Am I about to make a huge financial mistake?

[MaryMaryVeryContrary]

DP and I have 2 children. Unmarried - he proposed but kids came along and can got kicked down the road. Didn’t see the urgency - I have my own career and money, but we keep meaning to as administratively it would tie up a few loose ends.

We have been together 8 years and after 1 year I rented out my flat and moved into his house. Tried to sell my flat during covid but no interest whatsoever so rented it out again. Now it is sold and the time has come to pool our cash and buy the family home we really want.

We found a property, got an offer on his house and all seemed to be going well. 1 week before exchange we discovered our plan - for me to contribute half the funds, and for him to take out a mortgage for the other half - isn’t viable as the bank won’t lend a mortgage to a person where another person jointly owns the property. Either we go on the mortgage together or nothing.

The issue is I have (paid off, from 2014) CCJ from an unpaid parking fine; and (believing I was sensible) have never had a credit card, so my credit rating is being refused for a mortgage.

I’ve been advised to give my (huge as an inheritance - 150k) deposit to DP, he then buys the house as a sole owner and I get a deed of trust to ‘protect my share’.

I feel everyone is trying to rush me into this and while I have an appointment with a solicitor next week, I would be really grateful for any input from others on what they would do. My gut tells me this isn’t a good idea.

Are you going to speak to the broker? I think you need to find out for yourself what's gone on, regardless of whether you proceed with the purchase.

Then I wouldn't get married either. Just how long do you think you are going to last with someone who cannot be clear (or pass on) information about a legal situation that you really, really NEEDED to be aware of?

Was it actually deliberate on his part or that weaponised incompetence or is he truly a dumb person and you didn't realise because of love? How long can you cope with being driven fucking bonkers?

PS - don't hand over the money. See your own solicitor and get it legally tied up in a pretty bow.

Look don't give him the money or marry him which is the same as giving him half. I'd talk to the broker myself. Your partner sounds a bit thick or a bit sly to me. I am paid to deal with people who are probably lying to me on a regular basis and, as a result, I am quite suspicious and, unfortunarely, almost always right. Giving him 150,000 pounds to buy a house in his name only when he isn't coming up with any cash towards the deposit would be setting off klaxons for me.

He sounds extremely shady.

I would strongly suggest that you take out a JOINT mortgage, which includes say 100k of your deposit
You keep 50k savings for yourself
Some estate agents have free financial advisors that you can speak to in person about mortgages

Then in the future if you split, the proceeds would be split 50/50 for the property

A 10 year old CCJ shouldn't still be on record, I knew someone (close relative) that had a house repossessed and 10 years later got a mortgage- a far bigger debt than a parking ticket.

Get a better mortgage advisor

It sounds like you haven't actually applied for a mortgage together? This would be my first step if you both want to keep the house. Use a broker if you feel your credit rating is going to be a barrier to some lenders.

Not a fucking chance. Why does all this have to happen right now? Why can't life be paused to improve your credit score, find an agreed way forward and house hunt after it's sorted? There will always be other homes.

Marry in haste, regret at leisure. Applies to buying a house or any big decision.

The decision to hand over money doesnt need to happen at all, certainly not with this pressure. It can all slow down and be done again once the finances are in order.

There are plenty of houses of your dreams OP, you already have a roof. Give it another few years and invest that money wisely.
I wouldn't sign a thing. Too much hassle.
There are plenty of easier ways to buy a house.

You can overcome the credit reference agency thing and both go on the mortgage.

Does this whole thread make anyone else feel like they are taking crazy pills?

I am a mortgage broker. What credit file have you checked? Your score on the file means very little. What date was the ccj registered? How much for? What date did you clear it?

Just one ccj from 2014 and no other credit issues assuming it fits on affordability should be okay (not necessarily with every lender) but certainly a high lender. In fact they only stay in your file for 6 years so you can get it removed.

I presume your partner applied for the mortgage in his name and forgot to say exactly what he was expecting to happen. Your idea is a common idea but it cannot be done.

Which lender is he with?

No I wouldn’t gift him the equity - not a chance. If you split and you don’t get your money back, how would that impact you?

If you don’t want to marry a man who is your partner of 8 years, with whom you’ve two children, and who is on a good salary why are you with him? And why are you buying a house with him.

Clearly getting married is the best solution. But you want to dismiss that advice.

Or suggest joint borrower - sole proprietor? Only you on the deeds (assuming you pass score for a lender who does joint borrower sole proprietor. You can change that once it’s paid off.

have I understood correctly - he would own the house (with a mortgage) you would fund the deposit - but not own a share of the house, just your ring fenced 150k?
So presuming the house will increase in value, where is your share of that equity, as you do not own the house?
In 20 years time, will you just 'own' your 150k?

No no no! Find another way even if it means losing out on the house.

We did the deed of trust for a different set of reasons and I still believe it works to protect you effectively. In our case I had the mortgage and the property but gifted the share to dh equal to his contribution. We have taken advice from various lawyers over the years and it does seem to be a sound approach. But get legal advice on it.

You can put a % share in the trust so you do share in the increase in value.

Would it be better to be tenants in common?

I don't understand how you got as far as one week from exchange without having this all sorted? Didn't the estate agent ask for your agreement in principle and proof of funds as soon as your offer was accepted? Why has the solicitor not picked up on this issue before now?

We are married so our situation is different, but we took out a mortgage in both our names but based only on dh's salary. We bought the property as tenants in common, specifying the proportion we each owned relative to the amount we were each contributing. Could you do something similar?

This is the only well informed response.

i speak from having had (widowed now) a perfect beautiful solid trust marriage. DO NOT DO THIS. Don't be rushed into anything, don't get married just to get the house bought. Have you thought about getting yourself a credit card to get a credit score? Yes it will delay things. Take legal advice, talk to mortgage brokers, but don't hand over the cash unless you are SURE its a rock solid idea.

MaryMaryVeryContrary,
Have you seen your credit file? That CCJ should be done with.
If you haven't seen it, perhaps you should.

Inheritance isn't always a marital asset and can be protected by a prenuptial agreement. Assuming you sort out the mortgage so you are both on it and the house is jointly owned (which should be straightforward) then I would recommend you marry so that, in the unlikely event that one of you dies, the other doesn't have to be treated as a third party, which includes everything from paying inheritance tax to not being treated as a next of kin by the bank etc.

So say you get married.
you put £150k in, split up, £100k left on mortgage when you sell, you’ll be liable for half of that even though you’ve paid your ‘half’