Women with rich husbands looking down noses at others

[Ifyouholdonforonemoreday]

It bugs me!

I live in a v wealthy area, lots of mum friends of mine don’t work, lovely people, husbands earn enough, fantastic situation I’d do the same (I work part time) but many other women who don’t work, days spent lunching, playing padel, getting nails done, yoga and so on…but just really up their own bums, very snooty and looking down at others. Have to admit it annoys me, it’s not their money, they didn’t earn it, why act like that? They could lose it all tomorrow, anyones circumstances could change..just eurgh

@Ifyouholdonforonemoreday thise who treat their staff like shit are probably what you call "new money".

God, this one again?

Yeah well she's just sounds like not a nice person. Chances are had she not married someone who earned a lot of money she would still be not a very nice person. She was probably never nice. That's just her.

Because those that earned their own money are somehow inferior to those that merely inherited it?this is such a bizarre premise that is particularly repeated in the UK. Most countries don't hold this view. Most countries see those who educate themselves and work hard, take risks and succeed as far more admirable than those who merely inherit wealth.

And mistresses? 🤔
Won't most of these women still have to lie back and think of Capri Inbetween times?

@Angrymum22

You obviously haven’t had the need for private healthcare.
The irony of verbally looking down your nose is obviously lost on you.
I use a combination of NHS and private. Luckily I have to option to choose. The times we have required emergency care, the NHS has been faultless and I will be eternally grateful for the incredible people who helped us. Truly humbling and yes, I think they should be paid more. Much much more. As should teachers. And even though we benefitted from the enormous remuneration my dh line of work is paid, we are well aware how ridiculously fucked up it is that some of the hardest workers get valued and paid so little. We vote in a way that tries to rebalance this.
This didn't make it wrong for my dh to have done the work he did. It wasn't immoral or unethical work it was complex and challenging and he loved it.

He doesn't need to protect himself. I'm not going anywhere. I love him. We have been together over 32 years. I want to continue to grow old with him. He's my favourite person. I agree though, it was an enormous level of trust to do that but I think we both know we both see life together as a choice we have both made and commit to every day. If anything he is far more stable than I am. I'm a bit more unpredictable and prone to charging off in different directions so yes, enormously trusting of him. But I'm not doing anything to break that trust because I choose to always try to be the best person I can be. And because he deserves more than I give him. Because he really is a good good man. And I value that. He is romantic abd expressive. He says I bring the fun into our lives.

very snooty and looking down at others are they really or is that just how you perceive them?

@StormingNorman

But you don’t actually DO anything to contribute do you?
How do you know? I haven't said what I spend my time doing. If you mean I don't contribute financially then you are right. But surely you are not suggesting the only contribution to a family unit is the financial one? That the person who earns the most is the boss? That the higher earner or only earner is the most important person in the family? That would be a very retrograde position to take.

I don't blame you. I would be with someone like that either.

As opposed to women who ‘still have to lie back’ and think of Skegness? Lol at the idea that infidelity is the preserve of the wealthy.

Or they could, you know, love their husbands and are very happy with their lives.

@blueshoes

More evidence of your need ti denigrate others.
Some posters asks why work when your dh can finance everything and a life of leisure. A sense of fairness and self-respect perhaps. And putting the family's finances on two shoulders is more sensible than one. It is great to understand my husband's world. Work is not some big ugly place that only men can somehow navigate. Don't forget the lovely female interns and junior associates that work there too.
Paid employment or the lack of is not the linchpin of whether someone has self respect. Conversely having to constantly find passive aggressive ways bring others down is a sure sign of a lack of true self respect.
And what is this connect about 'lovely female interns and junior associates'. It's like you live in the world of ManMen. I'm sorry you feel threatened by younger women in your husband's presence. Perhaps this is the root of your dissatisfaction and resentment

Yes, it is rather fucking gross. I've always worked, fwiw.

MN Bingo right here 😂
Now we are back to paid escorts, classic.😂

The hatred towards SAHM on this forum is a thing, the hatred against "wealthy" people another, but wealthy SAM? absolute horror.

Meanwhile, the forum is full of desperate posts from struggling women, who are distraught to leave their baby too early because they have to go back to work earlier than they like, women at the end of the sanity because they have to juggle a job they come to hate and family. Let's forget all that, shall we?

I am starting to pity some of the woman on this thread, the ones so bitter they pop up with their nasty and vile comments, the jealousy is unreal. It would kill them if they realised how educated, how privately wealthy the woman they hate actually are, how happy some family are, how busy and interesting these women are. Keep pretending they spend their days between nail salon and pilate studio, the truth in many case would finish you 😂

Again, if you were that happy and fulfilled yourself, as proud of your own achievements and professional success, you wouldn't need to make yourself feel better trying to put down people in your own head. It says it all.

Completely agree

You seem to spend an immense amount of time hanging around with these women. Rather too much. I never say this usually but in this case " go touch some grass" is appropriate.

Some, not all.
And some actually earned it and continue earning it whilst their rich husband is alive,
giving their time, energy and life,
sometimes 20+ years.
Not complaining, just explaining.

So you are Champagne Labour voters.
Maybe working and paying tax would be a more noble way of supporting the great unwashed. Married couples stopped being taxed together decades ago. So rather than voting why not actually contribute financially like a proper socialist.
Your original comment was typical of someone who looks down on lower earners. I remember my DSis once claiming that I was out of touch with the everyday person. At the time she was in research so I pointed out that her ivory tower was far more isolating, to which she replied, “I speak to the cleaners”.
She has mellowed but at one time if we were out shopping I would often wander away when she was being snooty with shop assistance. She is not a SAHM but very judgemental.
I do find the argument that SAHM are the hub of a family difficult. What do they think working mums do? They actually share the responsibility with their DP, and work as a team.
Most of the wealthy SAHM I know have staff, cleaner, gardener, handyman etc so apart from a bit of paper work and cooking they have plenty of free time.

Often the argument is that the working partner works long hours and often away from home so are absent from family life. So neither partner is really benefitting from the money, and family life is probably more part time than those that work.

I think that what the OP is trying to convey is that SAHM are particularly smug at times, thinking that they have landed on their feet. Whereas most professional women work because they want to rather than they have to. I consciously chose a profession that allows me to work the hours I want, to fit around a family and marriage. I can earn well over the average household income working one day a week. That was all part of the master plan. I would hate not having my own money.

And as the higher earner I have been party to conversations with other higher earners (men) and there is resentment. I would never admit this to my DH because we are a team.
I didn’t think it would bother me but when DH (SAHP) would swan off to watch cricket or play golf it did annoy me. He was doing a brilliant job housekeeping and organising DS but the ability to fit in fun stuff often made me uncomfortable.

My DD moved to an all girls school in Belgravia for Sixth Form. I'm pretty outgoing and can talk to anyone. I went to one coffee morning (at a vegan café in Chelsea), and gosh did I feel inadequate. It wasn't just the wealth, but the size 8 figures, immaculate hair, the discreetly expensive clothing. One or two seemed more on my wavelength but it was clear I was breathing a more rarified air than I was used to (we moved from a middling non selective independent school outside London).
Now i am from a solid middle class background, and while I went to state school I have a masters and had a good career (though not well paying) until I had my kids and stopped in my 40s, my late husband was a well paid corporate city lawyer, but that would be chump change to many of these people. I don't think they were all SAHMs either - many seemed to work.
Afraid I didn't go to any others. In fact I didn't get involved in any school activities, despite being very involved at her last school. But that says more about me than them though. Ashamed to say I felt outclassed (in a monetary way, I don't think these people were necessarily upper class or 'better' than me).
My daughter, thankfully, was not impressed by the £5m plus homes her classmates had, or their skiing holidays or month long cruises. No she was mostly envious they had an extra 45 minutes in bed every morning as they could walk to school rather than take the tube!
I hasten to add the school itself was inclusive in attitude and my DD certainly was not the only child commuting to school or less financially well off. I have no complaints there.

@angry mum. You refer to judgemental people. You seem unaware of how judgemental your post is. A little self reflection would go a long way to perhaps reducing your desire to repeatedly name call and your hostility. People content with their lives don't feel the need to do this. You seem to be behaving like you are feeling that something is unfair. That life isn't rewarding you the way you feel it should for the choices you have made because you feel you have made virtuous choices and that you feel others who have made different choices should in some way be suffering or at least not as content as you. And that you want to keep pressing and pressing by name calling and passive aggressive digs to try desperately to make them/me feel bad. Or for you to feel better. Like somehow maybe if you keep at it people/I will feel sad or small or regretful or something for not choosing the path you chose. This isn't the behaviour of someone content and confident in their life outcome. You demonstrate every behaviour of someone who feels undervalued and under celebrated. I'm sorry. I really wish you didn't feel this way.

I can earn well over the average household income working one day a week.

I am sure you do 😂

YANBU. I bet they’re the type that would call an unemployed single parent a scrounger while not working themselves.

That doesn't make any sense. Plenty of wealthy men are loving, kind and supportive to their wives.

'It's not their money'.

I do not work and am fortunate enough to stay home to look after our 2 children. I am not snooty nor do look down anybody's nose.

And it certainly is my money too. I do so much for the family and our house and he is my husband. We share everything. Ridiculous comment!

@wintersgold What part of my post doesn't make sense? Money allowed him to up his twat level in many ways. That's a fact.