Am I about to make a huge financial mistake?

[MaryMaryVeryContrary]

DP and I have 2 children. Unmarried - he proposed but kids came along and can got kicked down the road. Didn’t see the urgency - I have my own career and money, but we keep meaning to as administratively it would tie up a few loose ends.

We have been together 8 years and after 1 year I rented out my flat and moved into his house. Tried to sell my flat during covid but no interest whatsoever so rented it out again. Now it is sold and the time has come to pool our cash and buy the family home we really want.

We found a property, got an offer on his house and all seemed to be going well. 1 week before exchange we discovered our plan - for me to contribute half the funds, and for him to take out a mortgage for the other half - isn’t viable as the bank won’t lend a mortgage to a person where another person jointly owns the property. Either we go on the mortgage together or nothing.

The issue is I have (paid off, from 2014) CCJ from an unpaid parking fine; and (believing I was sensible) have never had a credit card, so my credit rating is being refused for a mortgage.

I’ve been advised to give my (huge as an inheritance - 150k) deposit to DP, he then buys the house as a sole owner and I get a deed of trust to ‘protect my share’.

I feel everyone is trying to rush me into this and while I have an appointment with a solicitor next week, I would be really grateful for any input from others on what they would do. My gut tells me this isn’t a good idea.

I also recommend L&C

And strongly advise you NOT to rush into anything - house purchase, marriage, giving away money - without some independent legal advice to you on your own.

Far better to pull out of this purchase than get bounced into it and regret it hugely.

Why stay with someone you don't want to marry because you don't trust them, can't speak coherently- how do you put up with that, and now is trying to shaft you?

I was advised by a financial advisor to get a credit card. Use it for 3 months paying it off each time in order to improve my credit rating to get a mortgage.
I did this and it worked.

So OP, I wouldn’t use your money for a deposit for a property not in your name I’d improve my credit rating

You have asked what we would do - well, I would do exactly as you said

'I want joint ownership on the house I live in in return for the money I contribute, end of.'

Him earning more than you cannot be compared to you putting in all your money. You can put in your money, you cannot make him share his income.

Sounds like you need some independent financial advice. Possibly reinvest your money into another property, which you rent out and ensure it is left to your children. Use the rent to cover your part of the mortgage?

Be very wary OP - even if you can’t see a split coming now, you could find yourself in this position in 10 years, and you’ve transferred all your assets to your DP without the legal protections of marriage. You are right to be cautious.

I would seek legal advice and be putting into a contract that if needed when the house sells you get back your 150k before splitting anything else. I don’t think a Ccj from 2014 would cause any problems now.

I will. My mum and dad split after 20 years. In that time she was an unmarried SAHM to lots of kids and he built a v successful business in that time. They split and he sold the business and she didn’t get a penny it all went to his new wife (who got the ring on her finger) and her kids!!

I suggest you open one or two credit cards and start to establish a credit rating.

Can’t you own the house but not be on the mortgage? You put in the deposit, husband gets the mortgage but you both go on the deeds as joint owner?
And go get a cheap wedding

I agree and have already suggested this. Having one's own good credit rating (and a credit card or two) is very useful to anyone in case of emergency

Relieved to hear you're standing firm OP. I'd absolutely have a chat with the mortgage broker directly (my broker, the first that comes up on a Google search, was always happy to talk to either of us if we rang and in fact was keen to hear from both of us) and if necessary get a solicitor or independent financial advice. Keep trusting that instinct!

A D of T is of benefit to you but not to your partner.

Property can be held as joint tenants or tenants in common. You should hold it as Tenants in Common but need a D of T to ring-fence your contribution.

Tbh I wouldn't marry. Its likely in a divorce that money may not be ringfenced. Inheritance is a grey area, and whether it's taken into account in a divorce settlement depends on how much money there is to go around.

Take independent legal advice to protectyourfinances. Not from a solicitor advising you both.

I agree. OP, work on improving your credit rating first and make sure you can get on the title deeds and mortgage.

If he is the sole owner, he can do a quick sale and abscond with the proceeds, behind your back. You can put an alert on the title deeds and notice on the title (a conveyancer can explain) but it is not foolproof nor a guarantee you can stop the sale in time.

You will lose the house you are looking to buy but there will be another better one waiting just round the corner. By then, your feelings about this bloke will become clearer.

To me it is a amber signal (not quite red flag yet) that you somehow do not trust this man. Trust your gut instinct. Do not merge finances unless you are prepared to marry him for better or worse. Get lawyers involved in the paperwork.

My then-DP (now DH) gave me an enormous sum of money for our house with no deed of trust. We had one child with another on the way at the time. Unfortunately, he couldn't get on the mortgage due to our unusual visa situation.

We are now married but the house is in my name. However, I know deep in my heart that I'd never screw anyone over even if the worst happened.

I wouldn't be doing that either. That's crazy! I'm glad you're a sensible person with your wits about you.

You can apply for your CCJ to come off your credit file after 6 years as long as it's been paid/settled, so this won't then impact your credit rating.

Nope not buying it. No one is that incompetent. I smell a fish. You’re right to protect your money. Him earning twice the amount you do, does not equate to £150k

Have you shopped around different banks. We bought our property in a similar way- my DP contributed 50% of value and I (solely) took a mortgage on the other half. My DP wasn’t even a UK resident at the time. A broker made it sound complicated so I went directly to the banks and had no issue. Shop around.

I must say that this concerns me a bit. You’re engaged, have children together, and are in the process of purchasing a home together. But you say you don’t want to marry him, despite being engaged.

Do you ever want to marry him? Should you really be buying property with him? If you can’t get on this mortgage, the house will sadly have to go while you raise your credit score. Perhaps you can use this time to re-assess your thoughts regarding marriage and joint property ownership, given your reticence in the comment above.

As you know, you can get a prenup stating that all pre-marriage assets stay with the original owners.

In the meantime, as others have said, get your credit score in order. A good credit score is really important when something comes up, ie, finding out that you’ll need to be on this mortgage, needing to finance a new car, etc. Getting a credit card and putting something small, like your mobile bill or Netflix bill on it, and paying the credit card balance in full every month, is an easy way to raise your score. I’m somewhat surprised that you only found out your credit score this week. I would recommend checking it at least 4x per year and staying on top of it.

Sounds like your head is in the sand on a few topics and it may be worth addressing some of these issues head-on.

Pull out. Get advice first and get married.

Could I just ask, if he’s had an offer in his house, does he have any equity ? Does he need half of the amount as a mortgage?

Ok so I’ve just done the credit checks and my score is ‘fair’. I’ve informed DP that unless I can take out a mortgage with him and be a joint owner of the property, the purchase isn’t happening. He’s insisting he informed the broker of our position so I offered to phone them myself to complain. Now he’s squirming.

@MaryMaryVeryContrary In light of what you say here, I would be concerned that he hasn't in fact, told you the truth which is why he is now squirming. You are clearly already clued up about protecting your own interests, but if it were me, this would harden my resolve!! It sounds to me like he simply doesn't want the house in your name at all?

You are all but married and have 2 children. Honestly get married, pop to local registry office and do it and have big wedding later when ready. This is the reason why marriage exists tbh. It is is legal construct that creates a family unit where who brings what in becomes to an extent irrelevant assuming that you both contribute to the family unit (can be money, can be being primary child care giver etc, ). You also have rights as next of kin which are very important when you have children. Do this before you buy the house and your problem is solved.

I wouldn't go to a bank for a mortgage. They're not usually the best offers on the market or the best lenders overall. Maybe that's why you couldn't get the mortgage.

I'm slightly confused by the wording - just to clarify, is the 150 lump sum from the sale of your flat or is it an inheritance?

In any case you need independent legal advice. You might find it helpful to jot down some questions beforehand, of various scenarios, such as what be the situation if I got married / didn't get married; name on mortgage / not on mortgage; loan / gift / equity; tenants in common / joint tenants; if / he / I died: advantages and disadvantages, implications and liabilities, ways to mitigate or protect and enforce legal rights or claims, and effects on children and inheritance in each of those cases?