Am I about to make a huge financial mistake?

[MaryMaryVeryContrary]

DP and I have 2 children. Unmarried - he proposed but kids came along and can got kicked down the road. Didn’t see the urgency - I have my own career and money, but we keep meaning to as administratively it would tie up a few loose ends.

We have been together 8 years and after 1 year I rented out my flat and moved into his house. Tried to sell my flat during covid but no interest whatsoever so rented it out again. Now it is sold and the time has come to pool our cash and buy the family home we really want.

We found a property, got an offer on his house and all seemed to be going well. 1 week before exchange we discovered our plan - for me to contribute half the funds, and for him to take out a mortgage for the other half - isn’t viable as the bank won’t lend a mortgage to a person where another person jointly owns the property. Either we go on the mortgage together or nothing.

The issue is I have (paid off, from 2014) CCJ from an unpaid parking fine; and (believing I was sensible) have never had a credit card, so my credit rating is being refused for a mortgage.

I’ve been advised to give my (huge as an inheritance - 150k) deposit to DP, he then buys the house as a sole owner and I get a deed of trust to ‘protect my share’.

I feel everyone is trying to rush me into this and while I have an appointment with a solicitor next week, I would be really grateful for any input from others on what they would do. My gut tells me this isn’t a good idea.

So you think he's been dishonest about what's happened up to now, resulting in a situation where your "only" option is to give him £150k?! I think you need to step right back for a while. There's no rush, the market's falling, so waiting might turn out to be a good thing anyway. Don't let anyone put pressure on you.

I don't think a now paid off parking fine would stop you getting a mortgage.

You definitely need to get married before entering into this arrangement.

Ah, having now read your updates, yes, that now just looks like an incompetent (at best) DP problem, so no need for all the complexity, get a different broker/mortgage offer and crack on.

You may however still want a deed of trust in floating shares as you can use this to protect your investment if you do end up contributing to the mortgage/repairs/renovations etc in future, rather than simply fixing the percentages at the time of purchase. You will know better what will be in your best interests here...

Can you not have the property and mortgage in both your names and you put a deed of trust in place that states if you should separate you get your 150k plus the % of any increase in the value of the property and then you would pay off the remaining mortgage and split any extra between the two of you?

This is utter nonsense. A satisfied CCJ more than 6 years old can come off your record.
secondly you own a property and paid all bills for that.
if that is all there is - there is absolutely NO reason for a bank not to lend money. None

Find a proper broker and get this house purchase in both names with a declaration of trust reflecting your larger share.

This is all so odd.

Your DP should be able to take out a mortgage (or port) on his own for the property as long as you (The co-purchaser) legally acknowledge the mortgage. Typically this would be signing the mortgage deed, but you would need to make sure that only the applicant (your DP) was liable for payments. Some lenders like the top tier may squirm a bit, but more specialist should be willing. DP wouldn’t be able to port though, with will incur early repayment charges if the initial term isn’t out.

Given your feelings on your finances currently, I would consider being Tenants in Common rather than Joint Tenants and get a Will in place for both you and DP at the same time.

This is my industry, based on what you said also, there should be absolutely no issue getting you on the mortgage as applicant 2 either.

Wishing you the best!

Absolutely not. It would be a really really stupid thing to do.

Your reasons are valid.

This doesn't sound good at all.

Might be a case of rethinking the relationship as well as the house-buy.

Let him squirm. Do not go any further on any of this before you both have a joint conversation with the broker, and also get some legal advice on the best way forward to protect your money.

If you did transfer the money to him I think it might fall under the same rules as when parents try to give kids a deposit, it has to be made a gift you can’t have any right to it? Be very careful, unless you’re on the mortgage and your money is protected you’re right to go no further.

I don’t think you’d necessarily be denied a mortgage anyway, get your own advice on the CCJ.

If your DP has been so incompetent to get this far without this issue coming to light you can’t let him carry on being in charge of all this, get across everything yourself, I wouldn’t trust anything he says tbh!

You won't be refused a mortgage for a parking fine! Get yourself a broker, and make sure you're both involved in the discussions. Definitely don't go down the route he's suggesting. If he's trying to pull the wool over your eyes to get you to agree to this, then you've got bigger issues to deal with

And if the CCJ was paid off in 2014, it shouldn't still show on OP's credit file.

It sounds like he’s trying to port his existing mortgage (perhaps still on a very low interest rate compared to what they are now). It’s highly plausible that his current bank will not allow him to port and you to join it. I find it highly implausible that you wouldn’t be able to take out any new mortgage together at all.

FWIW DH and I wanted to port our old mortgage (on low interest) but weren’t allowed because of my job situation (mat leave and going PT). We did get another through L&C though.

If you have 150 k why didn't you have a small wedding?

Is he squirming becuse he hasn't actually tried to get you on the mortgage? There might be a reason he can't keep the existing mortgage and add you, but it's not your credit history.

Why are people telling a woman with a £150K inheritance to marry someone who doesn't have any money?

OP, I really wouldn't do this. I think it would be a HUGE mistake.

Agreed!!

Ok. This should be an easy thing to do as Mr Monkey and I did this when we bought our flat.

He was providing a deposit similar to yours and I paid the stamp duty and conveyancing costs. We got the mortgage based on my income and agreed I would pay the mortgage we needed to make up the purchase price (pretty much the same amount as the cash he provided).

We are also unmarried.

What we did is get the mortgage in both our names with him as zero income (he was contracting at the time), bought as tenants in common and drew up a deed of trust to recognise both of our contributions in the event of relationship breakdown.

Once the mortgage is paid off we will see a solicitor and redo the ownership as joint tenants.

The only difference is we both had very good credit ratings.

Also, I don't think you can both "gift" a deposit and have a right to get it back or an interest in the property?

Usually it's parents who give a deposits, and they have to sign to say that it's an outright gift and they don't expect it back, don't they?

Their son or daughter can get a deed of trust to protect it from their partner in a split, but I'm not sure you can give a deposit and protect it for yourself.

No, I don't think she should marry him, it sounds like he's been dishonest tbh and the whole thing might need review. But if she does go into an arrangement where she gives £150k to a house purchase in his name (which she shouldn't) she needs to marry him first.

I don’t want to marry him because then he will have access to my 150k

There are other (arguably better ) ways to legally protect her money than marriage

See a broker. This shouldn't be a difficult to sort in a way that protects both of you.

I don't think you can "protect" a deposit though, as PPs have said. A mortgage lender won't lend if someone else has a claim on the equity the deposit creates.

If she's on the mortgage I think it can be ringfenced. If it's handed over for only his name then it has to be signed as a gift.

I take back my previous thoughts on getting married. He sounds disorganised at best, shady and manipulating this for his own benefit at worst.

He will anyway if you give it to him to buy a house in his name. The mortgage lender won't let you retain a claim on the deposit.

Exactly, these are my feelings.

I don’t want to marry him right now and I don’t want to give him my money.

I trust him - but then every woman who ends up in a bad situation felt that way didn’t they?

He’s actually fine with me not going ahead with it and hasn’t tried to talk me out of it at all. I think he just doesn’t want to lose the house