Page 5 | Women with rich husbands looking down noses at others

Ifyouholdonforonemoreday · 2024-06-07T19:22:46+00:00

It bugs me! I live in a v wealthy area, lots of mum friends of mine don’t work, lovely people, husbands earn enough, fantastic situation I’d do the same (I work part time) but many other women who don’t work, days spent lunching, playing padel, getting nails done, yoga and so on…but just really up their own bums, very snooty and looking down at others. Have to admit it annoys me, it’s not their money, they didn’t earn it, why act like that? They could lose it all tomorrow, anyones circumstances could change..just eurgh

blueshoes · 07/06/2024 22:38

Barnabyby · 07/06/2024 22:35

Why is it, every time a thread like this pops up, women seem so hell-bent on making it into some kind of competition or 'race to the bottom'.

In reality, if somebody offered you a rich husband, no work, stress free life, do whatever the fuck you want kind of life, would you turn it down?

Envy really is an ugly emotion.

You ever heard the phrase 'Marry a rich man and earn every penny'. Be careful what you wish for.

Lentilweaver · 07/06/2024 22:38

How on earth do you know all this? Are you a fly on the wall of their toilets, watching them treat their cleaners like crap? Or do you work in their homes?

StormingNorman · 07/06/2024 22:39

doeeyedstan · 07/06/2024 22:31

If you wear scrubs and work in healthcare I very much doubt you earn the millions these men are earning

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In support of the view opposing OP’s assertion that SAHM’s look down on working women ⬆️

Way to bring down a successful career woman who contributes to society.

You couldn’t make it up!

SouthLondonMum22 · 07/06/2024 22:39

Barnabyby · 07/06/2024 22:35

Why is it, every time a thread like this pops up, women seem so hell-bent on making it into some kind of competition or 'race to the bottom'.

In reality, if somebody offered you a rich husband, no work, stress free life, do whatever the fuck you want kind of life, would you turn it down?

Envy really is an ugly emotion.

and every time women are determined that other women are jealous and secretly want rich husbands and no careers of their own. 🙄

No. I absolutely wouldn't want a life where I had to solely rely on someone else financially and not earn any of it myself.

TwigletsAndRadishes · 07/06/2024 22:39

worriedmummy1234 · 07/06/2024 20:38

I know exactly what you mean - when I was younger this used to really irritate me - I always worked full time and still do and always will. It's sort of envy, sort of resentment, sort of a feeling of injustice. I don't really think about it anymore. I think I'm much much more fulfilled in my life - their lives are hollow.

So a woman's life is hollow because she doesn't go out to work? Are we nothing more than our jobs, then? How do you know some of these women aren't quietly penning blockbusters or running start up businesses from home that you know nothing about? Studying for an OU degree? Helping illiterate inmates with reading and writing in a prison? Working on their own cookery book? Doing three nights a week as a phone Samaritan? Spending all their spare time playing the cello or painting in a studio in the garden, or arguing about politics or philosophy with strangers on Mumsnet?

You don't know, do you? You've dismissed them all as vacuous, sad and shallow for the terrible crime of not needing to go out each day and make more money.

Josette77 · 07/06/2024 22:41

Angrymum22 · 07/06/2024 22:26

I know what you mean OP, I just remind myself that I will always be a rich independent professional woman who is now retired (early) and drawing a f@*k off pension, working one day a week (which doubles my income).
I have no future worries, apart from the obvious, because whether my husband buggers off or dies before me my life will remain exactly the same. In fact I will be even more financially secure since his pension is tiny compared to mine.

Their ability to somehow think that they are superior because they don’t have to work really does puzzle me. One friend , who doesn’t look down on me but can sometimes be a little condescending ( I dumb down a lot so I think she doesn’t see me as a professional business owner who until recently had staff etc), she is currently having a melt down because she has no idea what her husband has arranged for their retirement and whether she will be entitled to a state pension never mind a private pension.

Another mum from school found out, when her ex surprised her with divorce papers that his family had systematically removed him from the family business so by the time the divorce papers were served he had no assets or income. All legal, and left her with nothing. She has since sold her soul and married her second husband, for money.

I know a few who have quietly disappeared when the “business” has gone tits up and they have lost everything, have had to send back the leased Range Rover and can no longer afford the school fees.

I work in healthcare so wear a uniform/scrubs for work. Makeup is a waste of time because it disappears rapidly when you wear a mask most of the day. So when I rolled up for drop off and pick up it was usually in a pair of jeans and a top. The school gate was not part of my social life so no need to dress up.

I like to think that it is because they are intimidated by a woman who probably earns as much as their DH.

I am so glad that I stuck with the career and married my best friend for love. We have just celebrated our 25th anniversary although have been together for 32yrs.

You clearly look your nose down on people.

Kendodd · 07/06/2024 22:41

I only know one woman like this. She's lovely, as is her husband. He was well off (couple of million) when they met, now he/they are really rich. They've been married about 20 years now and have what looks, at least from the outside, a very equal relationship. None of this 'marry a rich man, work for every penny' nonsense, they seem happy and I'm glad for them, they're lovely.

Hellodarknessmyfriend · 07/06/2024 22:43

Barnabyby · 07/06/2024 22:35

Why is it, every time a thread like this pops up, women seem so hell-bent on making it into some kind of competition or 'race to the bottom'.

In reality, if somebody offered you a rich husband, no work, stress free life, do whatever the fuck you want kind of life, would you turn it down?

Envy really is an ugly emotion.

@Barnabyby I was once married to a rich husband, who insisted I gave up my career as to keep it would be "insulting to his masculinity." Money never an issue, lived in a big house with all of the "trappings."
I have never been so lonely and miserable in my entire life. I divorced him.
Now remarried to a man who earns a very modest wage and we rent our house as we still can't afford to buy. I am working 4 days a week and life is incredibly busy as we have a 4 yo daughter together. We don't have any spare money left at the end of the month after bills; the last time I got my hair cut was last August!
I am respected and loved and I thank my lucky stars every day that I finally found a man who knew what matters most in life ❤️

Original poster

Ifyouholdonforonemoreday · 07/06/2024 22:43

@Barnabyby Oh for sure, it would be lovely (I hope if the Dh was lovely) but it wouldn’t mean I’d think I was above others and treat them badly

@minipie Friends of friends, sort of, live in a place where everyone knows each others business/people talk. Plus I’ve seen it with my own eyes and yes I’ve been in two separate peoples homes when they’ve treated staff like something on their shoe, staff who no doubt work all hours for a crappy wage, decent respect and kindness is missing, it’s vile behaviour and I can’t abide it,

OP posts:

TammyJones · 07/06/2024 22:45

blueshoes · 07/06/2024 20:52

The big houses and gardens had to be kept immaculate,

Yes, that seems to be a theme. It must be a lot of work to keep a big house and garden looking immaculate.

Don't they just hire gardeners and cleaners?

Original poster

Ifyouholdonforonemoreday · 07/06/2024 22:46

@TammyJones The ones I know do, it isn’t hard work 😂

OP posts:

Cupboardsarefull · 07/06/2024 22:47

Lots of wealthy sahms in my area and I do wonder what shit they have to put up with in their marriages to maintain their well kept lifestyles. Strikes me as odd to not be earning for yourself in this day and age. I guess good for them whilst it lasts and I'm sure for a proportion of people it does work out. But also a high proportion will end in divorce. What do these SAHMs do then?

Barnabyby · 07/06/2024 22:48

SouthLondonMum22 · 07/06/2024 22:39

and every time women are determined that other women are jealous and secretly want rich husbands and no careers of their own. 🙄

No. I absolutely wouldn't want a life where I had to solely rely on someone else financially and not earn any of it myself.

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I would question why you feel like this though. We only work because we have to pay the bills. If you didn't have to because your husband can happily cover it all, why would you? It's a genuine question.

Titsywoo · 07/06/2024 22:49

My husband earns a lot of money but when me met he earned less than me and we decided I would work part time and mostly stay home with the kids as he moved forward with his career as we thought he had more potential and I wanted to stay home while they were young. We both struggled for many years financially before we got to where we are now. Yes we were also lucky in many ways. My kids are now grown and I have started a business and am earning more. If anyone said I was married to a rich man I would be very pissed off and offended. Their husbands aren't rich THEY are rich/well off (or whatever). You have no idea of their circumstances and how hard they work behind the scenes. You sound bitter and envious.

Barnabyby · 07/06/2024 22:50

Hellodarknessmyfriend · 07/06/2024 22:43

@Barnabyby I was once married to a rich husband, who insisted I gave up my career as to keep it would be "insulting to his masculinity." Money never an issue, lived in a big house with all of the "trappings."
I have never been so lonely and miserable in my entire life. I divorced him.
Now remarried to a man who earns a very modest wage and we rent our house as we still can't afford to buy. I am working 4 days a week and life is incredibly busy as we have a 4 yo daughter together. We don't have any spare money left at the end of the month after bills; the last time I got my hair cut was last August!
I am respected and loved and I thank my lucky stars every day that I finally found a man who knew what matters most in life ❤️

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That's not comparable. I'm not talking about marrying a rich, controlling man. I'm talking about marrying a rich, decent man 😄

Femme2804 · 07/06/2024 22:58

Are you sure they are snotty and look down on you? Not you just feeling insecure and judge them?

i’m one of this wife. sAHm, husband earns well. Not doing anything rather than pilates, gym, lunching etc.

i lost friend, my bestfriend just because she thinks exactly like you. But in reality i never belittle her, never in my life i look down on her. Its because her insecurities so she always assumed bad about me and my intention. Jealousy cloud your judgment

Hellodarknessmyfriend · 07/06/2024 23:01

@Barnabyby Incredibly rare I would argue. Usually one or the other but not often both.
But I guess it all depends where your priorities lie.

Hellodarknessmyfriend · 07/06/2024 23:03

@Femme2804 Do you mean you do nothing than pilates, gym, lunching etc?!!

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 07/06/2024 23:03

BrightLightTonight · 07/06/2024 20:31

I think that is a more of you feeling inadequate rather than them looking down in you. I know numerous wealthy people, and the ones that have earned their income never look down on others

I agree.
Just because someone makes you feel less than, doesn't mean they think you are. They probably don't think about you much at all tbh. I think you're projecting.

Also don't assume they're all happy. I 'look' like one of those slim shiny yoga mums and other mums at nursery may be intimidated by me or assume I'm up myself due to how I dress. but I have no husband and I'm struggling and I literally don't have a spare moment to think about judging other people.

blueshoes · 07/06/2024 23:08

Femme2804 · 07/06/2024 22:58

Are you sure they are snotty and look down on you? Not you just feeling insecure and judge them?

i’m one of this wife. sAHm, husband earns well. Not doing anything rather than pilates, gym, lunching etc.

i lost friend, my bestfriend just because she thinks exactly like you. But in reality i never belittle her, never in my life i look down on her. Its because her insecurities so she always assumed bad about me and my intention. Jealousy cloud your judgment

@Femme2804 on another thread, didn't you say you work fulltime?

Ihopeithinkiknow · 07/06/2024 23:11

Barnabyby · 07/06/2024 22:35

Why is it, every time a thread like this pops up, women seem so hell-bent on making it into some kind of competition or 'race to the bottom'.

In reality, if somebody offered you a rich husband, no work, stress free life, do whatever the fuck you want kind of life, would you turn it down?

Envy really is an ugly emotion.

Would I fuck turn it down lol but let's not pretend none of us know exactly the type of person the OP is on about lol and before you say "and what type would that be then" as if I'm stereotyping these women by pulling imagined examples out of my arse lol
"Oh I do feel sorry for those that have to eat any food labelled as the value range" I'm not jealous because they can afford a better tin of beans lol I'm not jealous at all but when I hear statements like that (which is just one thing I have personally heard) it makes me think that these women are actually judging people and think they are better than those who eat the value range. There are probably just as many stupidly rich women that don't give a shit about eating cheap beans but we aren't on about them are we because they do live in the real world and understand that eating expensive beans does not make them better than anyone.

doeeyedstan · 07/06/2024 23:13

Hellodarknessmyfriend · 07/06/2024 23:01

@Barnabyby Incredibly rare I would argue. Usually one or the other but not often both.
But I guess it all depends where your priorities lie.

Not rare from where I'm standing.

blueshoes · 07/06/2024 23:14

Ihopeithinkiknow · 07/06/2024 23:11

Would I fuck turn it down lol but let's not pretend none of us know exactly the type of person the OP is on about lol and before you say "and what type would that be then" as if I'm stereotyping these women by pulling imagined examples out of my arse lol
"Oh I do feel sorry for those that have to eat any food labelled as the value range" I'm not jealous because they can afford a better tin of beans lol I'm not jealous at all but when I hear statements like that (which is just one thing I have personally heard) it makes me think that these women are actually judging people and think they are better than those who eat the value range. There are probably just as many stupidly rich women that don't give a shit about eating cheap beans but we aren't on about them are we because they do live in the real world and understand that eating expensive beans does not make them better than anyone.

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It is probably just me but I don't understand any of this.

doeeyedstan · 07/06/2024 23:15

Cupboardsarefull · 07/06/2024 22:47

Lots of wealthy sahms in my area and I do wonder what shit they have to put up with in their marriages to maintain their well kept lifestyles. Strikes me as odd to not be earning for yourself in this day and age. I guess good for them whilst it lasts and I'm sure for a proportion of people it does work out. But also a high proportion will end in divorce. What do these SAHMs do then?

Why are you so determined to believe women have to put up with shit? It's such a strange attitude. Like poor men are lovely and rich men are bastards. Where does that even come from. Most men I know are really lovely. Funny, loving, devoted to their wives and dc and work to create the best family life they can. And yes. They have lots of money and live in beautiful houses and have housekeepers and gardeners. 🤷🏻‍♀️

bluewaxcrayon · 07/06/2024 23:20

SouthLondonMum22 · 07/06/2024 22:39

and every time women are determined that other women are jealous and secretly want rich husbands and no careers of their own. 🙄

No. I absolutely wouldn't want a life where I had to solely rely on someone else financially and not earn any of it myself.

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why else would they start and keep going a bitchy thread about women who they think live off their rich husband's money and go on and on about their alleged lack of financial independence and how they can be nothing but miserable inside?

You know nothing of the private and financial circumstances of people you bump into on the school run.

When people insults others, it says more about them than their target. It's jealousy and the need to make themselves feel better, what else would it be?
Who actually cares if another woman works or not?