Eww just found out my fiance voted UKIP before

[NotGotAClue1]

Just that really. And the fact that he likes Nigel Farage and agrees with him. I feel very disturbed.

I think you need to understand the reasons behind it...what is it he likes about Farage and what led him to vote for UKIP.

Sometimes people vote for reasons that aren't necessarily what we would assume based on the caricatures we have in our heads about 'that type of person'

Women DO NOT need to convert to Islam to marry a Muslim man (fact)

Urgh I just couldn't. It's a hard one, you are obviously invested in him as engaged. I would explore his views about society and fairness in a lot more detail. And racism. All a big no for me, having a similar outlook about society, fairness and the need to help people when they are need, are important to me though.

I never ask my husband about his voting intentions even though we go to the polling stations together. Everyone has a right to privacy about their voting intentions. It was one of the reasons given for not giving women the vote until the twentieth century, that they would be told whom to vote for by their husbands.
The law in this country and most countries, upholds a right to a secret ballot.
It does appear that some posters on MN insist on knowing their partners voting intentions. Perhaps the OP would prefer to vote for her husband?
It does seem dangerous that some women are so determined to control their husbands/ partners, even down ignoring the law requiring a secret electoral ballot.

How did you not know until now that your Fiance is a racist?

<bang> that’s the sound of my vagina slamming shut!

Ugh, no. I couldn’t get past this personally so I don’t think your reaction is odd at all. I couldn’t be with someone whose world view was so fundamentally wrong different to mine.

And I see it’s part of a larger picture of horrible behaviour.

my advice. Don’t marry him.

@Bushtika abdolutely not. I have no idea who my DP will vote for. But I know with 100% certainty that it won’t be Reform or Tory. Because I know that his world view is not that different from mine. I wouldn’t be with him if it were.

i used to be married to someone with opposite politics so mine. It was not easy.

@CaptainHaddocksPychotherapist

"So you are happy for your child to be parented by a person with such views?"

Are you actually suggesting people who vote UKIP should lose parental responsibility? Wow

I once voted UKIP (a long time ago) because I was passionately in favour of Brexit. Now that's done I would never vote UKIP.

Crack on. I love the UK, in general it's great. But so are so many places and most people too. I just don't love it more than other places and most certainly not to the detriment or other places. I actively dislike Nationalism. It has been used to fuel so much hatred and war.
Farage doesn't care about the UK he cares about himself and it's sad people are blind to that. Unfortunately that is what nationalism can do.

@Bushtika it's not about there not being the right to a private vote. It's about core beliefs, political opinion, discussions and debate, all of which I would want to align myself with someone who shared similar views on the world. I would disagree with and dislike anyone who supported ukip so could never be in a romantic relationship with them.

It's wild to me that you get cries of "red flag" on MN about every innocuous behaviour you could imagine from a man but the idea that someone's politics could be the reddest flag of all seems to be anathema.

I'm amazed that anyone could get all the way engaged to someone without having a very good idea about their political leanings but regardless of when you find out a man is a UKIP voter, the answer is the same: bin, immediately. I absolutely do not want to share my life with someone who is either a racist, or is OK enough with racist public rhetoric that they'll overlook it for whatever these "other reasons" might be.

Honestly, I can't imagine a bigger deal-breaker in a relationship than political differences. It's amazing to me that so many women insist we should overlook them.

People are entitled to like whoever they want. That said, I can’t imagine being with someone whose values didn’t broadly align with mine. I’m centre left but previously worked with a lot of Tory councillors and they were generally good people doing their best for their local communities and we got along well, so I’d happily date a ‘small c’ conservative. I think Farage is a liar and a cheater, he’ll say whatever is politically expedient, and he dog whistles the poorest and most vulnerable. Just look how he screwed over the UK fishing industry. I couldn’t be with someone who liked him. It says too much about who they are and what’s important to them.

Massive instant ick! However I think I would have noticed other things in his personality that tied in with the sort of views that lead someone to vote UKIP/admire NF. If it’s completely at odds with everything else you understand about him then ask WHY he thinks this way and see if you can tolerate his reasons - I doubt that I could.

I don’t understand how anyone doesn’t discuss politics with the person they love and share their life with! I don’t insist on knowing my husband’s views and he doesn’t insist on knowing mine. We know each other’s opinions as a natural result of normal conversation over months and years.

That would be a no for me.

I would not want to be with anyone who would vote for a party with extremist views, right or left.

Farage is a fake 'man of the people'. He is a wealthy manipulator who contributed to the Brexit disaster, makes horrid comments about immigrants and is a Trump supporter and has too many unsavoury, hateful far-right associations.

I would want nothing to do with anyone who would vote for a man like that.

What about a deadbeat who voted Conservative? Or a successful and aspirational man who voted Labour? They exist, you know.

@iamtheblcksheep
*Every one is entitled to their opinion. I’d never marry a dead beat who voted labour.

I have no time for any man that has no aspiration*

Spoken like a true tory.

This. I can’t believe people break up relationships over voting preferences…🙄

Very proud not to tolerate racism and bigotry. Better to be "closed-minded" like that than to be a moral vacuum that insists those views have to be respected.

Some people who voted UKIP in the early days just really, really wanted Brexit.

They were not all racist or xenophobic.

Granted, some of them would be.

I would look to his other views/opinions to decide on that.

Judging someone on the basis that they are a member of a particular group is the definition of a bigot!

Neither of Farage’s wives have been English so I guess they were willing to overlook his xenophobia and he was willing to overlook their foreigness for the sake of love.