Get married as soon as possible.

Also consult a solicitor. Maybe look to rent instead of buy if you don’t want to hand over your cash - I wouldn’t blame you.

Get married.

Getting married will benefit her DP more than the OP, it’d just make her £150k a natural asset and ensure he’d be automatically entitled to 50% of it. You’re assuming she’s the one financially worse off here which is incorrect.

Do not get married

Do not do ANYTHING without taking independent legal advice on how to protect your own assets , as you may need it if the worst happens

Always put on your own mask first and protect your assets

You say this about him… but also this:

It does feel this way. He’s got loads of strengths (probably does more childcare/housework than me, v loyal, reasonable in arguments, I’m disabled and he’s a very patient carer) but the one area he falls down in is general life planning and finances. I make all the big decisions and end up doing the admin/paperwork/planning ahead because he’s utterly useless.

he sounds like a great guy overall if a bit of a div.

I’m a div. Not married to my partner and with a child together. if i thought he was worried about me trying to get to his savings in this way when we were trying to get our family home together….i’d have left. And he earns a lot kore than double what i so he’d have had a lot more reason to feel this way.

You could easily get a joint mortgage. If you have a property resulting in a good rental year there should be no problem. A parking CcJ is no big deal.

No no no no way. It sounds like the solicitor/broker just wants to get paid, not that they are doing the right thing. Make sure that finances sure sorted. There needs to be an ownership percentage showing that you own the paid half and he owns the mortgage half.

If you have been together for eight years without getting married, it's fairly safe to bet that at least one of you has no intention of doing so.

Getting married isn’t actually the issue or necessarily the solution here, the OP is financially better off than her DP.

Do not proceed with this plan, your name needs to be on the property deeds. Speak with a financial/property lawyer, and have in writing all the money you are putting in, have an agreement drawn up that in the event of a split any money you’ve put in you would get back plus your half of the sale. (I’m not an expert obviously) but make sure you have a will sorted(money for children etc). And you need to make sure that your assets are being protected, I would not want to put money into a house that isn’t in my name also. I hope this all works and you and family are happy and you get your home x

Speak to your solicitor and get a pre nup sorted and then get married.

Get a different broker mine is amazing what you have described would /should not be an issue for you to go on the mortgage

Hmmn. OP wants financial security. I completely understand that.

OP is looking ahead to when they split up.

I sort of understand having two children, if you want two children.

But it sort of seems like life is making the best of a bad job.

OP and partner are not a team. They're never going to make it lifelong.

The questions she should be really asking are is it better we split now or in 10 years (because he's earning double right now), what pension provisions do I need to make, and how do I ensure I keep a roof over my head without the financial support from a partner who is earning double?

Or basically how do I protect my singular asset and make sure he pays for everything until we split.

Because assuming he's earning 40k, and she's earning 20k, and not turning it into a maths puzzle - after 8 years together, he's added an extra 160k to their relationship. She brings 150k that was inherited, not earned or suggested capability to earn.

This!

@oldperson that only works if he hasn't paid any tax.

Hi @MaryMaryVeryContrary it’s been a few months since your post. What was the outcome of your situation?