Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Eww just found out my fiance voted UKIP before

298 replies

NotGotAClue1 · 06/06/2024 19:29

Just that really. And the fact that he likes Nigel Farage and agrees with him. I feel very disturbed.

OP posts:
SnapdragonToadflax · 08/06/2024 06:06

@Charlie2121 The UK has already had an increasingly right-wing government for the last 14 years, it hasn't been out of step with Europe at all.

Your last sentence is chilling. Marine Le Pen and Geert Wilders are revolting racists, just like Nigel Farage. I would never, ever vote for them, and I judge anyone who does. They may be popular, but there will always be a significant number of people who will stand up to them.

BloodyHellKenAgain · 08/06/2024 09:23

Anxiousheartbeat · 07/06/2024 17:17

The irony of people judging people for their politics, whilst calling someone with differing political views “bigots”.
😀😀😀

Exactly and the majority appear to be on the left which is both disappointing and predictable.

GoodAfternoonGoodEveningAndGoodnight · 08/06/2024 09:36

BMW6 · 07/06/2024 10:02

But can't you see that YOU are a bigot ?

It makes you a bigot to not tolerate racism?!
If so, I'm one too then.
Happily so as cannot abide it.

StarlightLady · 08/06/2024 09:52

GoodAfternoonGoodEveningAndGoodnight · 08/06/2024 09:36

It makes you a bigot to not tolerate racism?!
If so, I'm one too then.
Happily so as cannot abide it.

This.

I’ll join the bigot club too in that case. It’s not about left or right, it’s about being a decent citizen of planet earth or not.

AccountCreateUsername · 08/06/2024 12:54

StarlightLady · 08/06/2024 09:52

This.

I’ll join the bigot club too in that case. It’s not about left or right, it’s about being a decent citizen of planet earth or not.

And me! Can I join too? I’m definitely prejudiced against racists!

HeadacheEarthquake · 08/06/2024 12:58

Guess disliking racists, populists, xenophobes and UKIP gobshites makes me bigoted too. I'll join. I'd rather be in here with you lot.

blue345 · 08/06/2024 13:04

sorry, wrong thread!

Disturbia81 · 08/06/2024 13:12

Yuck @ 14 years older.

BloodyHellKenAgain · 08/06/2024 13:58

HeadacheEarthquake · 07/06/2024 09:51

With respect, if you're truly broad minded, then you should rightly be disgusted by the likes of Farage. You've got a catch 22 there.

I disagree

Surely if you're truly broad minded you should listen to Nigel Farage, try and see his point of view and that of his fans and try and understand why they feel the way they do without passing judgement.

StarlightLady · 08/06/2024 14:07

BloodyHellKenAgain · 08/06/2024 13:58

I disagree

Surely if you're truly broad minded you should listen to Nigel Farage, try and see his point of view and that of his fans and try and understand why they feel the way they do without passing judgement.

Point of view in not telling the truth (I’m a polite woman)? Point of you in inciting hatred. Point of view in being elected as an MEP for an organisation he despises and then rarely turning up to represent his constituents and vote? All good stuff right?

BloodyHellKenAgain · 08/06/2024 14:29

StarlightLady · 08/06/2024 14:07

Point of view in not telling the truth (I’m a polite woman)? Point of you in inciting hatred. Point of view in being elected as an MEP for an organisation he despises and then rarely turning up to represent his constituents and vote? All good stuff right?

Sorry, I'm not sure what you mean.

What I'm saying is that to be truly broad minded you listen to the political views of those don't necessarily agree with and try and understand why they feel like that.

And the point of me is not to incite hatred !!

neverbeenskiing · 08/06/2024 14:54

Mrsdyna · 07/06/2024 06:29

Wow, they have a child? I hope this thread is fake.

"Mummy, Daddy, why did you split up? Was it cheating? Domestic abuse?"

"No, it was the crime of voting that made you have to spend holidays and weekends elsewhere."

What a pathetic, privileged outlook. The OP doesn't understand how lucky she is.

You think women should only be allowed to end a relationships if their partner is abusive or unfaithful? We should automatically feel "lucky" to be with any man who doesn't hit us or fuck other women? Christ, that's a depressingly low bar.

Some people prioritise compassion and integrity when choosing a partner. Voting preferences aren't just about whether you like a particular personality or not, our views around equality, social justice and how society should treat its most vulnerable say a lot about the kind of person you are.

You might not care about the morals and values of the person you choose to share your life with, but many women do and that doesn't make them "pathetic".

StarlightLady · 08/06/2024 15:33

BloodyHellKenAgain · 08/06/2024 14:29

Sorry, I'm not sure what you mean.

What I'm saying is that to be truly broad minded you listen to the political views of those don't necessarily agree with and try and understand why they feel like that.

And the point of me is not to incite hatred !!

I mean he lied! Prices have gone up because of Brexit! Businesses in the UK have gone to the wall because of Brexit, farmers are suffering because of Brexit. He made out he was the fisherman’s friend but did not turn up for the European fishing vote as a member of the European Parliament. Did he tell you any of this?

And he (not you) incites hatred of other races.

Someone who holds supportive views Of someone like Farage would not be the foundations of a long term relationship.

JusteanBiscuits · 08/06/2024 16:13

To not want to share your life with someone with opposing political views is not forcing anyone to vote for any particular party. But, for me, sharing political ideals is the same as sharing ideals for your life. I wouldn't want to share my life with someone that had such different views on things that are so important to me. It's not about forcing them to share your opinion.

Some people find hairy men sexy. Some people don't care. Some people find shared political views sexy. Some don't.

That said, because it's something important to me. There is no way I'd have got far enough into a relationship them to have a child without knowing our politics aligned.

And not wanting to sleep and have children with someone who's politics I disagree with doesn't make them the devil. I'll be friends with them, but not as my romantic partner.

HeadacheEarthquake · 08/06/2024 16:18

BloodyHellKenAgain · 08/06/2024 13:58

I disagree

Surely if you're truly broad minded you should listen to Nigel Farage, try and see his point of view and that of his fans and try and understand why they feel the way they do without passing judgement.

We have absolutely done that. And found them to be quite unsavoury.

JusteanBiscuits · 08/06/2024 16:20

And, as this is MUMSNET, Farage is the man who thinks 3 months paid maternity leave is "lunacy", that women who are mothers are worth less, and he feels this way as he has "got so many women pregnant".

StarlightLady · 08/06/2024 17:12

JusteanBiscuits · 08/06/2024 16:20

And, as this is MUMSNET, Farage is the man who thinks 3 months paid maternity leave is "lunacy", that women who are mothers are worth less, and he feels this way as he has "got so many women pregnant".

Exactly this! The phrase turkeys voting for Christmas comes to mind!

Mrsdyna · 08/06/2024 17:22

neverbeenskiing · 08/06/2024 14:54

You think women should only be allowed to end a relationships if their partner is abusive or unfaithful? We should automatically feel "lucky" to be with any man who doesn't hit us or fuck other women? Christ, that's a depressingly low bar.

Some people prioritise compassion and integrity when choosing a partner. Voting preferences aren't just about whether you like a particular personality or not, our views around equality, social justice and how society should treat its most vulnerable say a lot about the kind of person you are.

You might not care about the morals and values of the person you choose to share your life with, but many women do and that doesn't make them "pathetic".

Wow, talk about jumping to conclusions. Let's clear a few things up. I never said that women should only leave relationships if their partner is abusive or unfaithful. That’s a gross misrepresentation of my comment. People have the right to end relationships for any reason they choose.

I also didn’t imply that we should feel "lucky" to be with any man who doesn’t hit us or cheat. My point was about how absurd it is to consider a partner’s voting preference as a reason severe enough to disrupt a child’s family life. This reflects a level of privilege where political opinions are seen as deal-breakers over actual harmful behaviour.

Suggesting that I don’t care about my partner’s morals and values is just plain ridiculous. I value integrity and compassion, but I also recognise that people are complex and their political choices don’t define their entire moral character. Reducing someone’s worth to their vote is simplistic and narrow-minded.

If you can’t see the difference between major relationship issues like abuse or infidelity and differing political views, then it’s you who’s setting a depressingly low bar. People can have different political opinions and still be good partners and parents.

So, don’t put words in my mouth. My comment was about the privilege of being able to end a relationship over political differences rather than more serious issues, and the impact this has on the children involved.

StarlightLady · 08/06/2024 17:35

@Mrsdyna - Farage is racist. Racism does disrupt a child’s family life by distorting their views. Racism is worse than infidelity in my view.

AccountCreateUsername · 08/06/2024 21:56

Mrsdyna · 08/06/2024 17:22

Wow, talk about jumping to conclusions. Let's clear a few things up. I never said that women should only leave relationships if their partner is abusive or unfaithful. That’s a gross misrepresentation of my comment. People have the right to end relationships for any reason they choose.

I also didn’t imply that we should feel "lucky" to be with any man who doesn’t hit us or cheat. My point was about how absurd it is to consider a partner’s voting preference as a reason severe enough to disrupt a child’s family life. This reflects a level of privilege where political opinions are seen as deal-breakers over actual harmful behaviour.

Suggesting that I don’t care about my partner’s morals and values is just plain ridiculous. I value integrity and compassion, but I also recognise that people are complex and their political choices don’t define their entire moral character. Reducing someone’s worth to their vote is simplistic and narrow-minded.

If you can’t see the difference between major relationship issues like abuse or infidelity and differing political views, then it’s you who’s setting a depressingly low bar. People can have different political opinions and still be good partners and parents.

So, don’t put words in my mouth. My comment was about the privilege of being able to end a relationship over political differences rather than more serious issues, and the impact this has on the children involved.

Some people find racist views to be a deal breaker. Many people don’t want to be with that kind of person. It’s quite a fundamental difference in values and belief

LauderSyme · 08/06/2024 22:14

A lot of what Nigel Farage says and does leaves a bad taste in my mouth. His dog-whistle politics. His endless arrogant self-promotion. His faux man-of-the-people bonhomie. His abnegation of his responsibilities as a Euro MP. His failure to be accountable for all the lies told about Brexit. His eager jumping on Donald Trump's gravy train. Can't stand the man, personally, I think he is an absolute slimeball.

However I think what OP said about the way her fiancé treats her is a far more severe problem than his politics.

GoodAfternoonGoodEveningAndGoodnight · 10/06/2024 13:42

BloodyHellKenAgain · 08/06/2024 14:29

Sorry, I'm not sure what you mean.

What I'm saying is that to be truly broad minded you listen to the political views of those don't necessarily agree with and try and understand why they feel like that.

And the point of me is not to incite hatred !!

I do do that as well though.
I think it's important to listen to both "sides" as you say you to try and understand others points of view.
It's the inciting, and the racism that I have a problem with though.
And no, I'm not going to get into "define racism" bollocks before anyone starts that crap.

GoodAfternoonGoodEveningAndGoodnight · 10/06/2024 13:48

@Mrsdyna
My point was about how absurd it is to consider a partner’s voting preference as a reason severe enough to disrupt a child’s family life. This reflects a level of privilege where political opinions are seen as deal-breakers over actual harmful behaviour

Racist views are harmful when it comes to family life in my view.
There's absolutely no way I could get married and have kids with someone with racist views, I just wouldn't want them constantly around them and exposed to that.
For some racism is a deal breaker.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread