Women with rich husbands looking down noses at others

[Ifyouholdonforonemoreday]

It bugs me!

I live in a v wealthy area, lots of mum friends of mine don’t work, lovely people, husbands earn enough, fantastic situation I’d do the same (I work part time) but many other women who don’t work, days spent lunching, playing padel, getting nails done, yoga and so on…but just really up their own bums, very snooty and looking down at others. Have to admit it annoys me, it’s not their money, they didn’t earn it, why act like that? They could lose it all tomorrow, anyones circumstances could change..just eurgh

Yep, MrsTerry has got it in one. Staff are endlessly bickering and bitching about each other. And it is quite a task getting them to perform to acceptable standards. See all the cleaner threads.

It is hard work. Don't envy them.

@MrsTerryPratchett I have no idea how I quoted you there. Apologies for that, it wasn’t my intention.

Generally my friends are people I like.
I an weird that way.

I have friends like this. They have comfortable lives. Their men are arseholes, cheats and downright bores. Id rather be skint.

@MotherofGorgons These arent my friends? I love all my friends

@ssd I do wonder about that

They are always on thin ice @Ifyouholdonforonemoreday

All those hair and nail appointments are for their husband’s benefit. There’ll always be a younger/prettier/more grateful option waiting in the wings. They can do exactly what they want as long as they put up with any old shit from their DH. Some may not be allowed to work even if they wanted to.

How do you know what they think of you then? If they are not your friends or you don't spend time with them?

Forgot to say, the technician who does my colour at a very swanky London salon also colours the hair of a 60 year old woman every three weeks…

Her husband doesn’t know she has gone grey!!! She is terrified he’ll find out and trade her in.

I would have thought it is not just her hair.

Yes I know that, but most rich husbands have achieved that with the wives inout - it is a partnership, not as on mumsnet, a war zone. Wives earn their place as much as the high earner husband

@StormingNorman But surely they’d still be well off in the event of divorce? So they’d be better off…free from the horrible guy, but with money

My sister married a rich man and is like the women you describe. She actually dropped me completely and I haven’t seen her for many years because I’m not good enough in her eyes.

Are you sure they look down their noses at others- why would they? They aren’t exactly Florence Nightingale, the women of nasa or Ruth Ginsburg are they? Now that’s something to aspire too.

You’ve still not said how they look down their nose at you?

Sounds more like jealousy. Each to their own.

I also know numerous rich people, some who have had a step up, some who have made it all themselves. Some really do look down on others, some don't.

@Ereyraa Not down on me, but others, just tbe general treatment of others…especially waiters, cleaners, shop staff etc

Why are all rich men being painted as arseholes and cheats? Fair enough if they’re telling their wives not to work, but if its the woman’s choice then don’t blame the man. I’m fortunate to have a husband who earns enough that I don’t need to work - I’ve gone through periods when I have out of choice, and some periods where I’ve chosen not to. Certainly not looking down my nose at anyone.

let them.

When i left my x 17 nearly 18 years ago, a few of those types felt sorry for me, and let me know it. Roll on nearly two decades and I look at their situations and feel so relieved that my whole life doesn't sit like a house of cards on a jaded relationship with a fairly mediocre man. My own pension, savings, salary et cetera. But to be honest, I don't think they get it. They probably still feel sad for single women!

And how do you know this if you’re not friends or spending any time with them?

You sound like you have the world’s biggest chip on your shoulder

My theory is that those who did not work for their riches (i.e. those who married or inherited it) are more insecure that those who did.

They know consciously or unconsciously that their good fortune was due to luck (including winning the genetic lottery) rather than ability. Therefore, perhaps they are more inclined to look down on others because they need to convince themselves they are somehow deserving.

I mean I'm always stunned when someone tells me they don't work. I'm proud to work. I love my job. I stay in my own lane. I'm not sure what there is to feel superior over? But even if they do, I have purpose and self respect in my life. Just to add I'm a single Mum so working is possibly lower down on the list of things other Mums look down their nose at me for. Being single and a hot mess is probably more likely to be an issue. Did is say hot mess....I meant chaotic mess 🤣

Because people have to parrot this incredibly tired trope so that they don’t die of envy!

yes, some rich wives are arseholes. And husbands. Some people with less money are also arseholes - plenty on this thread seem to look down on women who don’t work and don’t see the irony or hypocrisy.

im lucky enough to not have to work and my husband is the best man in the world, endlessly kind and the love of my life. I know plenty of lucky and happy women with wonderful husbands and no we aren’t worried about being traded in for younger models! And we don’t look down on others either!

I don't think it's just the women with rich husbands. Some of them can be like that, I'm a sahm and DH is well-off but I'm kept busy in the day with my toddler who would never sit quietly while go and get my nails done or have a nice grown up lunch! It does sound almost like you'd look forward to them losing their financial status if their relationship broke down (which I don't think would happen in my wealthy circle, lots of them have their own inherited wealth plus would be awarded a decent sum in a divorce).

I've found that working women can be quite sneery to me as a sahm (even though I'm not actually living off DH's income, though I don't share the details of my finances with acquaintances). So it goes both ways really.