Women with rich husbands looking down noses at others

[Ifyouholdonforonemoreday]

It bugs me!

I live in a v wealthy area, lots of mum friends of mine don’t work, lovely people, husbands earn enough, fantastic situation I’d do the same (I work part time) but many other women who don’t work, days spent lunching, playing padel, getting nails done, yoga and so on…but just really up their own bums, very snooty and looking down at others. Have to admit it annoys me, it’s not their money, they didn’t earn it, why act like that? They could lose it all tomorrow, anyones circumstances could change..just eurgh

Fuck marrying the rich man.

Be the rich man.

@blueshoes Well I genuinely do think his lack of height added to his issues. As for the coffee, I'm more of a Costa girl! 😀

@custardlover Be the rich woman!

Well yes! Exactly!

This. Maybe you are going thru a had time and feeling less then or inadequate.

I saw a qoute from Cher recently where he mother had told her to find a rich man to marry. She said Mom I am the rich man.

Completely agree! I’ve heard SAHMs married to rich men moaning, laughing at and/or looking down their noses at benefits claimants and council house tenants. They don’t seem to realise they are just as reliant on their husbands and they could be In the exact same position if they’d married a different man or if disaster befalls them.

I didn’t work for a very short time while my DH pulled 12-14 hour days in a very stressful job. We decided my salary was so inconsequential my time would be better spent keeping on top of the household and life admin. When it came to it, I felt guilty enjoying the life of Riley while he was working hard to pay for it. The final straw for me was when I started having an afternoon nap and then watched him stagger in at 11pm still responding to emails. It seemed grossly unequal.

Exactly.

It wouldn't feel right placing all of the financial responsibility on my husband's shoulders.

There's a lot of misogyny in some of these posts. If they are married, the assets are hers as much as his, they are a team, a legal unit and it really doesn't matter who earned what. If the shit hit the fan, it's all up for grabs, especially if they are long marriages, with children.

I very much doubt that these women are leading hollow lives. There are plenty of people whose work is not meaningful or important to society or personally satisfying. It must be lovely to have complete financial freedom and a life without any financial stress. I certainly wouldn't feel bored or empty if I had enough money to completely please myself.

And there are as many average income women married to abusive arseholes as rich women - that's about the men's personalities, not their wealth.

@ABirdsEyeView I feel the exact opposite. As another poster said, doing very little whilst your husband works his backside off all the hours God's sends and barely seeing his children, but then claiming everything he earns is yours because you are married doesn't appear at all misogynistic to me! It does appear grossly unfair!!

I'm British but living abroad at the moment in a naice "expat" destination. I'm expecting a baby but I work (I'm actually the higher earner which is unusual here) and I'm in the minority. Most women here don't work. I tried making friends with them and it's just not happening. I just get the cold shoulder at any events, bbqs etc.

Luckily I do also have some female colleagues and have managed to make some very good friends through work but there is something about these middle class SAHMs that is very...unfriendly. Probably insecurity of sorts and totally different interests but there's no getting into that circle.

I have bad days at work when I really do envy them. I can't imagine not having to work and how privileged that must be. I have to go back to work when my baby is 16 weeks old 😩

But you don’t actually DO anything to contribute do you?

The second client sounds absolutely awful!

It wasn’t so much the money as my salary didn’t really make any difference. I just felt bad that he worked such long hours while I fannied around for a hour or two a day picking up dry cleaning, scheduling personal appointments with his diary manager and choosing curtains. Oh…and the weekly trip to Waitrose.

@Hellodarknessmyfriend I think if both parties are doing what they each want and neither feels put upon or exploited or unhappy with their arrangement, it really doesn't matter what the arrangement is. One choice isn't morally superior than the other.
It might be that they both want one parent to be more physically present for the kids - I think that's fair enough and it doesn't really matter what else she does, so long as everyone is happy.

I guess it comes down to the difference between a job and a career. If money is plentiful, it makes sense to stay working if you have a career that's meaningful to you, but not so much if you had an unsatisfying job.

I also think that possibly these women who are spending their days doing largely whatever they fancy, maybe aren't too bothered about being perceived as interesting to people outside of their circle. Working isn't the thing that makes a person interesting because lots of jobs are dull as shit. It's more about how they engage with the world, what they read, their ability to converse with others etc.

I think I'd love to have loads of money and the ability to just please myself.

It is not you. Another working mother I know who is an army wife reported the same dynamic from the other army wives, who are SAHM. To them, you run with the wolves and they don't get that. Now is hard but at the end of the day, you have your job to go back to. When your baby is much older, you will understand how valuable that is.

I did that for a bit when my ds was pre-school. It felt pretty empty. I was just marking time watching ds at play and taking him from one activity to another. I longed to earn my own money because I felt my time was better spent cracking my head doing the difficult things I studied for. I even envied people on the commute. It felt like a waste when I could be equal to my dh. Equal as in anything he does in and out of the home I could do too. If we had to pay for a holiday or needed to buy a big item, we can go halves. If I went away on a business trip, he could look after the dc and of course vice versa.

Some posters asks why work when your dh can finance everything and a life of leisure. A sense of fairness and self-respect perhaps. And putting the family's finances on two shoulders is more sensible than one. It is great to understand my husband's world. Work is not some big ugly place that only men can somehow navigate. Don't forget the lovely female interns and junior associates that work there too.

Without a shadow of a doubt, most women would live that lifestyle, if they could.

I can’t imagine spending time doing all those activities. It sounds so simple-minded and boring. How sad that these women live in this tiny bubble of existence. I bet the second they have to stand on their own two feet it all blows up in their Botox-filled faces.

I don't think so. I can have that lifestyle on my own steam and my inheritance but I still keep a full time career going because the work is interesting and I worked hard to get here. What sort of role model is it for your dcs, especially dds, if their mum lolls around living a life of luxury off the back of male labour. The dd would think, well, what is the point of getting good grades.

I am not one of them

It wasn’t the life for me. If we could have both lived the life of Riley it would be different. But I couldn’t do it while he slogged his guts out.

I have always been independent even though I have been married a long time, money or not one thing I won't do is be married to a person who has affairs and ignore them to keep up appearances and keep children in private schools and play tennis and do lunch

I may be female but I am my own person