Am I about to make a huge financial mistake?

[MaryMaryVeryContrary]

DP and I have 2 children. Unmarried - he proposed but kids came along and can got kicked down the road. Didn’t see the urgency - I have my own career and money, but we keep meaning to as administratively it would tie up a few loose ends.

We have been together 8 years and after 1 year I rented out my flat and moved into his house. Tried to sell my flat during covid but no interest whatsoever so rented it out again. Now it is sold and the time has come to pool our cash and buy the family home we really want.

We found a property, got an offer on his house and all seemed to be going well. 1 week before exchange we discovered our plan - for me to contribute half the funds, and for him to take out a mortgage for the other half - isn’t viable as the bank won’t lend a mortgage to a person where another person jointly owns the property. Either we go on the mortgage together or nothing.

The issue is I have (paid off, from 2014) CCJ from an unpaid parking fine; and (believing I was sensible) have never had a credit card, so my credit rating is being refused for a mortgage.

I’ve been advised to give my (huge as an inheritance - 150k) deposit to DP, he then buys the house as a sole owner and I get a deed of trust to ‘protect my share’.

I feel everyone is trying to rush me into this and while I have an appointment with a solicitor next week, I would be really grateful for any input from others on what they would do. My gut tells me this isn’t a good idea.

How could you get to a week before exchange without a mortgage offer? Unless you were telling everyone it was a cash purchase and they only discovered it wasn't when you were asked to transfer your funds, this doesn't seem likely at all.

Have you got a copy of your credit file? The CCJ shouldn't be on there anymore.

How did you get to a week from exchange without a mortgage offer? I don't get that part.

But yes you need to find a lender who will lend to both of you. It should be doable, you may pay higher interest rates but you're not borrowing a lot. And it would be worth it to make sure you have a share. You still need to protect your deposit even if you're on the mortgage and jointly own the property though.

Tbh I reckon DP failed to make our situation clear to the broker. He mumbles, isn’t a clear person and it drives me fucking bonkers. He can’t now rush me.

I’d be worried that it’s only came up a week before so that you feel rushed or backed into a corner and make a hasty decision. Take time to consider your options, if this house falls through there will be others.

Oops. That second sentence says more than a thousand words.

The third sentence is correct.

If he’s lost you both this house because he’s ‘not a clear person’ then that’s an excellent lesson for him - both in good adulting and also learning that you have very sharp eyes, and no flies on you 🙂

What has your solicitor been told? Who is going on the conveyance?

In short - yes absolutely no way should you be doing anything with your assets that you aren’t comfortable with, and you don’t even have to give a reason, and making up for his lack of clarity certainly will never be a reason.

I will refrain from discussing that it has struck me how useful being ‘not a clear person, oops!’ could potentially have been to him in this situation, and how extra glad I am that you are, from the start, setting out your stall as having absolutely no truck with it.

Yes, sounds like it's his fuck up and now he wants OP to take a massive risk to prevent him losing face as much as the house.

There are loads of survivalist lenders and building societies who would consider lending to you, at decent rates. Get another broker

I voted wrong!

You are not being unreasonable!

This is a moment where I have to stop myself having an anxiety attack about a complete stranger 😱😱😱😱😱

YOU have a massive financial interest in this.

You should not be leaving it up to someone else!

If you are going to invest in property, that needs to be in a document that is financially and legally recognised.

DO NOT HAND OVER MONEY WITHOUT LEGAL PROTECTION.

You are NOT one week away from exchange.

You are probably nowhere near exchange. Not even spitting distance.

You are simply going along with what he has told you. Why?

I need smelling salts. 😭

Wow. Seek advice from somewhere better than MN.
It could work, but you need qualified advice from qualified people.

I just realised..

Is all the crappy "information" about your credit record and so on coming from him?

The mortgage application wouldn't even happen without tons of checks. If you're still talking about what DP has "told" a broker verbally, rather than lots of documents supplied, then nothing is happening at all except him asking you for £150k.

It does feel this way. He’s got loads of strengths (probably does more childcare/housework than me, v loyal, reasonable in arguments, I’m disabled and he’s a very patient carer) but the one area he falls down in is general life planning and finances. I make all the big decisions and end up doing the admin/paperwork/planning ahead because he’s utterly useless.

She says in her op she's getting legal advice next week, she's just asking opinions.

No, I have used 2 credit checkers. But I understand your point!

Yes I just feel the solicitor may present me with a bunch of options and say ‘on one hand this on the other hand that’ but I wanted real life ‘what would you do’ type replies

But did you talk to the broker yourself?

No. He is/was porting the mortgage from this house to the next. As far as I was aware I would just pay my half and that would be that. I wasn’t taking out the mortgage so I didn’t see the need.

Did this advice come from your partner?

Don’t worry I won’t! I actually got the CCJ from buying a useless boyfriend a car which he then parked all over the place (I was STUPID). I’m now very meticulous about knowing what I’m getting into. The fact we’re not married suited me right now as I have more equity and he has twice my salary, so in the event of a split I keep my equity rather than going halves with him when he earns far more. I haven’t been sloppy and careless, and I definitely won’t be pushed into this.

Ok so I’ve just done the credit checks and my score is ‘fair’. I’ve informed DP that unless I can take out a mortgage with him and be a joint owner of the property, the purchase isn’t happening. He’s insisting he informed the broker of our position so I offered to phone them myself to complain. Now he’s squirming.

But there would be a need, if you're paying anything towards a property, it has to be legally documented.

sorry but you have completely relied on your partner to tell you stuff. This is not how a massive transaction works.

I was also puzzled because ring fencing the money of an individual happens all the time.

A CCJ from that long ago would have no impact on getting a mortgage. You are in a better position getting one due to the amount of equity you have. If he is getting the mortgage be careful they don’t request you sign anything saying it’s a gift to him.

With his mumbling, just check he has actually wants to get married

A deed of trust, supported by a restriction on the property entry at the land registry, is basically fine as long as there are no issues with the mortgage - your priority for recovering your money would come after the bank, but this is the same in a normal mortgage.

You do (or at least, it can certainly be drafted so that you do) own (in this case a share of) the property with a deed of trust - it's just that you own it in equity, not in law, but that distinction is a technical legal one and rarely matters in practice. It is important to get the appropriate restriction registered on the title to the property though.

What does matter is having a very thorough and comprehensive deed of trust drawn up that covers all the scenarios you are thinking about and then some. You might need to do your own research on this - I have seen very poor quality deeds of trust drawn up by solicitors, so think through all the "what ifs" if things were to go wrong in the relationship and make sure all those scenarios are covered in the deed of trust, including the points about rights of sale etc.

If he dies is the more difficult one - you'd still own your share, but the rest would depend on his will or intestacy, and also obviously without being married there is the risk of inheritance tax depending how expensive the property is and your other assets.

What I'm a little confused about is why a 2014 CCJ is still on your credit file at all (they should lapse after 6 years), so maybe look into that.

Also, if you want to be a legal owner/on the mortgage, then you might investigate other brokers for worse credit mortgages - the rate will be higher, but it might be possible to find one that will accept you.